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Pilgrims of hope A call to gentleness and renewal
... during car time and walking time A moment to talk ...
G ardeners pay close attention to the seasons, to the changes they bring. Whether we garden or not, we too are called to take notice of the seasons of our day-to-day pilgrimage. We are called to tend to our spiritual garden. The liturgical calendar of the Church serves as a valuable resource to help keep us on track. Also, the Jubilee Year 2025, with the theme “Pilgrims of Hope,” comes as an opportunity for spiritual renewal. Returning to the gardening theme, I can’t help but think of the concept of winterizing. Recently I read a Masterclass article on how to winterize roses. While I don’t grow roses in my garden, I hope to one day. I was struck by the parallels of taking care of a rose garden to taking care of our spiritual lives. Just as winterizing calls for protecting plants from the harsh weather so that they can survive unharmed and bloom again in the spring, we must take steps to prepare ourselves for different challenges that will come our way. Our journey of ongoing formation fortifies us and enables us not only to carry the crosses that sancti- fy us, but also to be pilgrims of hope. The Holy Father in his letter announcing the Jubilee Year, “Spes Non Confundit” (“Hope does not disap- point”), emphasized his desire that “the Jubilee be an opportunity to be renewed in hope.” He included this focus on hope in the theme for World Communications Day 2025 – “Share with gentleness the hope that is in your hearts” (cf. 1 Peter 3:15-16). The Vatican Dicastery for Communication, noted in the announcement, the theme “draws atten- tion to the fact that today too often communication is violent, aimed at striking and not establishing the con- ditions for dialogue. It is therefore necessary to disarm communication, to cleanse it of aggression.” The aim is to communicate the message of hope that is Christ with deeds and words. This prompts us to consider closely our own words and deeds. To reflect on our interactions with one an- other. Do we take a gentle approach that fosters respect, dialogue, and understanding? Are we compassionate and respectful in our interactions with others? Do we follow Jesus’ model of gentleness in our communication by using words of comfort and encouragement? Are we patient? The song, “They’ll Know We Are Christians by Our Love” that includes the line, “We will work with each other, we will work side by side,” speaks concisely as to
how we can be pilgrims of hope.
Gentleness with words and deeds In Evangelii Gaudium , the Holy Father tells us, “We need to practice the art of listening.” “Listening, in communication,” he writes, “is an openness of heart which makes possible that closeness without which genuine spiritual encounter cannot occur. Listening helps us to find the right gesture and word which shows that we are more than simply by- standers.” I am learning to listen more attentively and to spend time in prayer before responding in some situations. I find it prudent to wait for emotions of the moment to subside before expressing my thoughts. My daughter’s passionate and at times contentious approach to some conversations on topics can trigger tempers – politics for example. Rather than allow tem- pers to flair, I find it best to walk away, to focus, not on our disagreement, but on her loving and caring heart. Focusing on who the Lord created her to be, helps me in responding more gently. Time with my grandson and granddaughter teaches me to lean more towards gentleness in their toddler years, as they grab for breakable items within reach, as they require hypervigilance in every moment. As their nana, my goal is to be love at all moments, no matter what gets broken or messy. I want to be the calm they can come to when they feel caught in a storm. In gardening, the practice of deadheading and pruning calls for the removal of withered or browning flowers and cutting back stems and branches to pro- mote new and healthy growth. Applying this approach to our own lives, we can look for ways to eliminate language and responses not conducive to dialogue. We can prune what distracts us from being fully present for another. We can deadhead pride that gets in the way. Let’s look for inspiration in those who give witness to God’s presence, to the beauty and peace gentleness promotes. Mother Mary stands as the perfect example. I imagine the gentle and tender approach she took in each of her apparitions. In Tepeyac when she spoke to Juan Diego: “Listen and understand, my littlest son, let nothing frighten and afflict you or trouble your heart … Am I not here, I, who am your mother?” We are blessed in our families and parishes with many pilgrims of hope. Who are the pilgrims of hope in your life? How can you be a pilgrim of hope for others?
T here is something very special and, in many cases, intimate, about being side by side with another person and talking or sharing or discussing what is in our heart and mind at that moment. In the Gospel of Luke 24:13-17, we read the account of what we all recall as The Road to Emmaus: “And behold, two of them were going that very day to a village named Emmaus, which was about seven miles from Jerusalem. And they were talking with each other about all these things which had taken place. While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself approached and began traveling with them. But their eyes were prevented from recog- nizing him. And he said to them, ‘What are these words that you are exchanging with one another as you are walking?’ ” In picturing this account of Jesus walking with two of his disciples, it occurs to me that in a similar way, walking time and car time have the potential of being good family time because it allows us to use that contained time and space to be with the other. It can allow us the opportunity to share in a way that sometimes we can’t when we are in the house going about our given respon- sibilities like housework or cooking. For the kids and grandkids, it might be homework or sports, extracurricular activities, or church-sponsored activities. As families, regardless of what stage of the Family Life Cycle we are in, it behooves us to be intentional about nurturing our relationship with each family member. We should take advantage of the short spurts of time we have together in our particular rhythm of everyday family life. My husband Mauri and I often walk a couple of miles early in the morning. The first mile affords us time to talk about what we are planning for the day, or what is most pressing in our hearts. On the way back, we pray the rosary and include intentions.
When our 11-year-old grandson Elian is with Mauri and me as we take him to his catechetical class, chess class, or to the grocery store, I take advantage of the time to ask questions. Some are typical “how was your day/ what did you learn” type of questions. I also like drawing from family books (example: “The Game: Family Dinner Box of Questions”) that have questions like “If you were given $1 million to give to charity, which one would you choose?” or “What has a family member said or done for you this week that was very thoughtful?” or “Using one word, how would you describe your family?” If Elian has a tablet with him, he can only use it one way, or until a timer goes off, so we can spend the time talking. This past summer, our three-year-old grand- son Elias Marcos rode with Mauri and me on a two-day trip from Kansas. It didn’t occur to me to ask his mother for a tablet for him to be entertained. However, it wasn’t necessary. We read books, and he talked about the trucks, cars, and landscape he saw. As active a child as he is, I was amazed and grateful that we could spend that car time together with very little fuss. As a couple, Mauri and I enjoy carrying around a book of questions, Dana Nygaard’s “365 Dates to Renew your Christian Marriage,” in our vehicle. He is a man of few words, so direct ques- tions like those found in this book are enjoyable because I get to be privy to his wisdom and/or ex- perience – questions such as, “What is something your parents taught you that you really appreciate now?” or “How have you changed since our wed- ding?” and “What strengthens your faith?” Car trips are also a wonderful time for us to pray the rosary together. Just as Jesus took the time and attention to walk and talk with others, may the Holy Spirit grant each of us the wisdom to find ways that assist us in connecting with one another through talking, praying and working together.
Brenda Nettles Riojas Editor, The Valley Catholic
Lydia Pesina Director, Family Life Office
“Share with gentleness
“... it behooves us to be intentional about nurturing our relationship with each family member. We should take advantage of the short spurts of time we have together ...”
the hope that is in
your hearts” (cf. 1 Peter 3:15-16).
Theme for World Communications Day 2025
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DIOCESE OF BROWNSVILLE
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THE VALLEY CATHOLIC
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