Relationships
ADHD can affect relationships in many ways. Your partner/ family or friend may think that you are doing things like forgetting appointments and not listening on purpose. People may misinterpret your behaviours as irresponsible, lazy and disorganised, selfish or uncaring. You may find yourself saying ‘sorry I’m late… again’, ‘I don’t know where the time went’, ‘I forgot’, ‘I got caught up’. • Both of you learning about ADHD is really important. Your family or friend may find that this helps them to understand your behaviour rather than taking it personally. • It is important to communicate about the difficulties that you are having. Although there may be a lot of shame and embarrassment about these difficulties, the more that you can communicate about what is realistic for you the better understanding you will build and the more you will be able to work together.
• Work together and try to work towards the same goals
• Although it is important to try to develop skills to help yourself manage it is also OK to rely on someone else (as long as it’s OK with them). Your family member or friend may not mind sending you a text to remind you of an appointment, writing things on a calendar or setting an alarm in good time for you to catch a train. Often if people understand why you are asking for their help and what you think would be helpful they don’t mind helping out. • At times people can find that they hyper-focus on certain activities, this can make others feel ignored, forgotten and unimportant. If you explain when this happens to you and what may be the best way to interrupt you or how long to leave you to do this activity, this may help your family member or friend feel less ignored or unimportant.
• If you find that you are always talking over people or blurting things out try chewing gum or at least recognise when this is happening.
• Talk to people about the best times to get and hold your attention, e.g. particular environments, times of day, when you are not doing something else.
DEVON ADULT AUTISM AND ADHD SERVICE 18
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