DEAD TO ME
"It's Not You, It's Me"
Written by
Liz Feldman and Kelly Hutchinson
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
1.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
INT. JEN’S HOUSE - JEN'S BEDROOM - MORNING BIRDS EYE CLOSE UP on JEN’s face, in bed, staring at the ceiling. She turns as we-- WIDEN OUT to reveal BEN’s sweet sleeping face, just inches from hers. His hands rest gently across her stomach. Jen can’t help but melt for a moment at the face of this lovely, kind man, until we... FLASHBACK TO:
EXT. BACKYARD - THE NIGHT STEVE DIED - FLASHBACK Steve’s cold, wet, dead face.
MATCH TO:
INT. JEN’S HOUSE - JEN'S BEDROOM - MORNING Ben’s sleepy, angel face as he opens his eyes. He smiles. Jen stiffens. He’s obviously smitten. She’s covering her discomfort. BEN Mornin’. JEN Hey. BEN (grins) I can’t believe I’m here. JEN Me neither. INT. STATE PENITENTIARY - ADMITTANCE - SAME A prison door SLAMS SHUT behind a startled Judy, as a FEMALE GUARD escorts her into an admittance area.
INT. JEN’S HOUSE - JEN'S BEDROOM - MORNING Ben rubs Jen’s arm sweetly. BEN How’d you sleep?
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
2.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
JEN (she didn’t)
Good.
BEN
Good.
JEN
Good.
BEN
Good. He goes to kiss her and she goes along with it, for a moment. Then she pulls away. JEN I have to shower. Jen slips out of bed, self conscious, dragging both the sheet and duvet with her, leaving Ben fully uncovered. He grabs a pillow to cover himself before rolling towards his clothes.
INT. STATE PENITENTIARY - ADMITTANCE - SAME Judy hands over her purse as the FEMALE GUARD wands her down.
INT. JEN’S HOUSE - MASTER BATHROOM - MORNING Jen turns the shower on, then picks up a towel. She wants to scream but she can’t. JEN (to herself)
You’re a fucking psychopath. Fucking full-on, Taxi Driver fucking psycho. What the fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you! BEN (O.S.) You okay in there? JEN (quickly and too loud) Yep! (then again, to herself) You’re fucking De Niro-- you’re just fucking De Niro in every movie he’s fucking ever been in.
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
3.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
INT. STATE PENITENTIARY - VISITING ROOM - SAME Judy opens the door to the visiting room, where a STRIKING WOMAN (60) in a tan jumpsuit waits. Seeing her takes Judy’s breath for a second. Then she moves slowly to the table and sits. JUDY Hi Mom. ELINOR Hey. SMASH TO: MAIN TITLES INT. STATE PENITENTIARY - VISITING ROOM - SECONDS LATER Judy is sitting with the woman we now know is her mother: ELINOR HALE (60), an irreverent, manipulative charmer who has probably Dirty John-ed a fella in her day. There’s a palpable distance between them. The vibe is awkward, heavy. ELINOR Lemme look at you. Judy Ann, you haven’t changed at all. Beat. JUDY You look good. You’re still so beautiful. ELINOR Oh, come on. I know I look like a bag of day-old shit. JUDY
Nooo. You’re really pulling off that jumpsuit. It’s very on-trend. ELINOR Working with what I got. I’m-- what’s that book-- Leanin’ In. JUDY I don’t think that’s what that book’s about, but-- ELINOR Yeah. Haven’t read it.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
4.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
JUDY
Me neither.
Beat. Then.
ELINOR Why’re you here? JUDY
I’ve lost some people... recently, and-- I didn’t want any more time to go by before I saw you again-- you’re my mother. I’ve missed you. ELINOR I miss you, too. It’s been 15 years. Part of me thought I’d never see you again. I just figured you didn’t want anything to do with me. JUDY
Mom-- I sent you all those letters. I kept trying. I just thought you didn’t want to see me. ELINOR I wrote you back. JUDY You did? ELINOR (covering) Of course. JUDY I-- I never got them. And you never called, so I-- Elinor waves her off like she doesn’t believe her-- ELINOR It’s okay. You don’t have to-- You did the right thing, staying away. And I never worried about you. The world has always loved taking care of you. With that face. A beat, as Judy doesn’t know how to take this in. JUDY How long do you think you’ll be here? This time?
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
5.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED: (2)
ELINOR (tongue in cheek) I don’t know. Could be five, could be ten. I haven’t decided. (then, sincere)
But it’s alright. Really, I’m good. I’m sober. This... this is actually the most peace I’ve felt in a long time. JUDY Really? ELINOR Yeah. You know how exhausting it is to hide and lie all the time? Judy knows all too well, but she doesn’t say anything. ELINOR (CONT'D) I got here, and it was like I could finally exhale. JUDY (deep breath) Right. ELINOR It’s not the worst thing... paying the price. A beat, as this resonates with Judy. JUDY Yeah. I can see how that would be a relief. INT. JEN’S BEDROOM - LATER THAT MORNING Jen emerges from the shower, dressed. Ben, now dressed, sits on the edge of the bed waiting for her. He smiles. She doesn’t. BEN I’m still here. JEN You are. BEN You’re freaking out.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
6.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
JEN
No I’m not. Ben steps forward and gently takes her hands in his. She stiffens. BEN
Feels like you are a little. And I get it. You’re with a new person, it’s weird, it’s scary--
He has no idea.
BEN (CONT'D) --And I think all we can really do is dance it out. JEN What? BEN I think we should dance it out.
Ben sweetly takes her into a slow dance. She relents. He starts singing a little made up song into her ear as he gently moves her around the room, doing a little two step. Jen can’t help but give in for a moment, even as she’s dying inside. BEN (CONT'D)
You’re wigging out/ And that’s alright/ It’s normal to spin out when someone new spends the night/ Especially when he’s a nerdy
chiropractor/ But maybe it would help to know one little factor/ He thinks you’re incredible/ And... Ben breaks singing and looks at her adoringly. BEN (CONT'D) Coming up short with a rhyme for incredible. Jen pulls away. JEN I can’t do this. BEN Indelible! There it is.
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
7.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED: (2)
JEN No. Stop. I’m sorry. Ben, this has all been a huge mistake. BEN (surprised) What? Why? JEN It doesn’t matter why. BEN
It matters to me. Because I don’t think it’s been a mistake. I feel like I’ve waited my whole life to meet someone like you. Someone who challenges me and shows up, who’s this amazing combination of kind and strong... and beautiful. Like really beautiful, inside and out. All of this plunges Jen deeper into a self-loathing guilt spiral. JEN
No. Ben. No. That is-- you have no clue who I really am. You deserve to be with the person you just described, but I assure you, it is not me. BEN Jen-- this is crazy. What are you talking about? Help me understand. Is this because it’s too soon after your husband-- JEN No-- it’s not. BEN Can we at least talk about it-- JEN (fighting tears)
No, we can’t. Please just go, please don’t make this harder. Ben, hurt, retreats towards the door. He turns before he goes.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED: (3)
BEN You know, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I really hope that someday you can see yourself the way I see you. ‘Cause it’s pretty special.
He exits as Jen starts to sob.
INT. JEN’S HOUSE - FOYER - CONTINUOUS Ben, bummed, rushes down the stairs when he bumps into CHARLIE. CHARLIE Hey Ben. BEN Oh, hey Charlie. I was just leaving. Charlie senses the weird vibe. CHARLIE Is everything okay? BEN Yeah. All good. I was just um-- having a meeting with your mom. A morning meeting. CHARLIE Uh-huh. BEN But it’s over. (then) Hey, uh-- you take good care of yourself, okay? CHARLIE Okay... BEN And-- take good care of your mom, too. CHARLIE Sure. He exits. Charlie watches him go, unsure of what’s going on.
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
9.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
INT. STATE PENITENTIARY - VISITING ROOM - LATER Judy and Elinor, still talking. The vibe is decidedly lighter as the two women become more comfortable with each other. ELINOR You’re living in Laguna? Fancy, fancy! Who’s the fella? JUDY No, no fella. I live with my friend Jen and her two boys, Charlie and Henry. ELINOR Oh. You don’t have your own family? JUDY No. But I have them. ELINOR Well, motherhood’s overrated anyway. Beat. Judy fidgets, trying not to feel hurt by that comment. A LARGE SECURITY GUARD (FRANK) addresses Elinor. FRANK Two minutes. ELINOR Aw, Franky can I have a lil more? Catching up with my daughter. Isn’t she beautiful? FRANK I see the resemblance. (then, sotto) You can have five. Just this once. ELINOR Thanks. Don’t think I didn’t notice that haircut. Frank smiles at her, as Elinor turns back to Judy. JUDY
I don’t know how you do it. Still making friends everywhere you go. ELINOR You need ‘em in this place.
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
10.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
JUDY How did you end up back here? ELINOR Can’t get into it-- they listen-- but it’s the system. Once you go in they make it almost impossible for you not to come back. JUDY (tearing up) Right. I’m sorry, Mom. ELINOR Look. You were just a kid. They shouldn’t have let you testify. JUDY
I think about it all the time. I just... I had to tell the truth. ELINOR Yeah. You didn’t know better. A beat as this twisted logic lands on Judy. ELINOR (CONT'D) It’s in the past right? Let’s live for the future. JUDY Yeah. Okay. I’d love to see you more. ELINOR Oh baby, I’d like that. (then) Rumor has it I have a parole hearing coming up -- maybe I’ll get out sooner than later. JUDY Really? ELINOR
Especially if I had a lawyer this time who didn’t get his degree at Costco. But good attorneys don’t come cheap.
Judy catches her mother’s drift.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
11.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED: (2)
JUDY God, I would love to help you, mom, but I don’t have any money-- ELINOR
No, I wasn’t-- it’s okay. If you can’t show up for me like that, you can’t. A thump as Judy is hit with a wallop of guilt. JUDY Yeah. (then) Well, I mean... I can try. ELINOR That would mean a lot.
INT. JEN’S KITCHEN - LATER THAT MORNING Charlie and HENRY are sitting at the island eating cereal as Jen enters. She tears through a big pile of mail. CHARLIE So, I saw Ben coming down the stairs earlier... HENRY Ben was here? JEN Oh, he was just here for a second for... real estate stuff. CHARLIE (laughs) In your bedroom? JEN (admonishing) Yes. CHARLIE He seemed upset when he left. JEN He did? CHARLIE Yeah--
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
12.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
Jen opens another piece of mail that gets her attention. JEN Shut up. CHARLIE I didn’t say anything. JEN
No, sorry, not you. I just got a letter from the city council. They denied my stop sign petition. CHARLIE Seriously? HENRY Why? JEN
I don’t know. It doesn’t say why. It’s just an impersonal rejection from some faceless assholes. CHARLIE So that’s it? We did all that work for nothing? Jen looks at Charlie, buoyed by his frustration. JEN No. That’s not it. She goes to grab her bag. HENRY Where are you going? JEN To make them tell me to my face. CHARLIE Can I come with you? JEN
Uh, no, you may not. You are gonna finish your breakfast, and then when you’re done eating, you’re gonna take your bowl to the dishwasher for once in your life.
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
13.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED: (2)
CHARLIE I’m on your side, why are you mad at me? JEN I’m not. I’m just covering my bases. Jen slams the door, she’s already gone. Charlie stirs his cereal around, worried. INT. CITY COUNCIL - OPEN FORUM - LATER CLOSE ON a large monitor telling us that we are in a very dry, procedural city council meeting. The current topic up for debate: “MEDIANS: SHOULD WE OR SHOULDN’T WE?” A PANEL OF BOARD MEMBERS, made up of primarily older white men, listen as MARCY, a DULL, MONOTONE WOMAN, stands at a microphone. An audience of twenty or so looks on. MARCY
I mean, I’ve done the research, and the numbers are very compelling. I’m just very passionate about this. So I think, in terms of medians... we shouldn’t.
Several of the board members nod in agreement, as Marcy crosses out to REVEAL Jen. She approaches the microphone. JEN Hi. Jen Harding. Real estate agent and mother. And... I just want to say... No. A white-haired board member, BERNARD, looks up, confused. BERNARD To medians? JEN No. To you. BERNARD I beg your pardon? JEN
I submitted a proposal for a stop sign, which was just “rejected” by the council, and I’m here to reject your rejection.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
14.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
A few titters and surprised looks from the crowd. This is the closest thing to excitement this city council has ever seen. BERNARD Well, I’m sorry but this is the Median Hearing. JEN Well, now we’re talking about stop signs. BERNARD That request was unfortunately denied because stop signs slow down traffic. JEN Yeah, that’s the point. A board member coughs, uncomfortably. BERNARD
After review, the board felt it could actually do more harm than good. JEN Who is a stop sign going to harm? Some asshole who bought a Lambo to compensate for his micro-dick? BERNARD Miss, there’s no need for that kind of-- JEN No. No. Don’t “miss” me. That’s so annoying. I’m a full grown fucking woman.
A tiny snicker from the audience. JEN (CONT'D)
And I have a teenage son who’s about to get his driver’s license. I’m just trying to protect him, and make the neighborhood a little bit safer for him and for all of you. Another board member, who looks vaguely familiar (ANDREW PETERS from last season Ep. 108), pipes in.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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CONTINUED: (2)
ANDREW You know, Mrs. Harding, I find it interesting that you’re so concerned with keeping your neighbors safe. JEN Sorry-- do I know you? ANDREW Yeah, we met. The name’s Andrew-- Andrew Peters.
Jen looks at him. Oh fuck.
FLASHBACK TO:
INT. ANDREW PETER’S GARAGE - FLASHBACK Inside Andrew Peters’ RED MUSTANG, he tries to make a move on Jen. She struggles and he pursues... until she punches him in the face. BACK TO:
INT. CITY COUNCIL - OPEN FORUM - RESUME SCENE As they were. ANDREW You might remember me from when you offered me a free estimate of my house... and then assaulted me. A hubbub in the crowd. Jen is momentarily thrown. ANDREW (CONT'D) Almost broke my nose. JEN I should’ve hit you harder. ANDREW Excuse me? The crowd titters.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
JEN Well, you may remember that the reason I tried to break your nose is ‘cause you were trying to force yourself on me after I repeatedly said no. And I said no to you, not just because you’re fucking gross, but because I had just lost my husband, and the last thing I needed was to be molested by some smug, horny prick. ANDREW That’s not what happened-- JEN --Could’ve used a stop sign that day, huh? (then, getting emotional) And maybe if there’d been a stop sign on the road where my husband was killed, he’d still be alive and my boys would still have their Mrs. Harding, though I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s death, we don’t know that a stop sign could have saved him. JEN No, we don’t. But it’s one stop sign. And if there’s a chance it could save someone else from feeling like I do every day, trust me, it’ll be worth it. Because I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. (to Andrew) Even you. father. And our whole world wouldn’t have fallen apart. BERNARD
The crowd slowly erupts in applause. Jen turns to see A FEW WOMEN IN THE CROWD looking back at her, with admiration. Jen can’t help but feel... almost good.
INT. POLICE STATION - BULLPEN - DUSK Judy walks to PEREZ’s desk and hands her a wrapped gift. Perez is caught off guard.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
JUDY Hi. This is for you. PEREZ Ms. Hale-- JUDY I feel like you can call me Judy by now. PEREZ I don’t. JUDY Oh. Well-- I brought you something.
Judy hands Perez the gift. Perez opens it. It’s a small framed sketch that Judy has drawn of FLO, Michelle’s mom. JUDY (CONT'D) It’s Flo. I heard she’s feeling better-- (then, quick)
Not from Michelle-- she won’t return my texts, which is really hurtful-- PEREZ Seriously?
Judy relents.
PEREZ (CONT'D)
(re: gift) Thank you for this. Perez returns to her work. Judy persists. JUDY You’re welcome. (then)
I was also hoping you could do me a favor. PEREZ You think you’re in a position to ask me for favors? JUDY Probably not, but it’s about my paintings. I’m looking for them. It’s a whole collection of little girls with holes in their hearts--
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED: (2)
PEREZ (weirded out)
Uh huh.
JUDY I know they sound weird, but they’re worth something. And the last time I saw them was at Steve’s gallery-- PEREZ Stop talking. I have something to show you. (calls) Prager. Perez looks incredulously at an unseen person. NICK crosses over from a nearby desk, startling Judy. NICK Hello Judy. JUDY (cauhght off guard) Heyyy Nick. Nice to see you back in uniform. NICK Is it? Nick turns his phone to her, revealing SEVERAL PHOTOS OF CHARLIE DRIVING STEVE’S MERCEDES. PEREZ Can you do me a favor, and explain to me what’s going on in these photos? JUDY (panic) That’s not what it looks like. NICK That’s not Charlie Harding with Steve Wood’s car? JUDY Charlie has nothing to do with anything about Steve. Perez and Nick exchange a look.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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CONTINUED: (3)
NICK Then help us understand why there’s also CCTV footage of Charlie driving Steve’s car the night it was burned. JUDY I-- um-- PEREZ Look, our boss is itching for us to get an arrest in this case-- NICK And he thinks we should be looking at you-- JUDY He does? PEREZ He does. (re: photo) But it’s a little hard not to look at this. It’s our only actual lead. JUDY But it’s just a few pictures-- NICK They don’t tell a very good story. PEREZ We know Charlie’s angry about his father’s death. NICK And we know he’s had access to a gun. PEREZ The question is, was he angry enough to use it? Which obviously, we’ll have to ask him-- JUDY He didn’t-- that’s not what happened. NICK Then what did?
Judy sits in stunned silence.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED: (4)
PEREZ Look. Charlie’s the one who needs a favor, now. So if you have a better story, you need to tell us. Quickly. Off Judy looking like she could break into a thousand pieces... INT. JEN’S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - DUSK Jen lays out a lovely home cooked dinner on the dining room table. She calls out. JEN INT. JEN’S HOUSE - HENRY’S ROOM - DUSK Jen enters to find a dejected Henry sitting on his bed. JEN Hey, Boop. Dinner’s ready. HENRY I’m not hungry. Henry can barely look at her. JEN No? What’s going on? You okay? HENRY I got into a fight with Shandy. I don’t want to be her friend anymore. JEN Char? Hen? Your mama made dinner. Kind of a once-in-a-lifetime thing happening here! No one answers. She moves toward the stairs.
Why? You can’t just talk it out? Shandy seems very... reasonable. HENRY She killed my bird. JEN She did?
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
HENRY I know you told her to lie about it. JEN (gut punch) Oh.
Henry looks at his mother, hurt. HENRY Why would you do that? JEN
I-- I don’t know, honey. I’m sorry. I knew how sad you were about the bird, and I didn’t want you to feel any worse. HENRY But I do feel worse. You’re my mom. And you fucking lied to me! Jen, taken aback and feeling horrible, leans in close. JEN I know. I made a mistake, honey. Moms make mistakes sometimes. I’m so sorry. Can I make it up to you? Should we go to the arcade? HENRY No. (then) But maybe when Judy gets home, she could come up to my room. JEN Okay. Henry pulls out the BROKEN TOY BIRD from under his blanket, to comfort himself, as Jen’s eyes go wide in horror. JEN (CONT'D) You... have your bird there? HENRY Yeah. But somehow his tail broke. JEN (covering) Huh, guess it did.
(MORE)
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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CONTINUED: (2)
JEN (CONT'D)
(kisses his head)
I love you. Henry doesn’t respond. Jen, trying not to freak out, reluctantly gets up and walks out the door to: INT. JEN’S HOUSE - HALLWAY - DUSK - CONTINUOUS Charlie, full of steam, stops Jen in her tracks. CHARLIE Mom-- we need to fucking talk. JEN Oh god, what now? Charlie steps in front of Jen, forcing her to face him. CHARLIE
I’m not Henry, okay? You don’t have to hide shit from me. And you don’t have to lie-- JEN What are you talking about? CHARLIE Everything. Ben. Steve. I know you’re the one who burned his car. You had a fucking gas can in your hand! JEN Charlie, you don’t know what you’re talking about, okay? And it’s not your business-- CHARLIE It is. It is my business. You’re my mother. Aren’t we supposed to look out for each other? JEN We are. And that is why I’m telling you to drop it. Okay? Trust me. CHARLIE (pleading) Okay, then tell me what the fuck is going on.
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Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
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CONTINUED:
JEN
I can’t.
CHARLIE
Why not?
JEN
Because...
CHARLIE
Why?
JEN (breaking) Because I’m scared. (covering)
Steve Wood was involved with some really dangerous people, okay? So you, please, don’t say another word about this ever again. Do you understand me? CHARLIE Yeah-- JEN Not another word, Charlie. CHARLIE Okay. Jen looks down and sees Charlie holding THE SATCHEL from Steve’s glove compartment. JEN What-- what is that? CHARLIE Nothing.
INT. POLICE STATION - BULLPEN - NIGHT Perez and Nick at her desk. NICK
You don’t really think the kid did it. PEREZ I’m just going off the evidence. It’s all we have.
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CONTINUED:
NICK (re: his folder) You ever take a look at what I gave you? PEREZ
I did. But we need more. A couple of photos of a guy walking into an art gallery doesn’t prove much. NICK Neither does a couple of photos of a kid in a car. They look up to see CHIEF HOWARD HASTINGS marching toward Perez’s desk. HOWARD (to Nick) Prager, my man. Those phones aren’t going to answer themselves. Nick gives Perez a look as he crosses away to answer the phone on his desk. Hastings leans in to Perez. HOWARD (CONT'D) (sotto) What’d Judy Hale have to say for herself? PEREZ She’s not talking yet. HOWARD Did you dangle the kid? PEREZ (feeling gross) I... did. HOWARD Good girl. PEREZ I’m not your girl. HOWARD Sorry. Thought that’d be a compliment for a woman your age. Hastings exits, as Perez watches him go. PEREZ (under her breath) Bitch.
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INT. JEN’S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - LATER Jen sits at the dining room table. Alone. Food still untouched. She is deep into a bottle of wine. Judy enters, devastated. Jen looks up at her, in a similar state. JUDY Hey. I need to see you in the garage, please. Now. JEN Really? Just-- fuck. Okay.
INT. JEN’S HOUSE – GARAGE – MOMENTS LATER Jen and Judy rush in. JEN What’s going on? Judy sobs. Jen comforts her. JEN (CONT'D)
Hey, hey, Judy, just tell me what’s going on. JUDY (panicked) The police have pictures of Charlie driving Steve’s car. The ones Parker took. JEN Oh god. JUDY And they have him on CCTV driving it the night it was burned. They think he did it, Jen. JEN (tearing up) No no no. No. (then) What am I gonna do? JUDY Nothing. (then) Because I’m gonna take the blame. For all of it.
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CONTINUED:
JEN What are you-- no you’re not. JUDY (strong) I’m not asking. I’m telling you. JEN Oh, fuck no-- JUDY You are going to let me do this. I need to do this-- JEN Oh, my God, no. JUDY Yes. Listen to me. (beat) The night that Steve died... I was gonna kill myself. JEN What? JUDY But then you called me, and you saved me. JEN Judy... JUDY And maybe you saved me for a reason. So that I could do this, for you, right now. JUDY (CONT'D) You have a family. You have a life. Please let me do this for you, Jen. I’m responsible for all of this. If it wasn’t for me, none of this would have happened. JEN You’re not responsible for Steve’s death. I am. JUDY Yes, I am.
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CONTINUED: (2)
JEN No, you’re not. JUDY He came here looking for me, and then he attacked you. JEN No-- JUDY Yes, it was self-defense, Jen. JEN No, it wasn’t-- JUDY Yes, it was-- JEN No, it wasn’t, Judy. JUDY What are you talking about? JEN He was walking away! He didn’t attack me, okay? I attacked him. JUDY You said he tried to strangle you. JEN No, I-- I lied. JUDY You what? JEN I lied. I’m sorry. JUDY No, I don’t understand why you-- why would you do that? Why-- why would you kill him?
Off Jen, we...
FLASHBACK TO:
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
28.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
EXT. BACKYARD - THE NIGHT STEVE DIED - FLASHBACK Steve turns to leave, then turns back, his face full of vitriol. He looks at Jen and spews. STEVE
He was looking for a way out honey. Ted... he jumped in front of our car. JEN No-- STEVE Oh, yeah, he wanted to get hit! JEN Fuck you-- STEVE You know what? I don’t fucking blame him, because if I was married to you, I’d want to put a fucking gun to my head. I’d want to kill myself too, you miserable cunt!
BACK TO:
INT. JEN’S HOUSE - GARAGE – RESUME SCENE Jen, barely able to look at a distraught Judy. JEN (shaky, weeping)
He said some really bad things, okay? And I got angry. And I lost it. JUDY What did he say to you? JEN I can’t... it doesn’t fucking matter. JUDY Yes, it does. What did he say to you? JEN No, it doesn’t--
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
29.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
JUDY It obviously matters, because you fucking killed him. What the fuck did he say to you? JEN He said Ted jumped in front of your car. He said that he wanted to die because of me. JUDY You know that isn’t true, right? JEN It’s true-- JUDY No, it’s not-- none of that is true. That’s just what Steve did. He wanted to hurt you. That’s how he was. But he’s right. I’m a piece of shit, Judy. I’m a fucking piece of shit. Ted fucking hated me. My kids fucking hate me. I fucking hate me. Everybody fucking hates me. JUDY I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. JEN
A beat as this lands on Jen. JEN
Oh, God, that’s because you love anyone who just gives you a morsel of fucking attention, even if it’s abusive. It’s like you get off on it or something. It’s why you loved Steve and why you love your shitty, fucking asshole mother! You’ll just stick around for anybody. A beat, as this hits Judy in her deepest place. Judy takes off out the door. Jen follows her out...
EXT. JEN’S HOUSE/STREET - CONTINUOUS Jen catches up with Judy.
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
30.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
CONTINUED:
JEN I’m sorry, Judy. I didn’t mean that. Please don’t go. Judy tries to walk away. Jen pulls her back. JEN (CONT'D) I’m so sorry. Judy can’t even look at her. JEN (CONT'D) It’s okay to be angry. You should be. You should be fucking irate! I deserve it! You should punch me in the fucking face! JUDY No. JEN Hit me! JUDY No! JEN Punch me in the fucking face! Jen grabs Judy’s hand. Judy yanks it back. JUDY I’m not like you.
Judy hurries into Abe’s car. She starts it, and guns the engine. Jen suddenly gets in front of the car in desperation. JEN Hit me! Jen bangs the hood of the car. JUDY Get out of the way! JEN Just hit me! JUDY Move! JEN Please!
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
31.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
INT. JUDY’S CAR - SAME Suddenly, Judy lets out A GUTTURAL SCREAM. She WAILS. But not at Jen. At herself. She starts to hit herself, hard, like we’ve seen her do in her private moments alone in the bathroom. Jen watches through the windshield, horrified. Jen crosses and gets into the passenger seat as Judy begins to weep. Jen envelops her in her arms, stopping Judy’s self- flagellating tirade. Jen holds her tight until Judy relents and gives in to the hug, sobbing in Jen’s arms. JEN (gently) It’s okay, it’s okay... JUDY (through tears) It’s not okay. PRE-LAP: “It’s Just a Matter of Time” by Brook Benton. INT. JEN’S HOUSE - JEN’S BEDROOM - A LITTLE LATER A worn out Judy sleeps, curled up in Jen’s bed. Jen pulls up the covers over her, brushing the hair out of her face. It’s sweet, maternal. But there’s a look in Jen’s eyes that belies the tender moment. As the song continues, we see: INT. JEN’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - LATER -Jen, at the kitchen island, puts a letter into an envelope and writes “Charlie” on it. INT. JEN’S HOUSE - HENRY’S ROOM – SAME -Jen kisses Henry, sleeping in bed, and takes the broken bird out of his little hand. INT. GUEST HOUSE - LATER -Jen enters and opens the safe-- revealing THE GUN. She puts the broken bird inside, then removes something else from the safe, unseen, with steely resolve.
DEAD TO ME
Ep. 209 - "It's Not You, It's Me"
32.
Green Rev. (12/16/19)
INT. JEN’S HOUSE - JEN’S BEDROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT Judy wakes up, turns to Jen’s side. But she’s not there. Instead, on Jen’s side of the bed, Judy finds Jen’s IN CASE OF EMERGENCY Binder (from 202) along with three envelopes. Written on them: Charlie, Henry and Judy. As Judy takes this in, a stark realization dawns on her... JUDY (calling out) Jen?! EXT. MICHELLE/PEREZ’S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR – SAME Perez, in her PJs, opens the door to see Jen, distraught. PEREZ Mrs. Harding? What are you doing here? Jen swallows hard and meets her gaze-- JEN There’s something I have to confess. CUT TO BLACK.
END OF EPISODE
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