the understudy..
“For those of us trapped in addiction, we settle for being the understudy. We’ve lost freedom, faith, and the starring role in our own damn life story. As addiction takes over, we exit stage left and watch another person recite lines intended for us. There is a sense of life happening to us or at us instead of being part of the production. Addiction robs us of ambition and confidence, replacing them with shame and fear. It prevents us from accessing our true potential, so when we compare our performance to another’s, we never quite measure up. On stage, we take up as little space as possible, convinced we truly are runner-up. Perhaps we don’t like the script in our hand, but we say nothing. We do nothing. We change nothing. We don’t even know it is possible to put down the bottle, pick up the pen, and rewrite the script ourselves. We wait backstage in the darkness, shrouded in self-doubt, waiting for our chance to shine— both afraid it will never happen and terrified that it actually might."
― Jennifer Bridgman
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