T A L K I N G I T O V E R with Dr, Clyde M. Narramore
SOME DATING DO'S AND DON'T'S FOR CHRISTIAN YOUNG PEOPLE Q. I am a freshman in college. 1 s4em to he at the stage of my life where hoys, dates, and love seem to be very important to me. I haven’t had much dating experience, because most o f the hoys that I know are not Christians; and I have not dated non-Christians. Lately I havd had several dates with nice Christian hoys. My problem is that I feel that I am so inexperienced that I am not quite sure just what I should allow on a date. I don’t know very much about sex education, since my par ents regard the subject as “ hush, hush,” and are embarrassed when I ask questions along this line. It is not that I constantly think about sex. I just want someone to explain it to me and the dangers if it is mishan dled. For example, should a girl let every boy shet goes out with kiss her after the first few dates with him? Will this lead to trouble? What is pleasing to the Lord? How far should Christians go? What are some of the do’s and don’ts? I would appreciate any help and advice that you can give me. A. This is a very frank letter and contains questions which are asked by many young people. I appreciate your writing. As a freshman in col lege, your concern about dating is normal and natural. Your desire to date only Christian boys is good and you are to be commended on this, because the Bible says that we should not be unequally yoked to gether w ith unbelievers. Casual dates often ripen into friendship that may develop and lead to love, so you are wise not to date anyone who is not a believer. I f Christian boys are few in the church you at tend, it may be better to attend an other Gospel-preaching church where there is a good group of young peo ple. It is important to get out among Christian young people, and .it is not wrong to seek out young peoples’ ac tivities where there may be eligible Christian young men. You mentioned you have not had much dating experience, and that’s probably just as well. You asked
Dr. Narramore, graduate o( Columbia University, New York City, is a nationally known psychologist. He is the director ot one of America's
largest psychological clinics— The Christian Counseling center in Rosemead, California.
through it themselves. I go to her home to help with the housework and train her children to carry some of the work load at home to relieve her. I loaned her a port able FM radio so she can listen to our Christian station as she works so she might keep her mind off the burden o f work, and her soul uplift ed to God. I referred her to your broadcast which she enjoys very much and I help her with her cor respondence. A. I appreciate your letter very much, which speaks eloquently for itself. I will send you some excel lent materials for your friend. In your letter you have indicated six very important things we can do for people who have mental and emotional problems: 1. Let the person know that you understand. Let her know that she has a friend in you. It is comforting to someone who is ill to feel that someone cares, and is a source of encouragement. 2. Help her with her work. When a person is mentally or emotionally distraught, housework is a burden. To help relieve this pressure would lessen frustrations. 3. Help to train the children so they can carry some of the work load. Later on even the children will thank you for they will develop effi ciencies and attitudes which will en rich their lives. 4. Flood the home with good Christian music, which will uplift and inspire, turning this friend’s thoughts toward God. Good, uplift ing Christian literature will also prove very helpful. 5. Help with correspondence so she can reach out to other people. The strain of writing is frustrating to anyone who is emotionally upset because it is often difficult for them to concentrate.
about kissing. I f I were a girl, I would not want every boy I knew kissing me. I believe that fine Chris tian young men who date girls can have a nice time without expecting to kiss them. When a person loves you, he will respect you. Respect and love always go hand-in-hand. When a young man tries to get a girl to do something which is un wholesome, he does not respect her. When girls try to get boys to do things that are not right, it means that the girl has no respect for the boy or no knowledge of what is proper or improper. I would suggest that you save these demonstrations of affection for the one whom you feel is God’s choice for you. As you read and study His Word, and as you have Christian fellowship and date different ones, God will lead you in a circumspect life, so when you do find the right one, you have not given away these wonderful things which are such precious privileges of the marriage relationship. Q. Do you have any literature that may help me in serving one who is recovering from a nervous break down? She is an attractive, intelli gent Christian mother of two chil dren who has never known the se curity o f a home with a mother and father. Her mother went into an in stitution soon after her birth; she was reared by a relative and foster parents where co n s ta n t changes brought frustration and rebellion. Having been through breakdown myself years ago, I understand how she feels. I am so glad that God has given me an opportunity to serve Him through loving service to those in need. No one knows ivhat a per son goes through in a mental break down except those who have gone BEAR YE ONE ANOTHER'S BURDENS
THE KING'S BUSINESS
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