8. Feedback + Hearing + “What” Feedback is a very powerful tool when it comes to coaching yet it is our recommendation when it comes to coaching, feedback alone is nothing more than feedback alone. If you lead with feedback and you want to coach, follow it up with a ‘what’ question such as: “John, I think you have an opportunity to accelerate your insertion into the team as a more positive and influential teammate. Hearing that, what are you going to do to successfully engage with that feedback, and what actions are you going to take?” The feedback provides the specificity of needed change, and the question afterward creates a launching pad to action and positive thought process. 9. Permission + The Sword + What When we ask for permission, it’s the ultimate sign of respect versus just unloading feedback. It doesn’t solve anything yet it does lower most people’s defenses. The Sword is a phrase such as: “So I don’t assume anything, which I think would be unfair to you…” indicates you are approaching them and you are owning why the conversation is occurring, ultimately leaving the person being coached to feel significantly less defensive. Here’s another example of permission plus the Sword: “John, I would love your permission to share with you a couple opportunities (Permission) where we can raise our game specific to teamwork, and the last thing I want to do is assume where you’re coming from (Sword) and I want to give you ample time to share with me your strengths, and honestly some areas where you’d like to improve as a teammate.” After the above statement you can ask your first ‘what’ question, which will start off the conversation such as: “What are your strengths and what is one area where you can improve?” The key is to truly wait for permission to be granted, and we advise not to ask that question and then simply start the questioning sequence, which might make people lean back in their heels. 10. Supplemental + What One of the most powerful things that has been developed is supplemental coaching. Supplemental coaching is exactly what it sounds like, it supplements your direct coaching. This could be reading an article or a book, or watching a video, or meeting with the mentor, or a peer to practice. The key to any type of supplemental coaching success is to use questions starting with the word ‘what’ as activities or even learning projects to communicate the success and challenges associated with the supplemental coaching. Here are a few examples of how to use supplemental coaching: • Read The Ideal Team Player by Patrick Lencioni. Every week, John, I want you to e-mail me two things you successfully learned from the chapter you read and one thing you successfully applied because of that reading.
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