MOM & SON ESQ. P.I. - "PILOT"
7.
Todd’s phone beeps, he looks at it. Joan appears (driving, and completely unaware she is on camera). She rants: JOAN (ON PHONE SCREEN) Dear God, careening through life, making the rest of us pick up the pieces. You still owe me $9000! TODD Mom you hit the FaceTime button. JOAN (ON PHONE SCREEN) I did not! I can hear you perfectly! TODD And I can see you. You’re on video. Joan turns to her phone (in dashboard phone holster): JOAN (ON PHONE SCREEN)
No I am-- Oh. Well. I would like you to put together a real plan for living an adult, financially solvent life. TODD And I think that plan begins with not talking to you when things are super crappy for me. Jesus, I lost my job. JOAN (ON PHONE SCREEN) TWO YEARS AGO. And that’s a mess you walked right into. TODD How is this helpful? And should you really be FaceTiming while driving? JOAN (ON PHONE SCREEN) I AM IN THE PARKING LOT OF BEST BUY PICKING UP OUR NEW TELEVISION. TODD
Oh, congrats. Must be nice. Guess you don’t really need that $9000 back. JOAN (ON PHONE SCREEN) YOU WILL PICK UP YOUR BOXES TONIGHT. Todd deflates (exhale, eye-roll) as Joan hangs up on him. And Allison darts away across the yard to her car. ALLISON
Look, why don’t you just clean the driveway. As rent, OK? I DON’T CARE! (MORE)
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