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Agents For Life
What I Learned From My Mom The Truth Is Not That Complicated
My mother, Helga Bennett, passed this June. She was 91, and she was loved. During the COVID-19 restrictions, we had been unable to travel to visit her on the mainland, but I spoke with her every Saturday. I could tell things were changing when it seemed like we began having the same conversation every week. Irma and I were fortunate to have an extended visit with her this last April and May before she passed. Over the summer, I’ve been reflecting on my mom, who she was, and the impact she had on me. I was blessed as a kid to have a mom who really loved me. She grew up during the chaos of the war in Germany, so she had very little formal education. But she had persistence. Whatever challenges life put in front of her, she never gave up. And she instilled that in me.
For 17 years, I watched and learned. My mom worked in a factory, standing on her feet all day to operate a machine that made plastic bottle pumps. Never sick, always on time. I saw her give her best effort, day after day. And I wanted to be like that. When she dealt with people at the grocery store, in the neighborhood, or at my school, she always told the truth, never shading it even a little bit. With her accent, she would lean over to me and say, “David, the truth is never that complicated.” And that became an anchor for me. My mom worked so hard to support five kids on her own, she didn’t have much time for anything else. Year after year, I had a front row seat to witness her priorities in action. She took care of the needs of others. And that inspired me.
David Bennett (808) 392-7515 david@seniorhealth.pro
Irma Bennett (808) 799-0399 irma@seniorhealth.pro
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October/November 2022
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So, when I wake each morning, I know whatever challenges the day brings, I’m going to persist. When I work with my clients, I’m going to give my best effort every day. In my head, there’s a voice with an accent reminding me the truth is never that complicated. And I know my priority today will be taking care of the needs of others.
Like I said, I was blessed to have a mom who really loved me. The lessons of life I learned from her became the compass points that guide me in all I do.
And she was loved.
–David Bennett
THE POWER OF ATTITUDE Positive Mindsets Create Positive Outcomes
We’ve probably all known someone like Eeyore, the miserable donkey character from “Winnie-the-Pooh.” Even when good things happen, he looks at them in the worst light possible. These people tend to be exhausting, and many of us avoid them. But there’s a bit more Eeyore in most of us than we’d like to admit. Whether we’re aware of it or not, we all approach different aspects of our lives with a positive or negative attitude. Sometimes we expect the best, but other times we expect the worst. The problem is that anticipating bad outcomes tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s not because our thoughts control the universe — it’s because our thinking influences our behavior. Someone who doesn’t expect to get the job won’t shine in an interview. A person who predicts romantic rejection will lack confidence, making a meaningful connection
less likely. And when you think your physical fitness is doomed to failure, you will almost certainly give up your exercise routine.
Try to notice when your attitude could be better, like when you dread an event or find yourself automatically annoyed by another person. Once you’ve identified the negative mindset, think
Many people adopt a bad attitude because they believe it will protect them. After all, it’s hard to be disappointed when you didn’t expect much in the first place. But a negative attitude
of ways to reframe your thoughts. Pushing aside an idea like “This chore will be awful” to make
way for one like “This won’t take long, so I’ll make the best of it” will result in better outcomes. You’ll be less miserable during unwanted tasks, and they’ll be much less likely to ruin your day. Of course, a positive attitude won’t make all of your problems go away. You’ll still face rejection, disappointments, and setbacks. But a positive attitude makes coping with life’s curveballs easier. Rather than dwelling on what went wrong, it gives us the freedom to imagine what might soon go right.
ultimately sets us up for failure. We don’t create good outcomes when we don’t believe they’re possible. And we miss out on countless opportunities when we close ourselves off to them. Still, changing your perspective isn’t a straightforward process. Whether your overall attitude is positive or negative, you’ve likely lived that way for a long time. It’s hard to undo years of thought patterns. But starting small can help.
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NEVER A DULL MOMENT Why We Should Live for Today
We can’t change the past, nor can we predict or guarantee the future. In the end, all we have is the present, yet most of us live our lives ignoring its many possibilities.
But how do you even get started? The process requires a different way of thinking called mindfulness. Mindfulness is about focusing on what is happening in the present moment — not that work deadline, the movie you just watched, what’s for dinner, or the kids’ extracurricular schedule. It takes practice, and many people use meditation or breathing to help. When mindful, we concentrate on what others say and become more fully present. We also start to notice the small things we usually overlook: the cool breeze on our skin, the sound of the birds, the feel of a sweater, or the sight of our loved ones smiling. Our lives become fuller. And our stress decreases because we’re not clinging to things beyond our command. No one ever stops worrying entirely, and some planning is necessary to live a successful life. But too much can leave us with no energy or time to enjoy it. John Lennon once sang, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” Start living in the present so you don’t blink and miss yours.
It’s easy to tune out the life around you, especially if you do many of the same things every day. Taking care of the kids, commuting, working, and running errands can blur together. Just as bad, when life isn’t going the way we want, it’s easy to fantasize about how things “should” be or how they once were. When we live busy or stressful lives, worrying or planning can also make us feel more in control. The problem with these strategies is that they don’t change anything. They help us discount the only thing we can control: what we do now. Life can pass you by that way if you’re not careful. The solution is to exist in the present moment as much as possible and enjoy the good things around us while we have them. Studies show that living this way makes people happier, healthier, and more likely to form strong relationships.
CREAMY PARMESAN ORECCHIETTE
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want to keep spending time together. Sometimes, a match you thought would be perfect doesn’t work out. Most importantly, remember the quantity of friends you have is less important than the quality of the relationships. It’s possible to feel lonely in a crowded room, so having 2–3 close confidants is generally better than having a substantial network of casual acquaintances. Focus on finding connections with people who value you, and make regular time to spend together.
1. Cook orecchiette according to package directions. 2. On 2 baking sheets, place veggies. Drizzle with olive oil, salt, and pepper, and roast at 400 F for 20–30 minutes until tender. 3. In a pan, melt butter over medium heat. Add garlic and thyme, then sauté until soft. Add flour and whisk until smooth. Pour in the chicken broth 1/2 cup at a time, whisking to incorporate. Finish with Parmesan cheese, lemon juice, and salt. 4. Toss everything together. Top generously with pumpkin seeds and Parmesan cheese.
INGREDIENTS
For pasta: • 16 oz
For sauce: • 3 tbsp butter • 2 cloves garlic • 1–2 tsp fresh minced thyme • 3 tbsp flour • 2–3 cups chicken broth • 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese • Lemon juice, to taste • Salt, to taste
orecchiette • 3 cups cubed butternut squash • 3 cups broccolini • Olive oil • Salt, to taste • Ground black pepper, to taste • Pumpkin seeds
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Inside This Issue 1 What David Learned From His Mom 2 Is Your Attitude Holding You Back? 3 Taking Each Moment as It Comes
3 Creamy Parmesan Orecchiette 4 Time With Friends Improves Mental Health
What’s good for our minds is good for our bodies. So, these results probably stem from how friendship improves our mental health. We all know from experience that spending time with friends can reduce stress and boost our moods. But friends also give us a sense of belonging, purpose, and worth many people find crucial to good mental health. And while friends aren’t therapists, having their support during difficult times can prove invaluable. Unfortunately, not everyone has close friendships. Life gets busy, and connections from when we were younger fade to the background. We lose touch with people as we move or change jobs. And forming new friendships feels much more difficult than during our school years. How do you even meet new people?
You’ve got to put yourself out there. But it’s crucial to do so strategically. Joining a book club when you don’t enjoy reading won’t help you secure the meaningful friendships you want. So, what do you most enjoy? There are groups for all sorts of hobbies available in your community if you take the time to look for them. If you feel passionate about a cause, volunteer work is an excellent way to meet new people. And religious people often make great friends in faith communities. Building friendships takes time, and it won’t happen overnight. Don’t try to force closeness — you’ll only scare people off! Think of it a bit like dating. Both sides must work out for themselves whether they
We all know spending time with friends makes us feel good, but did you also know it promotes better health? Studies have shown people who stay socially connected have lower blood pressure and a lower risk of the inflammation that can lead to heart attacks or strokes. At least one review has also found people with meaningful relationships live longer than their lonely counterparts. That’s What Friends Are For HOW FRIENDSHIPS BENEFIT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
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