TALKING IT OYER with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Q. Our daughter, UO years old, and single, is employed as a church sec retary. There is no opportunity for advancement and no pension plan, and the pay is moderate. It is a refined situation and we feel she is doing work for the Lord. But this is our question. Should she leave this position for one with high er wages and a retirement plan? I realize she will have to make the final decision, hut at the moment we are uncertain how to encourage her. A. This opens an important topic for discussion, and there are vital factors to consider. It is possible to get a job that pays well and has many fringe bene fits, but for a lifetime of effort what are the eternal values? Any unsaved person can fill certain posi tions just as well, but Christian or ganizations need dedicated believers with a desire to serve the Lord, for no one else can accept the responsi bilities o f such work. Not long ago a man said, “ I am sixty-five years old and I guess I am waking up too late. I’ve been in my line of work all my life and have worked very hard. I have made pretty good money but money isn’t everything. If I had never done this work at all, it wouldn’t have made much difference. Now as I look back over my life, I could have invested the last 40 years in the Lord’s work. Maybe I wouldn’t have made a big salary, but I would have gotten by and I would have had 40 years of harvest. Now I don’t have anything of lasting value.” “Only one life, ’twill soon be past; Only what’s done for Christ will last.” Now I would like to ask several questions. Does your daughter know how to budget? With God’s help and intelligent planning, she can make a dollar go a long way. Some people with very good salaries struggle all the time because they have been poor managers. To satisfy their whims and feed their egos, they overspend and live way beyond their income. I wonder if the church might be willing to develop an insurance pro gram for your daughter. This would give her some security and a definite advantage. All Christian organiza tions should seriously consider their responsibility toward their employees.
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a Rationally known psychologist. He is the director of one of America's
largest psychological clinics— The Christian Counseling cantor in Rosemead, California.
Many are struggling along financial ly and find it difficult to meet such expenses, but it should be done if at all possible. Perhaps your daughter should bring an insurance program to the attention of the church. She could contact an insurance agent, then share the information with the pastor. Is your daughter happy in her work? If not, perhaps she should consider taking a leave of absence to explore other employment. God could be calling her into some other work, and restlessness is just His way of saying, “ It is time to move on.” However, she needs to be care ful about the motive behind her de sire for a change. As she commits the situation to God, and as she ex plores various alternatives, He will make His will plain to her. Q. I am a high school girl with lots of problems. It seems as though my family and I just can’t get along. My parents never trust me. I’ll he seven teen this year and they still treat me like a baby. They even open my mail and read it. They always want to know to whom I am writing or from whom I get letters. When I buy clothing with my own money, they won’t lei me get it unless they like it. I am also having trouble in one of my subjects at school. Right now my father can’t find any work, so we have no money coming in. Be cause of this, they always take it out on me. What can I do? A. This is more than a simple prob lem of just how to get along with parents. There is something that both you and your parents need to do to understand each other. If you cannot calmly sit down together and talk over their feelings and attitudes, then they should go to a pastor or a professional Christian counselor for help. You need to understand that the problem of unemployment for your
father is larger than just not having enough money. Something happens inside of a man when he realizes he cannot get work. He begins to feel that society has rejected him. His self-confidence takes a plunge and often depression sets in. His nerves are on edge, and his reactions reflect his problems far more than he himself realizes. Also, when a parent is old enough to have a 17- year-old daughter, he is usually in his late 30’s, or 40’s or 50’s. Such a man or woman needs much under standing from their children. A ma ture teenager will think about the needs of his father and mother. This will prove that he is growing up— that he is maturing. If he rejects his parents, and their authority, and refuses to communicate with them, he is showing his immaturity. As a teenager, you will not prove that you are growing up by establishing a battle line. There are several things for par ents to consider. By the time a young lady is seventeen she is almost grown. The ability to think and catch on and to understand is just about as great for a 17-year-old as it is for an adult. Consequently, par ents can no longer work with such a young person as though she were a child. Continue to bathe your young peo ple in prayer and trust God to take over when they are out of sight. Young people respond when they are trusted with a desire to prove to you that you can trust them. Parents need to be loved, and un derstood. Children and young people need to be loved, and what’s more, they need to be told they are loved. It’s the everyday courtesies, thought fulness and understanding that help establish a rapport between parents and young people. As you, and your parents call upon the Lord, He will supply the grace and strength that is needed.
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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