The National Anthem Pink Script - slight shift.fdx

INT. DOWNING STREET BEDROOM - NIGHT 1 It’s very dark in here. Virtually the only thing we can make out is a double bed with a couple slumbering beneath a duvet. Beside the bed, a Blackberry thrums into life, on vibrate. From the bed, a man’s hand blearily reaches for the Blackberry, but manages instead to knock it onto the carpet, where it continues to thrum away. He grunts slightly. The Blackberry stops humming. For a moment, all is quiet again. Then another phone rings: an office desk phone, beside the bed. Sighing, he reaches over and switches on a lamp. Now we see him: Michael Callow: early forties. His wife Jane rolls over, pulls the covers up around her. Glancing at the clock beside the bed (5.13am), Michael lifts the receiver with a faintly resigned, apprehensive air. MICHAEL Hello. He listens. MICHAEL (CONT’D) Just tell me what’s happened. He listens. Whoever’s on the phone is saying something, but not giving him the basics: what is happening? MICHAEL (CONT’D) What is it? The voice on the other end says something. Something that wakes him up. His face drains of what little colour the night had left it with. MICHAEL (CONT’D) I’ll be right down. He hangs up and sits, slightly stunned, for a moment. Jane has woken up herself. She touches his arm to comfort him. JANE What’s happened? MICHAEL (staring into space) Susannah. JANE Susannah? MICHAEL Princess Susannah. He rips back the bedclothes and reaches for a dressing gown.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 -

JANE Is she alright? Michael heads for the door. MICHAEL I don’t know.

INT. DOWNING STREET BRIEFING ROOM - NIGHT 2 A large oak panelled room. Prime Minister Michael Callow sits at a large conference room table, a coffee in front of him, still in his dressing gown. We hear muted sobs. Female. Coming from a speaker. But for now, we’re watching the people in this room. It’s a COBRA meeting. Aside from Michael there are four others present. Sitting to his right: Alex Cairns, Home Secretary, in her early 50s, smartly dressed. Also present: Julian Hereford, DG * of MI5 -- also smartly dressed. Standing at the back of the room, Director of Communications Tom Bilce, in trendy specs. * There’s also a steely looking man in his mid-30s: Section Chief Walker, also MI5, standing by a plasma screen which is * currently demanding everyone’s attention. The screen from which the sobs are emanating. It’s hooked up to a laptop in * front of Julian. * On screen, an attractive woman in her 20s. Mascara running * down her face. Cut-glass accent. We only see her from the shoulders up: straps of a summer dress and fresh bruises. It’s Princess Susannah. Clearly in great distress. Tied in position, arms behind her back as far as we can tell. She looks off to the side: there’s someone standing there, behind the lens. Someone we can’t see. SUSANNAH Don’t kill me. We see Michael’s ashen face, as he watches. Then back to the screen as an electronic voice - one of the standard ones included with modern laptops - speaks, off-mic, to the Princess. ELECTRONIC VOICE Read the statement. SUSANNAH Please don’t kill me. ELECTRONIC VOICE Read the statement.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 -

SUSANNAH Yes... all right. From that screen? There is a slight pause: we hear brief typing. ELECTRONIC VOICE That is correct.

Susannah looks down the lens, and starts to read, like an amateur presenter having to read an autocue at gunpoint. At times hesitant... at times stuttering on her own terror. SUSANNAH I am Susannah, Duchess of

Beaumont... popularly known as Princess Susannah. I am somewhere you cannot find, held by someone you will not trace.

She pauses, peers at the next bit.

SUSANNAH (CONT’D) Prime Minister Michael Callow... We see Michael blanche at the direct mention of his name. SUSANNAH (CONT’D) Prime Minister Michael Callow... My life... my life depends on you. If you do not do precisely as instructed by 4pm this afternoon, I will be... (she sobs) I will be executed. Oh God I c-- Abruptly, Julian taps the spacebar on the laptop -- the video * pauses. * MICHAEL What are you doing? Keep it going. JULIAN Her car was intercepted shortly after midnight. Returning from the wedding of one of her student friends. MICHAEL opens his mouth -- Alex Cairns speaks for the first * time. She’s looking down though, at the table. * ALEX * She’d insisted on going. MICHAEL (to JULIAN) But you had security on her, I mean- Prime Minister, at this point it’s important to say we are 100 percent certain this is indeed Princess Susannah.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 -

WALKER Two PPOs; still unconscious. MICHAEL Unconscious? WALKER Heavy sedative, close range, each with a single puncture wound, no sign of struggle.

Michael gestures at the screen, dazed. MICHAEL What do they want, money? No-one says anything. MICHAEL (CONT’D)

Release a jihadi? Scrap 3rd world

* *

debt?

(exasperated by silence) Save the fucking libraries? JULIAN We believe both the video and the demand it contains to be genuine. MICHAEL (shouting) What demand?

Beat.

ALEX What Susannah says next... it concerns you directly sir.

Michael stares at her. Looks round at all of them. None of his aides are making eye contact. He’s worked alongside Alex and Tom for three years. Now they won’t look at him. Julian is also looking at the table. This already bad situation just took a lurch towards nightmarish. Callow looks at Walker, who is regarding him with a glimmer of sympathy. WALKER This is actually happening sir. MICHAEL (quieter) Just play it. Julian hits his keyboard. The video resumes.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 -

SUSANNAH ... can’t... please... I don’t want to die. She dissolves into sobs. We hear fast off-camera typing. ELECTRONIC VOICE Continue to read the statement. Susannah looks back at the lens. SUSANNAH There is only one demand. And it is a simple one. At 4pm this afternoon Prime Minister Michael Callow must appear on live television, on all British networks -- terrestrial and satellite -- and... no. ELECTRONIC VOICE Continue to read the statement -- SUSANNAH ... on all British networks, terrestrial and satellite -- and have full unsimulated sexual intercourse with a pig. (sob; looks offscreen) I don’t understand. Julian pauses the recording again, just as a list of instructions appears. JULIAN The video ends with a series of technical specifications for the broadcast. We watch MICHAEL’s face register 500 bewilderments at once. He tries to speak. Nothing. He almost laughs. Then thinks again. He looks around: no-one makes eye contact. Finally: MICHAEL Why are you doing this? (beat) It’s a joke, right? Ha ha Mike. Ho ho. There is more silence. JULIAN It’s real. Michael stares at the table. Then back at the screen. Then at Alex, his confidant . MICHAEL Did she say “pig”? Sex with a pig.

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Alex nods.

MICHAEL (CONT’D) They want me to have sex with a pig? TOM On live television this afternoon. MICHAEL But what -- who the-- WALKER We’re checking with our embedded operatives, compiling suspects as we speak. ALEX Meanwhile, the demand has been made and there’s not long to formulate our response. MICHAEL Well I’m not fucking a pig. Page one, that’s not happening. ALEX Of course.

He looks around. Alex nods. Tom nods. Julian nods. Walker’s face doesn’t react at first. Until Michael looks at him. WALKER Absolutely sir. MICHAEL (to Julian) Have we established a dialogue with this... person? JULIAN We can’t. There’s no email address, no codeword, no channel for negotiation. Almost certainly a deliberate stance. Michael stands up again. He’s pacing now, trying to think: MICHAEL Okay. So. We focus on finding

Susannah, get her back, however it’s done, I don’t care, we stop this now. ALEX I assure you everyone is working toward this.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 -

MICHAEL Yes -- no! Not everyone! Dedicated core team. This can’t go wide.

He looks at Tom Bilce.

MICHAEL (CONT’D) And keep it so far from the press it’s on the other side of Jupiter.

Tom opens his mouth awkwardly.

MICHAEL (CONT’D) It only exists in this room. TOM It’s already outside it. That’s another blow. Michael’s rattled by it: MICHAEL If there’s hacks sniffing round, shut them down. Tom looks like he wants to say something. MICHAEL (CONT’D) Before Tom can answer, Julian interjects. JULIAN This video came from YouTube. Michael spins around, agape. MICHAEL What? WALKER Bright red D-notice. Super-fucking- Godzilla-injunction with ten-inch Whitehall fangs.

It was uploaded via an encrypted IP over an hour ago. MICHAEL Well get it off there! JULIAN We did, after nine minutes. But that was long enough for it to be downloaded, duplicated, and spread. MICHAEL Spread? How many people have seen this?

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JULIAN We take one down, six clones pop up elsewhere. It’s viral. MICHAEL How many people? WALKER 50,000. That’s our current estimate. Michael is silenced as that unfurls in his head. Then: TOM The newsrooms have got it. MICHAEL (alarm) They’re running this on air? ALEX No. We put a type five D-notice out immediately, and they’re complying. TOM For now. Michael’s spooked. Alex shoots Tom a look: not helpful. TOM (CONT’D) (ominously) It’s trending on Twitter. Michael looks at the screen, once again struck dumb. He looks around the room; he might cry. Then he thumps the table hard. MICHAEL FUCKING INTERNET! ALEX (calmly) Well, yes. MICHAEL So now what? What’s the playbook? JULIAN It’s new territory, Prime Minister. There is no playbook. Michael looks more puce than ever. Rubs his eyes. MICHAEL Christ. END OF PART ONE

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 -

EXT. STREET - DAY 1. EARLY MORNING

3 *

A flat above a shop. We close in on a bedroom window.

INT. KIERAN & LAUREN’S BEDROOM - DAY 1. EARLY MORNING

4 *

This is a bedroom belonging to a young couple. The male half, Kieran, sleeps in bed. His girlfriend Lauren * isn’t here yet. * The door bursts open. It’s Lauren his girlfriend, dressed for * work -- she works as a receptionist in A&E . She’s holding a * laptop and a phone. Kieran jumps. * LAUREN Princess Susannah’s been kidnapped! KIERAN * You scared the shit out of me. LAUREN There’s a YouTube of it! KIERAN (half awake) * Go to work... * LAUREN * Gabriel texted me about it from * Canada. * LAUREN passes him the laptop and then switches on the TV. * We look over Kieran’s shoulder at the laptop. The video -- * beneath it are comments from viewers -- a lot of ‘WTF’ and ‘OMFG’. SUSANNAH (oov) On all major networks... terrestrial and satellite -- and have full unsimulated sexual intercourse with a pig. KIERAN Gotta be a pisstake. LAUREN * (eyes on the TV) * It’s too... weird for that. Lauren is watching the channel UKN News -- a news network. LUCINDA TOWNE is the NEWSREADER * Archive footage of fire engines and the headline NO WAY OUT *

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 10.

LUCINDA TOWNE

* * * * *

... the Tillsdale fire inquiry hears

harrowing 999 calls

made by trapped residents as flames

engulfed the building.

LAUREN Why’s it not on the news?

SCENE 5 OMITTED

EXT. UKN NEWS BUILDING - DAY 1. EARLY MORNING 6 It’s early morning. We’re looking at a glass-and-steel building. A bit Horseferry Road. A sign with a big UKN News logo. Over this, we hear a woman’s voice. The newsreader. LUCINDA TOWNE (V.O.) * Shut Down: The Tate Modern's * controversial 'Agitation' * exhibition closes three weeks ahead * of schedule, amidst criticism from * the Culture Secretary. * 7 A modern rolling news studio. From one side of the camera, we see morning shift news anchor Lucinda Towne reading * headlines. LUCINDA TOWNE * In the Clear: Footballer Geraint * Fitch has been cleared of any * wrongdoing following a * confrontation with the paparazzi * outside a Manchester restaurant. * INT. UKN NEWS STUDIO - DAY 1. EARLY MORNING INT. UKN NEWS ROOM FOUR - DAY 1. EARLY MORNING 8 This is a meeting room designed to accommodate about twelve people comfortably. Right now it’s holding almost double that, some seated round the table, some standing. On the table a laptop shows the Princess Susannah video. A debate is in full flow. Doing most of the talking are: two reporters, Malaika (female, attractive, late 20s) and Damon (late 30s). Outranking them are Shelly, Day Editor (late 30s) and Martin, Executive Editor (early 40s). Martin sits at the head of the table. DAMON How would we even describe it? An “indecent act”?

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MALAIKA Everyone’s seen the video; they already know the full-- SHELLY If we mentioned bestiality pre- watershed Ofcom’d be seriously pissed off-- MALAIKA (snorting) Fuck Ofcom. MARTIN We’re still honouring the D-notice - SHELLY But surel-- MARTIN (raised voice) We are honouring the D-notice MALAIKA (sotto) The voluntary D-notice... MARTIN (looking at Malaika)

It may be a ‘sportsman-like gesture’ but we’re making it. (he looks around) A woman’s life’s at stake. We follow procedure. Malaika holds up her iPhone to display Tweetdeck. MALAIKA (brandishing iPhone) My timeline consists 100 percent of

viewers asking why we’re not covering it. How do I reply? MARTIN You don’t. MALAIKA That’s totally backwards-- MARTIN No-one’s breaking rank. Not the Beeb, not Sky, not -- DAMON (unhelpfully) I hear Facebook’s coverage is pretty comprehensive.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 12.

MARTIN That may be, but -- MALAIKA It’s like 9/11’s happening and we’re broadcasting sandwich recipes. MARTIN We are not a chatroom. A young researcher, JACK, sticks his head round the door. JACK It’s on CNN. The room turns to look at him. JACK (CONT’D) And Fox. And MSNBC. Al Jazeera, NHK, NDTV... MARTIN (he’s got the point) Alright. Malaika looks vindicated. Martin crumples slightly. MARTIN (CONT’D) (sighing) This planet. Then he claps his hands and stands up -- a commander. MARTIN (CONT’D)

Okay. Sarah, you cover the snatch itself. Damon, public reaction; Mira, Royal angle, upcoming marriage etc; Simon -- set tone with standards and practices. We’ve got to explain this without viewers sicking up their Weetabix.

* *

Martin walks past a series of team members; he’s like Patton. But he’s ignoring Malaika, and she’s starting to notice. MARTIN (CONT’D) Lorcan, the internet aspect. New paradigm, Twitter, Arab spring, all that bibble. Lorcan nods. Martin is already onto the man beside him. MARTIN (CONT’D)

Dan, all graphics run past me. And keep it functional. No Peppa pigs.

Finally he gets to Malaika. A brief pause.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 13.

MARTIN (CONT’D) Malaika, update the Princess obit VT.

Wow. To Malaika, that’s an insult. MALAIKA The obit VT.

Finally Martin looks at Shelly. He puts his hand on her

* * * *

shoulder.

MARTIN

Shelly -- you’re fired.

Shelly looks aghast.

MARTIN (CONT’D)

* *

Seriously, get out.

Shelly goes to open her mouth.

MARTIN (CONT’D)

* * *

(deadpan)

Okay that was a lie. I’ll be in the

gallery with you, if you can bear that. (sighing) But first... an awkward phonecall. Least I can do is warn Tom. As MARTIN exits the room, we see MALAIKA is texting someone. * 9 A twenty-something press assistant called ANDREW is glancing * at an incoming message on his Blackberry -- we don’t see it -- * but then quickly hurries off screen, as he hears, bombing * round the corner, Tom Bilce on the phone. Tom looks furious, * but daren’t raise his voice too much. TOM We put a D-notice on it! MARTIN (on phone) It’s global, Tom. TOM Don’t. I’m begging you. MARTIN (on phone) You’re begging me? TOM Don’t run it Martin. INT. NUMBER TEN CORRIDOR - DAY 1. EARLY MORNING

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 14.

MARTIN

(on phone) I’m sorry: I can’t help you Tom.

Two Downing Street staff members brush past Tom; he nods at one, lowers his voice further. Once they’re out of earshot, he hisses violently into the mouthpiece. TOM (furious, hissing) Shove it up your arse you f-- Just then the door he’s standing beside opens -- Alex appears in it. Tom abruptly hangs up. Alex eyes Tom with suspicion. * ALEX (pointing at phone) Interesting? TOM A man. * ALEX A man? TOM A man. Beat. ALEX (quietish) Tom, so you’re across it... I’m * exploring contingency plans. * Tom gives her a look. * Know how much help you’re getting from here on in? Multiply nothing by shit all. UKN’s dead to us. *

EXT. BANKSIDE STUDIOS - DAY 1

A TV Studios. But there’s something strange about it: specifically, we see, a police officer near the door, turning a member of staff away.

INT. BANKSIDE STUDIOS CORRIDOR - DAY 1 11 On the walls: the occasional framed shot of celebs and gameshows. This place is commonly used for mainstream TV. A besuited special agent named CALLETT -- Government type, about 35, is on the move toward the studio, flanked by two armed special officers. They pass a corridor -- CALLETT quickly points down it.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 15.

CALLETT Harper, any doors down there, secure them.

One of the officers obediently peels off to stride down the corridor. CALLETT and the remaining officer keep moving. A paunchy producer in his mid-40s called JON appears from another corridor, chaperoning NOEL, a youngish FX guy with a flashy Alienware laptop under his arm. JON Mr. Callett? Noel from Blue Eye. With a glance, CALLETT sizes him up. Noel is about 24; a bit alternative, in a T-shirt with retro videogame art on it. JON (CONT’D) (quickly) Noel won an Emmy for his FX work on that HBO moon... western... thing. NOEL Sea of Tranquility. JON You won’t find better. By now they’re at the perimeter of a TV studio, walking backstage... CALLETT still walking with purpose. CALLETT (to NOEL) Can you map a head onto a different body, live? NOEL Depends if your camera’s moving. Callett hands him a print-out with a list of rules on it CALLETT His rule-sheet specifies a single

* *

handheld camera in a constant

‘roving’ motion. * Noel inspects the list. As he reads it, we start moving into the studio space itself... INT. STUDIO - DAY 1 12 They enter a cavernous television studio more commonly used for gameshows. Today it’s stark. A simple black backdrop. NOEL * Gonzo style. * (reading) *

(MORE)

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 16. NOEL (CONT'D)

Knows his shit, that’s tough.

* * * *

(back to the list)

“Fruition” to be transmitted in

full? What’s --

(thinks for a moment; answers own thought)

Ah. Yeah.

CALLETT Just focus on the visuals. Different face mapped onto a live... (not sure of the word) performer... with those stipulations. NOEL Fringes of possibility... CALLETT Deadline’s at four. Need to know if it’s workable by two. NOEL Can’t happen. CALLETT It has to. Any kit you need -- any kit, it’s yours. NOEL Mate, I’m good, but I’m not Jesus Christ. As CALLETT walks off; not even looking back at NOEL... CALLETT He didn’t have computers.

INT. HOSPITAL CASUALTY AREA - DAY

14 *

This is a Casualty waiting area with seating, a reception * desk, and a plasma TV on the wall near the Reception Desk to * keep waiting patients occupied. *

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The plasma TV is tuned to UKN News, upon which Lucinda Towne * is still blahing on about anything other than this. Footage * of BIN COLLECTION VAN and headline REFUSE ROW. * A slim nurse, BRIAN, is near the desk. Also an orderly, PIKE * (boorish guy in ironic T-shirt). They’re both looking at the * telly. LAUREN arrives and takes her place behind the desk. * LAUREN Is it still not on telly? BRIAN Nothing. Must be a hoax. PIKE * Or a blackout. Just then, the onscreen strap is replaced by a whooshing BREAKING NEWS logo. PIKE (CONT’D) Woah, heads up. LUCINDA TOWNE * (shift in tone to suggest * this is potentially * monumentally upsetting * news for most viewers) * Some major breaking news now here * on UKN. * PIKE (shouting back to some * other staff) * It’s real! Everyone else in the area looks up. Now it’s real. * INT. UKN NEWS STUDIO - DAY 1 15 Full screen on the news report. The BIG BREAKING NEWS STRAP * resolves to PRINCESS KIDNAPPED Beneath that in smaller text: * Susannah Duchess of Beaumont has been kidnapped. * NB TEXT IN BOLD ITALICS WILL BE WHAT IS HEARD IN THE * FOLLOWING SCENES. * LUCINDA * In the last few minutes it's been * confirmed that Susannah, Duchess of * Beaumont has been kidnapped. A * video uploaded anonymously to the * internet appears to depict the * Princess pleading for her life. * STILLS FROM THE VIDEO; PRINCESS KIDNAPPED strap stays up. *

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 18.

SCENE OMITTED

16 *

16A

INT. KIERAN & LAUREN’S BEDROOM - DAY 1

16A *

KIERAN is now sitting up, watching the TV. LUCINDA

* * * * * *

(on screen)

In the video, The Princess is depicted pleading for her life and addressing Prime Minister Michael

Callow directly.

INT. HOSPITAL CASUALTY AREA - DAY 1

17 *

Everyone is rapt with attention. Patients and staff alike.

LUCINDA TOWNE (V.O.)

* * * * * *

Details regarding the kidnap itself are scarce, although UKN understands the vehicle the Princess was travelling in was intercepted shortly after 1am this

morning.

This is a scene being played out across the country.

17A

INT. NASH ARMS - DAY 1

17A *

This is a pub; not open yet but they’re preparing for the day. A DELIVERY MAN is wheeling in barrels of lager as a woman who works in the pub watches the news on a small

* * * * * * * * * * *

portable TV near the bar.

LUCINDA (V.O.)

The identity of the group or individual thought to be holding the Princess is unknown although its understood the Security Services are currently following every available lead.

We also see, in the UKN video, some news photos of the * Princess -- in one her Emerald engagement ring is featured * prominently. *

SCENE OMITTED

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 19.

INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS. DAY 1. 19 Some kind of workshop, in which a man in paint-spattered overalls has stopped to watch a small TV in the background. He drinks a cup of coffee while watching the broadcast. LUCINDA * As police round up potential * suspects across the nation this UKN * News viewer video shows armed * officers raiding an address in * Bradford. A man thought to be * connected with a religious pressure * group can be seen being dragged to * a waiting van. * On the screen: shaky iPhone-quality video footage of guys * being bundled into the back of a van by armed cops (OR VANS * SIMPLY OUTSIDE AN ADDRESS). * 20 Michael is doing up a shirt - he’s just got changed. Walker passes him a sheet of paper containing a list of names. Some are organizations -- from Animal Rights to Muslims4Sharia -- others are named individuals. WALKER INT. DOWNING STREET BRIEFING ROOM - DAY 1.

Our embeds have ruled out the major players: it’s not AQ, not IRA. This is what’s left. Radicals, hate groups, people who’ve threatened yourself or the Royals... JULIAN They’re being brought in as we speak. MICHAEL For more than questioning I hope. (looking at list) Someone knows something.

INT. HOSPITAL CASUALTY AREA - DAY 1 21 * In the casualty area they’re still transfixed by the breaking * news. LUCINDA (on screen) Two guards in the princess’s

security detail were reportedly rendered unconscious during the kidnap.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 20.

PIKE (eating a biscuit) If it’s terrorists they’ll take her head off. BRIAN Fuck sake, man. PIKE Just saying.

SCENE OMITTED

23A

INT. NASH ARMS PUB - CONTINUOUS. DAY 1. 23A SONIA, a barmaid-landlady in her early thirties, is behind the bar, preparing pumps for the day’s trade and being distracted by a portable TV in the corner on which the news is being broadcast. Behind her, her faintly nerdy 13-year-old mixed race son has wandered downstairs and is half-watching the news, half-playing a handheld videogame. LUCINDA (ON SCREEN) * The video also depicts the Princess * reciting a statement containing a * bizarre ransom demand of a personal * nature involving the Prime * Minister. * SONIA (eyes on TV) They’ll be asking for a million quid or something. SON (gawping at game) They want him to do it with a pig. SONIA (annoyed by that) Go to school. The boy exits.

* *

INT. DOWNING STREET STAIRWELL - DAY 1 24 TOM BILCE bustles toward his office, Blackberry beeping every few seconds. Beside him, a young assistant called CAMILLA, referring to an iPad, updates him on coverage so far.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 21.

CAMILLA Telegraph has the full video and an interactive timeline, tonally stark, brief mention of ransom being a sex act, nothing too gross...

They near the press office...

INT. DOWNING STREET PRESS OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER. DAY 1. 25 This is Tom Bilce’s little fiefdom. Computer monitors, and two big tellies at the side. One is tuned to UKN News. TOM and CAMILLA enter. * CAMILLA * The Sun’s site runs with ‘TAKEN’; * big grab of Susannah, mentions the * demand euphemistically... * It’s a poky room, with desks, and three young assistants in their twenties. One of whom is the quiet, faintly nerdy assistant called ANDREW we saw in a corridor earlier. He’s currently on the phone, speaking slightly in code. ANDREW * (on phone) Of course I still want that drink. *

25AA

INT. UKN NEWS ROOM CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS. DAY 1.

25AA *

We see it’s MALAIKA on the phone.

MALAIKA

(on phone) Then give me something...

25AB

INT. DOWNING STREET PRESS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS. DAY 1

25AB *

ANDREW’s worried he might be overheard

ANDREW It’s not - that won’t be possible

We watch Tom’s face, staring intently at the TV as CAMILLA continues with her coverage assessment. MALAIKA (on phone) I’m friendly when I drink. Very friendly when I’m grateful.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 22.

25A

INT. UKN NEWS CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS. DAY 1.

25A *

MALAIKA

Want to see how grateful I can be?

25B

INT. DOWNING STREET PRESS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS. DAY 1. 25B ANDREW turns the phone to his other ear and lowers his voice. ANDREW There’s no comment at this time. He hangs up.

INT. UKN NEWS CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS. DAY 1.

26 *

MALAIKA looks at her phone and thinks.

INT. TOILET STALL - DAY 1 27 Malaika has slid the sides of her top down slightly, to expose her shoulders. She is taking a photo of herself with her phone. She looks at it and hits some more keys. 28 Camilla is still burbling away while Tom gawps at UKN News. CAMILLA Guardian’s businesslike but sympathetic; they are running a * fucking liveblog -- * TOM * Ugh. * CAMILLA * ... and a short think piece on * historical symbolism of the pig... * INT. DOWNING STREET PRESS OFFICE - DAY 1 Andrew’s Blackberry thrums once more. He looks at it. A picture of Malaika -- cut off just below the shoulders. It looks like she’s naked, even though she isn’t. He checks no-one’s looking over his shoulder. Looks at the photo again. And he puts the phone back in his pocket. But now he’s on a slightly different plane, somehow. INT. DOWNING STREET HALLWAY, PRIVATE APARTMENT - DAY 1 28A * Jane, with a worried expression on her face, moving down from * the flat towards the briefing room. *

28A

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 23.

28B

INT. DOWNING STREET CORRIDOR - DAY 1. 28B * Outside the briefing room door, a security guard, spots JANE * and looks at the floor. * 29 This is now a nerve centre. Staff coming and going -- the PM in shirt pacing up and down. Julian updating him... JULIAN INT. DOWNING STREET BRIEFING ROOM - DAY 1 We’ve been squeezing hard but still nothing concrete. Those names were long shots, so maybe no surprise b-- A commotion; someone trying to enter. A security guard trying to stop them. It’s Jane. We hear but don’t see her. JANE (oov) It’s my house. You can’t stop me. That’s my doorway. You’re touching my doorhandle. Jane pushes past the security guy. Everyone’s looking at her. Then at their shoes. Jane fixes Michael with a look. JANE (CONT’D) (sharply) Can I have a word? Michael opens his mouth. But nothing comes out.

29A

INT. DOWNING STREET CORRIDOR - MOMENTS LATER. DAY 1. 29A A staff member shuts the briefing room doors from outside.

INT. DOWNING STREET BRIEFING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER. DAY 1. 30 The briefing room is now empty apart from the PM and JANE. MICHAEL It won’t come to that. JANE And if they don’t find her? MICHAEL

MI5 have a name; they’re surrounding a place now. JANE Where?

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 24.

MICHAEL

What?

JANE Where’s the place? MICHAEL

(impressively fast)

Truro.

JANE (equally impressive)

Why are you lying? MICHAEL What? JANE You’re lying. Truro, Jesus. No point arguing. He puts a hand on her shoulder. MICHAEL I don’t want you worrying-- JANE (pushing his arm away) You never patronize me, don’t start now. MICHAEL Whoever this is is insane-- JANE -- and has a princess -- MICHAEL Who’ll get through this -- JANE Not any princess, but the princess-- MICHAEL Even if they don’t find him -- JANE - Princess Facebook bloody eco- conscious ‘national sweetheart’ ... MICHAEL -- I won’t have to do anything. JANE (tearing up) Everyone’s laughing at us. MICHAEL You don’t know that.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 25.

JANE I know ‘people’. We love humiliation. It’s just slapstick to us -- we can’t not laugh. MICHAEL Nothing’s going to happen -- JANE It’s already happening in their heads.

* *

In their heads, that’s what you’re doing, what my husband’s doing... He touches her neck; she pushes his hand away. He touches it again. His touch makes her cry. JANE (CONT’D) I just... please... She pushes his hand away, but doesn’t really want to. He puts it back, cradling her head. MICHAEL Jane... JANE I love you. There’s a knock at the door. Then it opens to reveal CAMILLA. MICHAEL (irritated) What? CAMILLA Palace on the phone sir. MICHAEL I’ll be there in a bit. Get Alex to stall them. CAMILLA She’s been speaking to her for the * last ten minutes. MICHAEL Her? CAMILLA It’s the Queen herself. Michael looks at Jane as if to say ‘sorry, but...’. JANE (understandingly) Go on. Jane masks her tears from CAMILLA as she leaves.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 26.

I/E. CITY - MONTAGE - DAY 1 31 We are listening to a radio phone-in over shots of traffic; shots of builders on a site (with a radio); shots of a woman listening in her garden. The host is BOB HAYNES. The first caller is a man called WAROUQ who speaks with a bit of an ‘innit’ tone. BOB So Warouq: you say no negotiation with terrorists? WAROUQ (phone static)

Yeah, cos if he did it, right, what next? Someone says we’ll set off a dirty bomb unless Obama does a shit- BOB Sorry Warouq, got to cut you off there, apologies for the language ladies and gentlemen; now on line three it’s Sam, hi Sam...

SCENE OMITTED

32 *

SCENE OMITTED

33 *

INT. STUDIO - DAY 1

34 *

Callett is surveying the scene in front of him. Jon is * standing still in position behind someone else who is on all * fours, as though mimicking a pig. NB no ‘thrusting’ motions. * On the other side of the studio is a man standing roughly in * position against a large sheet of green fabric. * CALLET stands behind Noel -- upon Noel’s laptop we see an * image of Jon with the other man’s head mapped onto it. * CALLETT * Confident? * NOEL * Bit of a kick bollock scramble but * with finessing it should work. * CALLETT * Then finesse quickly. Our * ‘performer’ is on his way. *

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 27.

EXT. BANKSIDE STUDIOS - DAY 1

An official-looking car pulls to a halt outside the TV complex. A waiting officer opens the rear door. Out steps a humourless besuited civil servant called BROWNE, closely followed by a rather goonish-looking lanky man in his early forties, with longish hair and a gold necklace. He’s Colin Flynn, better known by his ‘screen name’ ROD SENSELESS. A porn star ala Ben Dover, in mid-conversation with BROWNE. A one-sided talk: BROWNE is trying to ignore him. ROD

It’s a new one for me, obviously, cos it’s illegal. I wouldn’t normally, y’know. Have you seen my stuff? BROWNE No. ROD Well I’m pretty trad. Bish bash bosh. I’d say no fannying about, but I’d be lying.

That usually gets a laugh. Not now. ROD (CONT’D)

Yeah, well. What do I put on the invoice, that’s what I’m wondering? BROWNE (trying not to sigh) There won’t be any invoicing. During this last exchange, a SPARK unloading equipment from * his truck spots Rod, and holds up a cameraphone. * SPARK * Oy oy Rod! Rod does a cheeky thumbs up as the spark take a snap -- * BROWNE impatiently hurries him toward the entrance. The pedestrian walks off, fiddling with his phone...

SCENE OMITTED

37 *

SCENE OMITTED

38 *

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 28.

38A

INT. UKN NEWS STUDIO. DAY 1. 38A * Full screen on UKN as Lucinda Towne chairs a debate between * MEHDI RAHBOUD, a surprisingly youthful professor of Middle * Eastern Studies and SIR HAROLD MOUNT, former counter- * terrorism head. * SIR HAROLD (V.O.) * I can't think of anything even * remotely similar to this - it's an * entirely new form of terrorism (the * point of which I can't begin to * understand) * MEHDI * If this is terrorism it's not * Islamist in nature. To request a * pig is -- (specifically abhorrent * to) * SIR HAROLD * That's the point; making love to a * pig on live television would be the * ultimate humiliation -- (for a * Prime Minister) *

INT. UKN NEWS GALLERY - CONTINUOUS. DAY 1.

39 *

MARTIN

“Making love”? MARTIN and SHELLY are monitoring the debate from the gallery, * SHELLY speaks into Lucinda’s earpiece * SHELLY Steer them away from the grisly details. On the screen Lucinda’s eyes indicate ‘OK’. *

INT. UKN NEWS STUDIO - DAY 1

Lucinda interrupts the chat about pig-sex. LUCINDA

* * * * * *

(interrupting)

Without dwelling on details, this is a huge national talking point, and isn't that precisely what whoever is behind this wants?

INT. HOSPITAL CASUALTY AREA - DAY 1

41 *

Brian, Pike, Lauren are watching the debate

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 29.

LAUREN Would they use a female pig? PIKE (nodding) It’s on the list.

Lauren looks a bit blank. BRIAN

The list of rules at the end of the video. Specifies camera angles and everything. PIKE Like Dogme 95. BRIAN (exasperated) It’s not like Dogme 95. PIKE It’s exactly like it! LAUREN What’s Dogme 95? BRIAN

A cinematic movement. PIKE Lars Von Trier. LAUREN Oh. That means nothing to her. Oh Vienna. BRIAN

A list of rules for directors; nae background music, only use natural light and so on. LAUREN To save electricity? PIKE (for a laugh) Yeah. BRIAN (exasperatedly cutting him off) For authenticity. PIKE (to Brian) Same as these rules.

(MORE)

It’s so they can’t cheat it. Intercut some other guy’s arse pumping away. BRIAN It’s nae the same. PIKE Still about authenticity. BRIAN It’s nae the same! PIKE (shrugging) Authenticity. By now, on screen, UKN News are running a poll: Should the PM honour the demand? 86% say no. Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 30. PIKE (CONT'D)

* *

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 31.

* *

INT. DOWNING STREET BRIEFING ROOM - DAY 1 44 * The Prime Minister paces, mulling over his conversation with * the Queen with ALEX. TOM is in the corner, checking his * Blackberry. * In the background WALKER and JULIAN are approached by a young * computer analyst called JAMIE. * MICHAEL * “I trust you’ll do everything in * your power to get her back.” * That’s what she said. * ALEX * And we are. * MICHAEL * It wasn’t a collective ‘you’, it * was a singular ‘you’, i.e. me. * ALEX * I’m sure it was universal. * MICHAEL * Easy to be confident when it’s not * you. * Suddenly WALKER calls over from the other side of the room. * WALKER * Sir we may have something. * MICHAEL and ALEX come over. TOM looks up. JAMIE looks a tad * nervous when the PM approaches -- he is the Prime Minister * after all. * WALKER (CONT’D) * Jamie’s been tracing the video’s * origin. * MICHAEL * I thought it was untraceable. * JAMIE * Technically yeah but so I thought * ‘work with what we know’... and * that video, okay, before YouTube * compression it was 57.3 meg. * MICHAEL gives her a blanker-than-blank look. *

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 31A.

JAMIE (CONT’D)

* * * * * * *

Algorithm. Boring. Anyway we also know it was uploaded at 3.16am.

JAMIE (CONT’D)

So I ran a nationwide traceback on uninterrupted one-way up loads of precisely 57.3 meg in the minutes leading up to 3.16... And...

* She hits a key. On screen -- a Google Earth style aerial view * showing an area in Buckinghamshire. * JAMIE (CONT’D) * Closest I can get is a postcode. * But it came from somewhere in * there. * MICHAEL leans in. Studies it closely. * WALKER * (tapping screen) * Looks like a campus. * Could we see from the reverse so we don’t need to worry about * what’s on the laptop from hereon in? * Jamie hits a few keys. * JAMIE * Yes. Closed 2010 and it’s been * empty since. * WALKER * Latest EYESAT image for this area? * She taps a few more keys * JAMIE * 3am flyover shot from last night... * looks like it had lights on. *

(MORE)

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 32. JAMIE (CONT'D)

MICHAEL

* * * * *

(looking at screen)

We’ve got him...

(to ALEX, delighted)

We’ve got him!

ALEX smiles. Perhaps not 100% convinced.

WALKER

(to JAMIE)

* * * * *

Alert the local team

(to JULIAN)

We’ll head out now. Full squad,

I’ll man it.

JULIAN

(to WALKER) -- with helmet cam relay. (to MICHAEL) We can watch the operation

* * *

downstairs in press - okay with you

Tom?

Tom nods. Of course it is.

MICHAEL

Okay.

(to WALKER)

Good luck.

WALKER

Yes sir. He turns on his heel. Michael allows himself a small victory punch. This is the first chink of light today. He grins at * Tom and Alex. * END OF PART TWO * 45 In the background, some techies are hooking up a plasma * screen to accommodate a feed from the operatives in the * field. Tom Bilce breezes in. * TOM INT. DOWNING STREET PRESS OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER. DAY 1.

Need to prep two statements on the rescue operation. Good outcome / bad outcome. CAMILLA Rescue operation? Tom sits at his desk and fires up his laptop. He gestures vaguely at the plasma screen the techies are setting up.

* *

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 33.

TOM Goon squad’s heading for “a postcode” in Buckinghamshire. Andrew’s ears prick up. But not as much as Camilla’s: CAMILLA What postcode? My mum’s in Buckinghamshire. TOM (looking at Blackberry) BA9 6CV... a college or something. Camilla grunts. That’s not it. Meanwhile ANDREW surreptitiously gets his Blackberry ready -- starts tapping. *

INT. UKN NEWS CORRIDOR. - DAY 1

46 *

MALAIKA, walking down a corridor. Her phone pings. She

smiles.

INT. DOWNING STREET PRESS OFFICE - DAY 1 47 Andrew’s blackberry buzzes. He looks: a photo of Malaika -- this time topless, covering her breasts with one arm. Beneath it, a message: ‘Thank you’. * Andrew looks around -- Tom is busy typing a statement - and allows himself a tiny smile. *

SCENE OMITTED

EXT. BUCKINGHAMSHIRE FOREST - DAY 1 50 Walker and an impressive group of SOCA members (in camo) are lurking behind some trees. Checking out their target. WALKER * is also using a small scope. * WALKER * Gotcha. * (passes scope to another * grunt) * Board’s been prised away. That’s * where he got in. * WALKER turns round to address one of the SOCA grunts.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 33A.

WALKER (CONT’D) Okay target identified. Assault team red, have spotted possible entry point. Any orders sir?

* * *

But WALKER’s not talking to him. He’s talking to a camera attached to the SOCA grunt’s helmet. Because this is all being watched by...

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 34.

INT. DOWNING STREET PRESS OFFICE - DAY 1 51 * JULIAN, adjusting a head mic, watching the plasma screen with * the live feed from the soldier’s headcam. The room now resembles the room in which Barack Obama and co watched the storming of Bin Laden’s compound. Generals. Laptops. * Advisors. All glued to the screen. * JULIAN If he gets wind we’re there, she’s * at severe risk; keep assembling and * keep quiet. * INT. DOWNING STREET BEDROOM - DAY 1 52 Jane is sitting at a dresser. A baby’s milk bottle is on the * dresser. Offscreen we hear a baby crying. Her laptop is open - * - she’s supposed to be working -- but is instead browsing Twitter using the third-party application Tweetdeck. A flurry of tweets. Concern for the princess. Conspiracy theories - is it a ‘False Flag’ operation? Sardonic one-liner gags from celebrity comics. Jokes about how he’s already screwed the country. The hashtag ‘SNOUTRAGE’. And these are the jollier comments. There are tweets joking the PM will catch Pig AIDS and die. Forum debates over which orifice he’ll enter. Tweets which say fucking a pig would be preferable to fucking his wife. The raw cruelty of the net. She can’t stop reading it.

EXT. BANKSIDE STUDIOS - DAY 1

Establishing shot.

INT. STUDIO - DAY 1 54 BROWNE arrives with ROD SENSELESS. They approach CALLETT BROWNE Agent Callett, this is Mister Flynn ROD (extending hand) AKA Rod Senseless. Stage name. Callett’s not returning the handshake. ROD (CONT’D) (sniffing slightly) Yeah, well. Callett hands him a suit: a replica of one of the PM’s.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 35.

CALLETT You need to get into this. ROD There a dressing room I can use? CALLETT No. Rod, unfazed, kicks off his shoes and starts getting changed. ROD

Where’s my co-star? Rude not to at least give her a kiss beforehand. CALLETT (coldly) Outside. In the truck. ROD Her own trailer! Who’s doing her hair? Vidal Sassoon? He doesn’t answer. Rod talks to Noel instead. ROD (CONT’D) Full of joie de vivre innee? He turns back to Callett. ROD (CONT’D)

“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.” Francis Bacon.

Beat.

ROD (CONT’D) Bacon? No? Fuckin’ hell, tough crowd. Callett holds out the green ping-pong-ball facemask. CALLETT You also need to wear this. Rod examines it. ROD You’re sick, d’you know that? He pulls on the facemask, laughing.

INT. DOWNING STREET BRIEFING ROOM - DAY 1

55 *

The PM has opened some French windows for a crafty fag, * blowing smoke out the window to avoid setting off an alarm. *

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 36.

Tom Bilce approaches; the PM’s face indicates that he knows * he shouldn’t be smoking but is going to anyway. * TOM Have they gone in yet? MICHAEL Think I’d be here if they had? * TOM

I’ve got statements for either outcome. Listen. The coverage is very sympath--

Michael holds a hand up.

MICHAEL I can’t think about coverage now. TOM Of course. Although of course Michael is thinking about it now.

MICHAEL But it’s on-side? TOM Strong undercurrent of sympathy. Every poll indicates public understanding; disgust with the captor, outrage at the whole thing, but not at you.

Tom checks no-one’s listening.

TOM (CONT’D) (lowered voice, indicating operation room)

Fact is, if Walker’s team fuck up -- not that they will but if they do -- the public anticipate non-

compliance from us. There’d be squawks from the ‘usuals’ but... It’s not ‘England Expects’. (even lower voice) If he kills her, there’s no blood on your hands. Bottom line. Michael thinks about that. He flicks the remains of his cigarette out the window, pats Tom on the shoulder.

* * * * *

MICHAEL

(indicating window)

Close that will you?

Michael returns to his desk.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 37.

INT. UKN NEWS GALLERY - DAY 1 56 Onscreen, an attractive ACTRESS is burbling away about how the Princess might be coping while Lucinda nods meaningfully. In the gallery, MARTIN regards her with scorn. MARTIN Where do I know twinkletits from? SHELLY Actress. Downton Abbey. She knows the Princess. Martin looks unimpressed. Before he can finish sighing, JACK, the researcher, walks in with a small box. Approaches Martin. JACK This came for you. Left at reception. Martin looks at the box. It’s a small parcel about the size of a sunglasses case. It’s got his name neatly printed on it, and the word ‘URGENT’. MARTIN Feels cold. (unwrapping it) Any idea where it’s from? JACK (shaking head) Courier must’ve dropped it off. He removes the outer layer. Inside is a box. It is a spectacles case. Taped to it is a small USB key with the words WATCH ME painted on it in neat lettering. He passes this to SHELLY, who immediately plugs it into a laptop. Meanwhile MARTIN looks at the spectacles case, now very curious indeed. He flips it open. His face recoils with instant disgust. MARTIN Ugh! He almost drops it. Shelly stands up. Instant hubbub. Martin puts the case on the gallery desk. It contains crushed ice, glistening like diamonds and a severed finger. With nail varnish and a very distinctive ring on it. SHELLY Oh Jesus, that ring, is that..? Martin nods, with his hand over his mouth so he won’t puke. MARTIN (to assistant) Call the police.

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 38.

SHELLY (pointing at finger) Someone shoot that first.

She clicks on the laptop with the USB key in it. We see the finder window. There is one file on the USB stick. It’s called PLAYME.MOV. She double clicks it. Up pops a window. Black screen. Then some stark white text. A caption reading: I GAVE YOU RULES. I SAID NO CHEATING. Which is then replaced by ROD SENSELESS? PLEASE. SHELLY (CONT’D) What does that mean? Martin goes to open his mouth but thinks better of it. The caption is replaced by SHE PAYS THE PRICE. COMPLY OR IT WORSENS. It abruptly cuts to a shot of the Princess tied to the chair. Her hands are tied behind her back. She is gagged and * screaming. SHELLY (CONT’D) Oh shit... A man with a sack on his head, wearing gloves, is behind the * princess -- he has done something to make her scream... then * he holds a recently severed finger to the lens. Shelly almost * pukes. So does Martin.

SCENE OMITTED

57 *

57A

INT. ELECTRICAL SHOWROOM - DAY 1

57A *

We’re in a huge branch of Dixons or Curry’s. A wall of whopping great brand new plasma screens all tuned to UKN News -- just as a huge BREAKING NEWS strap whooshes onto the screen. * Our NHS gang are watching part of the finger-severing video * being shown on UKN News. INT. HOSPITAL CASUALTY AREA - DAY

Black Mirror 'The National Anthem' - Pink Script - 1/8/2011 - 39.

LAUREN Oh God, I can’t watch this. LUCINDA (V.O.) The rest of the recording is too graphic for us to broadcast: it depicts the kidnapper brandishing the Princess's severed finger at the camera... UKN News has passed all material to Scotland Yard who are believed to be subjecting the finger to DNA testing immediately. That’s proper grim. It’s got to stop, he’s got to do what they want. BRIAN Who, Callow? (looking back at the screen) Yes he fucking has.

* * * * * * * *

Lauren is shielding her eyes. LAUREN

INT. DOWNING STREET BRIEFING ROOM - DAY 1

58 *

In ALEX’s office, MICHAEL, TOM and ALEX gaze at the news. TOM Jesus. Michael is silent. He breathes. But he can’t keep down this boiling water. He does his best to contain himself. MICHAEL (quiet calm rage) Alex doesn’t want to speak. But must. ALEX I considered it necessary to-- MICHAEL ‘considered it necessary’... ALEX ... to devise a contingency p-- Without warning Michael picks the laptop up and violently hurls it against the wall. Alex jumps slightly. Unless I’m mistaken our mystery man specified no visual trickery in the original demand didn’t he?

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