Five, we Integrate. After realizing and accepting the divine purpose behind the incident that occurred, we allow the new truth into your physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional bodies, so it will essentially become a part of who we are. “After we have allowed ourselves to be willing to see the perfection in the situation and turned our stories into ones of gratitude, it is necessary to integrate that change at the cellular level. That means integrating it into the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies so that it becomes a part of who we are.” This step can be done through a series of mind- fulness practices such as breathing exercises, affirmations, and walking meditations. These five stages, which may not occur in this order and may happen simultaneously, give us the tools to lean into the discomfort of the situation because that’s where our ul- timate healing lies. Instead of walking away from our discomfort, we surrender, and get comfortable. If we don’t lean in, we resist, and whatever we resist will persist. Feeling betrayed, defeated, used, violated, wronged, discriminated, marginalized, or whatever else comes up for us is difficult to accept be- cause these feelings take us out of our com- fort zone, so that we are left feeling exposed and vulnerable. Tipping, who worked with cancer patients and other clients experiencing extreme stress and vulnerability, says that this pro- cess is restorative because breaking free of victimhood and replacing it with something radically different is liberating as it lifts us above our traumatic experiences to focus on the bigger picture: what we were called to do and how we can achieve our life’s purpose. Radical forgiveness is a way to not only forgive those we blame on harming us but also to forgive ourselves. Instead of wrestling with our pain, we can lean into our discomfort and allow it to be the source of our empowerment. This process of radical forgiveness is also a muscle that we continue to tone and build each time we use it until our suffering decreases—not because we no longer suffer but because we have adopted the right tools to deal with it.
Joy Activity Handout Adapted from Tribes: A New Way of Learning and Being Together by Jeanne Gibbs, 2001.
Instantly feel more joyful with this activity.
J: Write something that just happened to you (in the recent past).
O: Write something oh so special you want to do for yourself.
Y: Write something that makes You special. 24
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