Pride Villager
Issue #9 Fall 2022
Storytime went live in June. Just over 1000 kids and their caregivers have taken part of in-person Drag Storytimes at: Rainbow Optimist Club presents Drag Storytime
• Ingersoll Library • Tillsonburg Library • Woodstock Public Library • Stratford-Perth Pride Family Day • St. Thomas Elgin EarlyOn Children’s Festival • Dorchester Library • London Public Library, Wolf Performance Hall • Wortley Pride in Wortley Village • Horton Farmers Market, St, Thomas • St Marys Public Library, St. Marys • Crouch Block Party, London • Harbour Merchant Coffee Company, Port Stanley • Stratford Pride Centre, Stratford There are more in-person Drag Storytimes in the works. A list is available on the Rainbow Optimist website under Drag Storytime. www.rainbowoptimistclub.com The virtual Drag Storytime started up again on Friday, September 9th at 10:00 am, then will continue once a month. Since January 2022 the virtual Drag Storytimes have been viewed on YouTube and Facebook well over 16,000 times. The virtual Drag Storytimes are shared on Optimist International Facebook page which goes out to Optimist members around the world.
Support Hotlines Open Closet
Open Closet is a safe space and free drop-in or telephone social support group for youth between 14 and 18 years of age who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, two-spirit, queer or questioning their sexual orientation and/or gender identity (LGBT2Q+). Open Closet serves Perth, Huron, Lambton, Elgin, Middlesex and Oxford Counties from 9am to 5pm, Monday-Friday. Call Toll Free: 1-866-920-1601 Kids Help Phone Canada’s only toll-free, 24-hour, bilingual & anonymous phone counselling, web counselling & referral service for children & youth. The service is completely anonymous & confidential – we don’t trace calls, we don’t have call display. You don’t even have to tell us your name if you don’t want to. Ready to talk? Call or text today. Call Toll Free: 1-800-668-6868 or text 686868 www.kidshelpphone.ca LGBT Youth Line LGBT Youth Line is a 2SLGBTQ+ youth-led organization that affirms and supports the experiences of youth (29 and under) across Ontario. Youth Line offers confidential and non-judgemental peer support through our telephone, text and chat services. Get in touch with a peer support volunteer from Sunday to Friday, 4:00am to 9:30pm. Call 1-800-268-9688 or text 647-694-4275 www.YouthLine.ca Reach Out Reach Out is a free, 24/7, confidential mental health and addictions support and services line for people living in Elgin, Middlesex and Oxford and London. If you need mental health and addictions help, contact us. Call 1-866-933-2023 or text 519-433-2023 or connect through web chat at www.reachout247.ca Trans Life Line Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support phone service run by trans people for our trans and questioning peers. Call us if you need someone trans to talk to, even if you’re not in crisis or if you’re not sure you’re trans. The hotline is open 24/7. Call 1-877-330-6366 www.translifeline.org
The goal of the Rainbow Optimist Club - Southwestern Ontario is to better the lives of LGBT2Q+ rural youth, their families and their communities in the Counties of Elgin, Middlesex and Oxford. Facebook: www.Facebook.com/RainbowOptimistClub Instagram: rainbowoptimistclub Twitter: @rainbow0ptimist Email: rainbowoptimist@gmail.com Website: www.RainbowOptimistClub.com
PRIDE Villager
Issue 9 • Fall 2022 Page 2
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Free Transportation to Mental Health Support for Youth To help individuals aged 16-25 living in rural Middlesex County access mental health and addiction support, the Road to Mental Health (RMH) program was established and offers free taxi services to and from the Mental Health and Addictions Crisis Centre in London for youth in crisis who reside in rural northwest Middlesex (focused on Lucan, Parkhill, Strathroy, Exeter and neighbouring communities). If you are a youth living northwest Middlesex and require transportation to your mental health related appointments, please contact your mental health organization to see if they provide free rides with RMH. As an essential health care service, RMH is always open and operational for those in need. RMH is made possible through support from St. Joseph’s Healthcare Foundation (London, Ontario) and local donors, and the partnership between MINDS of London-Middlesex, CMHA Elgin- Middlesex, Star Taxi, and the Lucan and Parkhill Public Libraries. How to Access 1. Individuals in need connect with Reach Out via phone, text or webchat at 519-433-2023 or www.reachout247.ca.* 2. The Reach Out worker will assess the individual’s situation and if needed, they will connect them with a ride to the Crisis Centre via Star Taxi. 3. Upon their arrival, the individual will receive adequate care and support, which could include assessment, supportive counselling and/or referrals to other services. *If you are under the age of 16, please contact Tandem for 24/7 support where a trained professional can connect you with a ride to mental health and/or addiction support through RMH.
Oxford County Pride by Tami Murray , President, Oxford Pride Committee Oxford County Pride Com-mittee was elated to be back to hosting in person events! Beginning with
community flag raisings throughout the County June 1st. The past couple of years have been challenging for the 2SLGBTQAI+ community. Issues of isolation, lack of resources and increased incidents of homophobia in our community were prevalent. These acts of violence have reinforced the need to increase 2SLGBTQAI+ community supports in Oxford County. Moving forward we continue to be committed to advocate, educate and participate in community connections and conversations. The Pride team was happy to celebrate our partnership with the Woodstock Museum presenting the “Samples of the ArQuives’ National Portrait Collection”. Drag Storytime was co-hosted by Woodstock, Ingersoll and Tillsonburg Libraries, in conjunction with the Rainbow Optimist Club. Oxford Pride family day was full of fun activities, 2SLGBTQAI+ entertainment and community vendors. We were super excited to announce our partnership with Upper Thames Brewery Co. as they co-hosted the Oxford Pride 90’s Karaoke after party June 18, 2022. The pride team is thankful for “100 Women in Oxford Who Care” for their donation which has enabled us to bring a progress flag crosswalk to downtown Ingersoll May 2022. It continues to be our goal to ensure a progress flag crosswalk is in every community throughout Oxford County. The pride Oxford Pride Committee is dedicated to celebrating diversity, promote inclusion and creating a safer community for all to live and play in Oxford County.
Free transportation to and from mental health support in London for youth ages 16-25 who live in Northwest Middlesex county (includes Lucan, Parkhill, Strathroy, Exeter and surrounding areas). Free transportation to and from mental health support in London for youth ages 16-25 who live in Northwest Middlesex county (includes Lucan, Parkhill, Strathroy, Exeter and surrounding areas). Free transportation to and from mental health support in London for youth ages 16-25 who live in Northwest Middlesex county (includes Lucan, Parkhill, Strathroy, Exeter and surrounding areas).
PRIDE Villager
Issue 9 • Fall 2022 Page 3 To advertise here, please contact Barb@VillagerPublications.com
The Importance of Listening Wanted: A good listener! by Paula Jesty
Family
Congratulations! You found your Life Partner! by Rev. Laurie Nevin It would be a total honour to perform your Wedding Ceremony! As an Ordained Metaphysical Minister from Pathways of Light, I am also a professional member of the Canadian International Metaphysical Ministry. This allows me to be a Registered Minister within the Province of Ontario. I perform customized non-traditional weddings. The ceremony is a symbol and expression of your Love to one another. It’s a way to say to all the people watching and those present in Spirit... “we REALLY Love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together.” That being said, the wedding day is ultimately for the two of you. So, my specialty as a minister is to keep that at the forefront of planning the ceremony. As a helpful guide to capturing all the details to make your ‘special day’ amazing. isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile & who LOVE YOU no matter what.
The world needs more listeners. Everyone feels better when they are listened to. When was the last time somebody really listened to what you had to say? When’s the last time you sat quietly and listened intently to what someone was telling you? Really listened. Without checking your phone. Without thinking of what you would say when they stopped talking. Without letting your mind wander to what you need to pick up at the store, or who you should call about the weekend. When was the last time you gave someone your undivided attention and listened to what they were telling you? We live in a lonely world. We have hundreds of friends a click away, yet loneliness is on the rise. We are all working so hard to keep up that we are forgetting the importance of our closest relationships. We are all forgetting to listen. Listening is how we learn. It’s the cornerstone of our closest relationships and it’s how we build trust. It helps us feel connected, understood and it bridges the gaps that often lead to conflict. Being listened to is sometimes the best medicine for a bad day, a difficult situation or hurt feelings to mend. Having someone listen to you can validate you, give you the strength to keep going and make you feel like you belong. Maybe we all need to make more time for listening. Even if we’re tired, worn out, especially if we are feeling alone. Take the time to listen. Being curious might be just what we need to feel better. Take the time to learn about someone. Find out what makes them tick. See if you can discover what you have in common and also learn from their differences. Listening is just as good for the listener as it is for the person being listened to.
Want to make someone’s day? Listen to them. Want to expand your understanding? Listen. Want to be a better friend? Listen
Want to adjust the way you think, be more a peace with yourself and deepen your connection with the world around you? Listen, listen, Listen. The world needs more listeners.
For more information on all services, please visit www.lifenavigator.ca • laurie@lifenavigator.ca
“Let’s Talk Love”
PRIDE Villager
Page 4 Issue 9 • Fall 2022
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Pride in the Park – Thames Centre’s First Pride by Katy D’Angelo This past July, the municipality of Thames Centre held it’s very first Pride celebration. It was a beautiful day, starting off with Drag Storytime at the Dorchester Library, sponsored by Rainbow Optimist Club – Southwestern Ontario and Middlesex Library, where children and their families, could make crafts and then hear stories about acceptance, self-love, and celebrating differences. This was followed by celebrations in the Dorchester Park, geared to families, and people across the lifespan. There were presentations by our elected officials, poetry reading students from the Gay Straight Alliance club and educational talk by Intersex London, in addition to sidewalk art, a pride photo shoot, food booths, and activities for kids.
The idea for pride in our rural community was born out of a recognition that there are LGBTQ2S+ youth in our community who do not feel safe coming out to those around them. Likewise, there are older adults who fought hard to come out to their social and professional circles, only to be forced back into the closet when
I leave you with some reflections from Amanda Saunders, one of our committee members proposed the idea of Pride: Pride in the Park – Dorchester’s first Pride festival! • I saw you. I saw you bravely arrive with your family, your partner, your friends, yourself. You rode your bike, drove your car, walked, pushed your walker, and were pushed in a stroller. • I saw you with your Pride shirt on, a fantastic outfit, your pins on your shirt - and you were perfect. • I saw your tears fall when you heard the statistic that Trans Black Women in the USA have a life expectancy of 35 years old. • I saw your joy when your child was so happy with their friends – feeling safe and loved. • I saw your discomfort - wondering who you might see and what opinions might be shared about your choices and your life. • I saw your bravery, your courage, your joy – I heard your laughter, your voice, your poems. • I saw you and I was seen. I felt your love and sent mine to you. Energy works in magical ways and we are so grateful you came out to our first Pride in the Park!
they enter residential care. With these marginalized populations in mind, we set out with the modest goal to increase visibility, and engaging these groups in planning, and offer a Pride celebration that represents them groups and is welcoming to all.
We heard from many, how wonderful the celebrations were, with an interest to be involved and contribute. We are looking forward to expanding Pride in Thames Centre in coming years and learning from our LGBTQ2S+ community what would be most supportive to them.
DISCOVER
Questions?
our GRASSROUTES
Contact YOUR Member of Parliament 519.663.9777 Peter Fragiskatos.ca
PRIDE Villager
Page 5 Issue 9 • Fall 2022 To advertise here, please contact Barb@VillagerPublications.com
Recommended Reading
Middlesex County Library ADULT Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky If you’re in the mood for a light and fluffy rom-com, Never Been Kissed is the novel for you. Wren Roland is a 20-something movie buff and recent college graduate who has never been kissed. While working as a manager at Wiley’s Drive-In, he tries to save the establishment from closure. The drama gets kicked up a notch when Wren decides to send out emails to all the
London Public Library ADULT The Death of Vivek Oji by Akwaeke Emezi
Southeastern Nigeria. Raised by a distant father and an understanding but overprotective mother, Vivek suffers disorienting blackouts, moments of disconnection between self and surroundings. As adolescence gives way to adulthood, Vivek finds solace in friendships with the boisterous daughters of the Nigerwives, foreign-
boys he has loved. The excitement builds when Derick Haverford, a former crush and email recipient, starts working at Wiley’s drive- in with Wren. Kirkus Reviews describes Never Been Kissed as a mix of All the Boys I’ve Loved Before meets Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda. Will Wren receive his movie-perfect ending? YOUNG ADULT Only on the Weekends by Dean Atta
born women married to Nigerian men. But Vivek’s closest bond is with Osita, the worldly, high-spirited cousin whose teasing confidence masks a guarded private life. As their relationship deepens, an act of violence leads to a family’s struggle with loss and transcendence. FAMILY Bathe the Cat by Alice B. McGinty Illustrated by David Roberts Cats + water: What could go wrong? This riotous romp of a picture book follows a frantic family as they try to get some chores done—with no help from the family cat, who keeps scrambling the list of chores to hilarious effect. Get ready for a rollicking read-aloud with a truly purrfect ending.
Stonewall Award-winning author Dean Atta, crafts a beautiful novel in verse that explores the roller coaster of emotions of first love. In this coming-of-age novel, we meet Mack, a Black British 15 year- old of Nigerian Yoruba descent who has experienced a very non-traditional childhood of growing up on his father’s film sets. As a result, Mack is a hopeless romantic on a path of self-discovery. This
novel explores the difficulties of hiding relationships, working through insecurities, managing long-distance relationships and ultimately discovering love can be something completely unexpected.
Chosen Family Tell me your story and I’ll tell you mine, I’m all ears, take your time, we’ve got all night Show me the rivers crossed, the mountains scaled, show me who made you walk all the way here Ooh, settle down, put your bags down Ooh, you’re alright now We don’t need to be related to relate, we don’t need to share genes or a surname You are, you are, my chosen, chosen family So what if we don’t look thе same? We been going through the samе thing, You are, you are, my chosen, chosen family
Hand me a pen and I’ll rewrite the pain, when you’re ready, we’ll turn the page together Open a bottle, it’s time we celebrate, who you were, who you are, we’re one and the same We don’t need to be related to relate, we don’t need to share genes or a surname You are, you are, my chosen, chosen family So what if we don’t look the same? We been going through the same thing You are, you are my chosen, chosen family I chose you, you chose me. I chose Chosen family, I chose you, you chose me. we’re alright now We don’t need to be related to relate, we don’t need to share genes or a surname You are, you are, my chosen, chosen family So what if we don’t look the same? We been going through the same pain, yeah You are, you are my chosen, chosen family We don’t need to be related to relate, we don’t need to share genes or a surname You are, you are my chosen, chosen family
Performed by Elton John and Rina Sawayama Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Jonny Lattimer / Rina Sawayama / Danny L. Harle Chosen Family lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Ltd., Covered Infinities Ltd
PRIDE Villager
Page 6 Issue 9 • Fall 2022
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Call it Intuition by Nikita Miller
Prism by Amanda Symth Life can often seem lonely for youth who identify within the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, especially in a small place like Oxford County. It may seem overwhelming and feel isolating. Sometimes, their friends and family are just unsure of how to support them. Big Brothers Big Sisters of Oxford County’s PRISM (Pride, Respect, Identity, Safety and Mentoring) program offers youth that extra support; the opportunity to build their village with both peers and adult mentors who identify in the queer community. Through group and one to one programming, youth can fill their world with support, connections, and people who love and accept them for their amazing and perfect selves. Youth who are in the program talk about
I
had been contemplating surro- gacy for a while. After donating eggs to families in France, Australia, and Ontario I came across a post of a beautiful family looking for a surrogate. I instantly knew I wanted to help a family like them. After declining several families proposed by my agency, I took to Facebook and initiated my own search. I came across THE family that made me want to sign up in the first place. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized they were a real family looking for
how nice it is to be surrounded by people just like them and how just being around other 2SLGBTQIA+ identifying people, makes the world feel a little less lonely. Adult mentors in the PRISM program are offered the opportunity to be the person they needed when they were younger. They get to be a big kid, have fun, laugh, learn, share their experiences and support these incredible youths in navigating their gender and/or sexuality journeys. One to one matches spend a couple of hours together, once a week, appreciating each other’s company, exploring the world around them, getting involved in community and having fun participating in activities that the match enjoys doing together. Matches have gone to baseball games, snow tubing, golfing, bike rides, played video games, tried new foods, all while building life changing mentoring relationships. Group matches have a blast creating connection while doing activities like karate, dance, bowling, archery, horseback riding, arts and crafts and so many other fun adventures. BBBSOC has many amazing 2SLGBTQIA+ youth waiting to be matched with an adult mentor who wants to help ignite their power and potential. Apply today, your experience can mean the world to someone else! Or: Apply to be a mentee and meet other incredible 2SLGBTQ+ people who may have a good idea about what you may be dealing with as a youth! Apply at bbbsoxford.ca or email amanda.smyth@ bigbrothersbigsisters.ca for more information. “Having a 2SLBTQ+ mentor makes me feel like I’m not the only one and I’m not alone.” PRISM Mentee
a real surrogate. I watched their wedding slideshow through an entirely different lens; it was no longer admiration from a distance, I felt hope and possibility. I found myself laughing, crying, and I was so overwhelmed with the depths of love that I saw. I fell in love with Liam and Chris, a same sex couple from Australia. I instantly chose them. When I presented them to my agency, I was told that they had experienced some heartache and had taken a step back. I understood but my heart was theirs. I wrote a letter sharing information about me, my family, my motivations, and my desire to work with them. I asked the agency to give it to them only if they felt it would be a sign of hope. If they felt it would harm them, I asked them to hold on to it until they were ready to come back and then they could let them know a surrogate was ready. I was perfectly content waiting for this family. After pressuring my contact, I was told they were ‘given permission’ to match us. The information never lined up and my family shared that they never took a step back. I have my suspicions on what happened, but that’s a story for another day. I fought, we matched, and upon e-meeting, I instantly knew my instincts were right. We chose each other. Before embarking on our journey, my son and I flew to Australia to meet them and their people. We got to witness the love from the photos, in real life. During that trip, their people chose me back. After many hormones, and failed embryo transfers, we decided to try traditional surrogacy. In September 2019, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl at home. Liam, Chris, and I were surrounded by nine of my people and their 1-year-old son. 13 human beings chose each other in those wee hours of the night. In the four weeks after, this beautiful, new family of four stayed in my home. Their parents came to visit from Australia, and they had the opportunity to meet all of my people here. This experience brought so many of us together. We learned, we cried, we laughed, and we grew. Our lives will forever be changed, for the better
Meet one of BBBS’ new PRISM matches – Elizabeth and Maera! These two have SO much in common and had an instant connection from the moment they met. Their match introduction was full of smiles and laughs.
PRIDE Villager
Page 7 Issue 9 • Fall 2022
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My Family, My Choice by Reverend Nicholas C. Wilhelm aka Mrs. Chasity Cage
Where do I begin? I guess in many ways my life has led me to where I am today. My name is Reverend Nicholas C. Wilhelm, or you may know me as Mrs. Chastity Cage. I am a bearded drag Queen who happens to be married and live a quaint little life in London adjacent. My husband and I own a beautiful home with our sweet Corgi pup named Riker. We chose to not have children because of our lifestyle, travel and being the amazing “guncles” we are to our nephew and soon to be niece. Children just were not in our cards. Riker however was, and I don’t regret it! Ever since I was a child, I never fit in. I was always a bit too feminine, a bit too dramatic, and a bit too tall and awkward. I was made fun of a lot in school. I am originally from Point Pelee, but grew up in Ingersoll. We all know small towns are not easy to grow up in. It probably didn’t help that I was half native and half German! Often the terms “Nazi Squaw” would be used as i walked down the hallways at school. Kids would raise their hands in a Nazi salute and then limp their wrists as I walked past. Kids would put a feather over their head and make derogatory noises while saying “ how how how gay are you” Kids are kids. My feelings were hurt many times over, I cried many tears. Needless to say, high-school was tough for me. It was even harder that I was not out to my family. I truly confided in one of my teachers, her name was Ms. Doxtader, I don’t know why I chose her to be my confidant, but looking back she wasn’t my best choice. She was very traditional and probably didn’t share the same values as I do in life in general. However, she was there for me, every step of the way. I was failing her class but I was passing life with her beside me. Until the day I was outed, not given the chance to come out, OUTED! By my brother at that. I don’t blame him he was a kid. He had seen emails on ICQ from my first boyfriend at summer camp, yes, I’m that old that I said ICQ. My brother shared that with my parents and my entire family one faithful Easter dinner. That Easter I was the one persecuted and nailed to a cross. From this though I came back stronger and finally able to live my authentic life. Throughout this journey we call life, I have lost and gained, lost more and gained even more family. I have lost the grandparents that would love me, to death and I have lost the other grandparents to ignorance. I lost an aunt because “no man should wear a dress” but I have gained about twenty aunts in all of my mother’s friends. My mother, when she finally accepted herself, has been an inspiration for me. That is not my story to tell, but hell that’s a story that needs to be told. I have gained a family at work too, in my bosses’ words. . . “We lean on Nick, not just for work issues but for emotional support as well. People turn to him for that emotional support. He offers guidance and advice to anyone who is in need. He has taken on a fatherly role for all of our staff.” I have learned to surround myself with love, and block the hate. The hate is and will always be there, but it only has strength when we allow it. Family is love, and love does not see colour, gender, orientation, or religion. So, surround yourself with love, surround yourself with your chosen family. Love forever Mrs. Chastity Cage
Pride Villager Issue #9 Fall 2022 www.villagerpublications.com
Publisher: Barb Botten, Villager Publications P.O. Box 134, Lambeth Station Ontario N6P 1P9 Managing Editors: Barb Botten, Martin Withenshaw Graphic Artist: Cathy Wood Read past issues of Pride Villager at www.villagerpublications.com
Living together? Make it legal! License your pet. All cats and dogs must be licensed by law. Licensing helps save animals’ lives. • Lost pets are returned home • Helps to fund animal services programs • Homeless pets get adopted
London Animal Care Centre • 121 Pine Valley Blvd, London • www.accpets.ca 519-685-1330 • Facebook.com/LondonAnimalCare Please do you part! Contact us to license your pet London Animal Care Centre • 121 Pine Valley Blvd, London www.accpets.ca 529-685-1330 • Facebook.com/LondonAnimalCare
PRIDE Villager
Issue 9 • Fall 2022 Page 8
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Elgin County Pride Elgin County Pride 2022 started off with a bang and did not disappoint. Saturday, August 6th: the pre-Pride Drag Show Summer Nights had a full house. Monday, August 8th: St. Thomas Pride Flag Raising & Proclamation Reading had just under 40 people attend. Monday, August 8th: West Lorne Pride Celebrations. A flag raising and other festivities took place at the West Elgin Community Health Centre. Tuesday, August 9th: Elgin County Flag Raising & Proclamation Reading. After the flag raising approximately 70 people attended a BBQ. To read the full press release, please visit the following link: https://bit.ly/3vRPII2 Tuesday, August 9th: Drag Queen Bingo was a huge success with another planned. Saturday, August 13th: Pride in the Park Family Day; here is a snapshot of the day: https://youtu.be/Q_aCZWJjbaU Elgin Pride County Pride in the Park Family Day 2022 was a huge success. There were vendors, exhibits, booths, food trucks, entertainment and lots of kid friendly activities. A very big THANK YOU to the sponsors! TD Bank, The City of St. Thomas, Family & Children’s Service, Southwestern Public Health, St. Thomas Public Library, Harbour Merchant Coffee Company, Elgin County, Purely Wicked and St. Thomas Roadhouse. Plans have already started for Elgin County Pride 2023. Mark your calendars: August 7 to 13, 2023. If you would like to sponsor or volunteer, please email rainbowoptimist@gmail.com.
Resources Don’t forget about the Resources Section on the Rainbow Optimist Club website, it includes an extensive list of community organizations, hotlines and crisis support, national organizations and additional resources and links. This list of resources can be found at: www.RainbowOptimistclub.com/resources To find out what’s up: Follow us on Facebook at:
www.Facebook.com/rainbowoptimistclub Follow us on Twitter: @rainbow0ptimist
PRIDE Villager
Page 9 Issue 9 • Fall 2022
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Found Family by Lucas Clay In 2016, the UK video game start-up that I was working for as a concept artist went bust. It wasn’t entirely surprising, given how most start-ups
Wortley Pride Festival – July 2022
end, but it was bad timing. That is how I found myself blindly sending out resumes to any company in London, England I could find, and receiving a reply to one of them with an opener that I didn’t see coming. “You are aware this is for a position in London in Ontario, Canada, not London, England, correct?” Desperate, I responded with one word. “Yes.” I’m sure you’ve heard horror stories about the video game industry and how it can treat marginalized communities. As someone who identifies as transmasc, when I graduated, I realized it would take an especially heavy hammer to shatter that particular glass ceiling. So, to make it in the industry I had trained and taken on student debt for, I did what I had never wanted to do, and I went back in the closet. Put my dead name on resumes, reached for the makeup when I had interviews and entered the industry in what felt like someone else’s skin. It felt easier to smile and nod, rather than have to deal with daily microaggressions. The days of putting pronouns in your email signature were still a few years away. So, Canada. My partner and I had ‘The Talk’. I’d move to the other side of the Atlantic and while I worked on our permanent residency, she’d stay and work in the UK. Easy enough, right? I arrived and soon realized very suddenly that I was alone, in London, Ontario, Canada, with no family and without my partner. Thankfully, the loneliness didn’t last. I was still closeted at work, but a small group of wonderful and largely queer colleagues immediately adopted me as their own. When I came out to them as transmasc, they didn’t miss a beat, and with laughter, affectionate teasing and unwavering support, they became the foundation that kept me going while so far away from home. Without them, I genuinely believe I would have become untethered from my identity in those two years – like being undercover for far too long. My girlfriend, now my wife, came to join me after two years, and my Canadian found family became hers as well. We have adopted three cats and bought a house since then, and that is thanks to the solid foundation they helped us to build. I’m proud to say that I am now in a career and company where my gender identity is not only respected, but understood and embraced. It’s integral to who I am, to my work and creativity, and I’ve been able to share myself openly and without fear. What is a found family? Well, for us, it means finding those who respect and care for you at your core, and who don’t much care what society puts on top of that. In my case, it’s people who respect my transmasculinity, use my he/him pronouns, but are always ready to show up and scream my drag queen name when I perform!
Photo courtesy Jason Plant JasonPlant@mcspiritstudios.ca
PRIDE Villager
Page 10 Issue 9 • Fall 2022
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Welcome to Niko’s with Martin Witenshaw
Dimitra and Aris Moutsatsos immigrated to Canada in 2019. After a brief time in Montreal, they purchased Niko’s Restaurant in Parkhill in 2020 from a friend who had run the restaurant for 30 years.
Aris is a professionally trained Chef who had worked in Greece for 17 years as a Chef at a couple of restaurants and as a personal Chef for a prominent millionaire. Now he is sharing his culinary talents at Niko’s. I had a couple of delightful telephone conversations with Dimitra when she shared the recipe, Greece Chicken Stuffed Eggplant, which is a traditional Greece recipe and but more importantly a family favourite. On one occasion during one call Dimitra unsure of something checked with Aris who was very close at hand. This is a must try recipe. Here is an online review I came across, “Exceeded my expectations. I love to stop at country restaurants, but I have to be honest: most of them aren’t great. This one is fantastic. On point with the taste and portion size. Left very satisfied and will definitely return.” July 2022 For the eggplants 4 eggplants 4-5 tablespoons olive oil salt pepper For the stuffing 1 onion 1 cloves of garlic 2-3 tablespoons olive oil
For the stuffing 1) Place a frying pan over high heat and add the olive oil. 2) Finely chop the onion, the garlic, and add them to the pan. Add the thyme, the oregano, and sauté. 3) Cut the pepper into small pieces, add it to the pan, and mix. 4) Add the ground chicken and sauté for 2-3 minutes until golden brown. 5) Add the tomato paste and mix. 6) Deglaze the pan with the wine and add the canned tomatoes, the water, the stock, and simmer at low heat for 15-20 minutes until the whole moisture evaporates. To assemble 1) With a spoon, press the flesh of the eggplants to create a pocket. 2) Share the filling among the eggplants and sprinkle with the feta cheese. 3) Serve with rocket, olive oil, pepper, and oregano. Definitions:
1 tablespoons thyme 1 teaspoons oregano 1 green bell pepper 500 g ground chicken 1 tablespoons tomato paste 50 g red wine 400 g canned tomatoes 200 g water 1 tablespoon chicken stock 200 g feta cheese To serve rocket olive oil pepper oregano For the eggplants 1) Preheat the oven to 390° F. 2) Cut the eggplants lengthways and with a knife score their flesh crosswise. 3) Transfer to a baking pan lined with parchment paper and add olive oil, salt, pepper. 4) Place the eggplants with the skin side up and roast them for 25-30 minutes.
Deglazing is simply the act of adding liquid to a hot pan, which allows all of the caramelized bits stuck to the bottom to release What is rocket? Rocket is a very ‘English’ leaf, and has been used in salads since Elizabethan times. It has a strong, peppery flavour, and the leaves have a slight ‘bite’ to them. If you see ‘rucola’ or ‘arugula’ for sale or on a restaurant menu, it’s the same the thing.
PRIDE Villager
Page 11 Issue 9 • Fall 2022
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Strange Breed – Love is the answer. by Rick Young Native Londoner David Sisson, AKA Strange Breed, is a multi- faceted artist, whose creativity takes many forms, including drumming, singer-songwriting, emceeing, poetry and comic book publishing. At this point in his career, he says singer- songwriting and emceeing are his major focus. “Poetry is still a big part of my life, but something that is often either incorporated into my musical side or left private for myself,” says Strange. “I am also writing down ideas, sometimes they just make more sense as poetry than a song. When I’m not at work or with family, I focus all of my time and energy on creating new music. It’s my biggest purpose, I think.” Strange is a member of London’s LGBTQ+ community. “I am openly bisexual and was previously in a polyamorous relationship for several years with two different partners,” he says. “There is now just two of us, and we both continue to promote our deep and loving support for the LGBTQ+ community. It remains a staple subject in many of my songs, and that part of my identity is something of which I am very proud.” “I have never spent a full day without listening to at least some music since the day I was born, and it has always been a very integral part of my life. I’d say I really chose to take things professional shortly after my grandmother bought me a pair of snare drums in my early teens,” says Strange. “My parents paid for lessons and that just set a fire in me that never went away. My first band played its debut show in 2004, so I’ve been doing various projects since that time. Strange Breed came along in 2018 and has been growing like crazy ever since. I’d say I’m a part-time musician out of financial necessity, however, I take it very seriously.”
Photos by Andrew Pillot Strange has played many gigs in many different places over the years. In addition to touring throughout Ontario, he says he is blessed to have played in Detroit and New York City. “Two of the biggest shows I’ve played to date I think would include finally getting to do a gig at Rum Runners, and a return gig at 765 Old East right after lockdown that ended up entirely sold out.” David has been busy in the recording studio, as well. “I’ve released six albums as Strange Breed thus far, two albums with Ursa Nova, and a debut album for Incognito Baby. My most recent release was under the Strange Breed moniker and is called ‘The Madness of the Infinite,’ he says. “It is a big concept album and touches upon the meaning of life and questions of where we go when it all ends. My producer MJ Ultra and I put countless hours into it and I’m really proud of the result. It touches upon numerous genres and styles, moods and meanings and even cameos all of my family in some really touching surprises.” Strange says his greatest honour to date has been receiving the Forest City London Music Award for Hip Hop Artist of the Year in 2021. He is also proud to have achieved third place in the “Survival of the Fittest” contest and having performed numerous times at the Sound Series in Brooklyn, New York. At the moment, Strange is devoting much of his time to promoting The Madness of the Infinite, as well as Incognito Baby’s debut release, “Sticks and Stones.” Both can be found on his website – www.strangebreed.ca – and on all major musical platforms. New music and more shows are on the horizon in 2023. “I can be very philosophical and curiously spiritual, both in and out of art. I am constantly tinkering with what I think to be the purpose for being here,” says Strange. “The one thing I can say about myself is that I believe others should try to erase Hate from their vocabulary. It’s easy to hate something that isn’t pleasant, but everything is a teacher. It’s okay to dislike experiences, but the moment you erase hate from your life and learn to love everything and everyone around you, you can start to find true happiness. Love is the answer!”
In addition to his performances as Strange Breed, David is in a group of fellow hip hop musicians called Ursa Nova and, in a band, called Incognito Baby. “We have been doing a lot of music together and have a lot more coming in the near future. I endeavour to touch upon as many musical genres as I can.” Strange cites many influences on his music, including groups like Eve 6, The Tea Party, Outkast, Gorillaz, The Beatles, Childish Gambino and especially David Bowie. When asked what people can expect from a Strange Breed show, David sums it up in one word: Passion. “My live performances are where I truly shine. You can expect a heck of a lot of energy and a lot of love for the crowd. I will always try and interact as much as possible with the audience and always keep the room in high spirits. If you ever see my name on a flyer, I guarantee I won’t disappoint.”
PRIDE Villager
Issue 9 • Fall 2022 Page 12
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In a Bag – a good time, good music and lots of dancing by Rick Young Like many of their contemporaries, the members of London alt-rock band, In a Bag , came together out of the incubator of Fanshawe College’s Music Industry Arts program. “We all went to school together. The first iteration of the band formed in 2019, but the current lineup wasn’t in place until 2020 when we began our second year of the program,” says founding member, bassist Jesse Grant. Jesse has been playing music and performing in bands for ten years since he was eleven years of age. He grew up in London and attended LB Pearson School for the Arts where he found a passion for performing music. He went through HB Beal, and finally to Fanshawe where he graduated from the Music Industry Arts program. Besides his work with In a Bag, Jesse also performs live with other bands and artists including SYREN. Jesse is a proud queer and transgender person who is active in the London LGBTQ+ community. They have performed with PopRom, The Dorothy Parker Band, and Craterheart for Pride and other LGBTQ+ events. Guitarist Callum Furneaux grew up in Toronto. From an early age, he was exposed to a broad selection of musical genres and styles from his parents, with a focus on Shoegaze, 1980s New Wave, and just about every subgenre of alt-rock possible. After graduating from Fanshawe’s Music Industry Arts program, Callum returned to Toronto and started an internship at Noble Street Studios where he furthered his knowledge in engineering and production. Callum engineers and mixes the band’s tracks and works freelance with various other artists. Drummer Odie Vokes grew up just outside of Owen Sound surrounded by the mix of music tastes from his mom, and the constant mini-concerts his dad would do at home. He got into music after his grandparents put a drum kit in their basement. Odie started drumming with friends for school talent shows, and random open mics in town. At Fanshawe College, he tuned in his drumming style. Besides working with In a Bag, Odie performs with SYREN, and writes a bit of solo off-brand grunge music. Vocalist Gregory Burkell grew up in London listening to a lot of EDM. In high school, he did a good deal of theatre work which definitely helped prepare him for performing on stage. His love of electronic music production led him to join Music Industry Arts where he began focusing more on lyrics and songwriting. He spends a good deal of time working on his solo electronic project. The band’s unique name developed out of their intentional “screwing up” of the first song they ever performed. “We played poorly, we messed up the lyrics, and we endlessly repeated the line ‘in a bag,” they say. “It was all a ploy to make the following song sound ‘better.’ We all loved the joke so much that we just decided to make that our band name, and the repetition of the line served as a great way to drive our band name into people’s minds.” The band takes a lot of inspiration from other Canadian indie acts alongside other alt-rock greats, emulating many elements of their song structures and production techniques. “These are the bands we hope to be playing alongside one day,” they say. In a Bag tends to keep their sets to about half originals, and half covers. “If we need to fill another spot in a set we’re just as likely to learn a new cover as we are to write a new song.”
“Audiences can expect a good time and some good music at our shows. They’ll also be likely to hear some banter, Callum’s massive pedal board, Greg in the mosh pit, and a lot of dancing. You’ll have to come and see it to believe it,” say band members. The band’s music can be heard on a number of streaming platforms including Spotify, Apple Music, and Tidal. They have an active presence on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok where posts about band news, upcoming shows and releases and videos can be found. Their handle/URL is consistently @inabagband. “Our biggest shows and venues up to this point have been the Horseshoe Tavern and Lee’s Palace in Toronto. We’ve played a lot of bars all over Ontario, including London’s Palasad Socialbowl many times. We performed at Home County Music Festival during the summer,” they say. Band members will be taking a little bit of a mental health break over the winter but advise readers to keep their eyes peeled in the New Year, as they have been recording some new material. “As a native Londoner, I couldn’t ask for a more supportive music community. I’ve made many of my closest friends playing shows. We all love playing in London,” says Jesse. “If we’re in your city come see us, follow us on every social media platform, stream and download our album, listen to the words, and sing along. It’ll make ya feel good.”
PRIDE Villager
Page 13 Issue 9 • Fall 2022
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Cool Yule Art Show & Market A beautiful towering Christmas tree provides the background for the first Cool Yule Art Show & Market at Citi Plaza. From Thursday, December 8 through to Sunday, December 11, independent visual artists, and craft vendors will be showcasing their amazing work inside the stores and along the hallway of Citi Plaza. The Cool Yule Art Show & Market will be on the north side of Citi Plaza (the Central Library side) and features curated, hand crafted, unique visual art and crafts ready for the best in gift- giving or even keeping (wink). With over 40 visual artists and 25+ vendors there is something for everyone on your list. Unique festive finds, art works, clothing, soaps, candles, and handmade treasures for all ages and tastes. Enjoy your holiday shopping in one of London’s best downtown locations. There will be special guest musicians providing wonderful sounds of the season and perhaps a ‘surprise’ visitor or two on Saturday. If you are a visual artist or a craft vendor looking to participate in a wonderful show, please contact Kathy.navackas@mainstreetlondon.ca and ask for an application. The applications are open until Friday, November 25. Hours for the Cool Yule Art Show & Market Thursday, December 8: 5:00pm to 8:00pm Friday, December 9: 10:00am to 8:00pm Saturday, December 10: 10:00am to 6:00pm Sunday, December 11: 10:00am to 4:00pm
Celebrate the season with London’s and the surrounding areas’ best artists and crafters. We look forward to seeing you! And that not all, the Rainbow Optimist Club will be holding a fundraiser at the Cool Yule Art Show & Market on Saturday, December 10th from 2:00 pm to 4:00 pm. SURPRISE! Get your “Photo with the Clauses.” Santa and Mrs. Claus will be there for pictures. Santa will be played by Drag King, Brattery Acid and Mrs. Claus will be play by Drag Queen, Poison Ivy-Lee. You can have pictures taken of you, your kids, your family, or your friends with the Clauses. It could be this year’s Christmas card. Funds raised support the Rainbow Optimist Club activities for rural 2SLGBTQI+ youth, their families, and their communities in Elgin. Middlesex and Oxford Counties. Some of these include by not limited to Drag Storytime, Creating Safer Spaces Workshop, Rainbow Speakers Panel and Pride Celebrations & Events in Elgin, Middlesex, and Oxford Counties.
Supporting London’s LGBTQ2+ Community
Teresa Armstrong MPP London—Fanshawe 519-668-1104 tarmstrong-co@ndp.on.ca
Terence Kernaghan MPP London North Centre 519-432-7339 tkernaghan-co@ndp.on.ca
Peggy Sattler MPP London West 519-657-3120 psattler-co@ndp.on.ca
PRIDE Villager
Issue 9 • Fall 2022 Page 14
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Pride is over, now what? by Karen Vecchio Throughout Pride Season, Canadians and the 2SLGBTQI+ communities come together to celebrate diversity and inclusion. Pride events are a time for celebration and provide a forum to highlight challenges and barriers faced by members of the community, including
by Frank Emanuele Co-Director Strathroy Pride
Strathroy Pride in the Park 2022 Strathroy’s Pride in the Park celebration was the culmination of 3 years in the making! The committee began planning for this event in December of 2019 but all our hopes and dreams came to a screeching halt with the global pandemic. We were thrilled to see our dreams finally come to rainbow magnificence this past July at Alexandra Park in Strathroy. The beautiful weather graced the community as they enjoyed live entertainment, over 25 local vendors, Drag storytime, and crafts and activities for the whole family. We were in awe with the community engagement – it was wonderful to see members of all ages enjoying their Pride.
underemployment, violence, and homelessness. Working with the 2SLGBTQI+ communities, I recognize the growing challenges of accessing specific mental health services. Across Canada one in two girls and one in four boys have indicated mental health struggles following the COVID-19 pandemic. Following review of multiple studies and outreach, we know these statistics are even higher in 2SLGBTQI+ communities. Mental Health awareness is key, and all Canadians must work together to reduce the stigma. Currently in the Standing Committee for Status of Women, my colleagues and I are studying Mental Health for Women and Girls in Canada. As a committee, we are ensuring that this study is being completed with an intersectional lens, by inviting witnesses from across Canada to testify in front of the committee. This study has also provided us a clear picture of the lack of services available to Canadians, more specifically, to diverse groups, such as 2SLGBTQI+ communities. Welcoming the conversation, learning the facts, and providing the opportunity to have an open conversation with the 2SLGBTQI+ communities is vital for a constructive process. As a Member of Parliament, I have spoken to several 2SLGBTQI+ groups from across Canada and focused my work on being an ally to the community. I have worked with members of the Canadian Armed Forces who lost their jobs due to their orientation and parents who are on this journey with their children as they are discovering their sexuality and are looking for resources. There is incredible work that is being spearheaded in Southwestern Ontario by local organizations and dedicated leadership. The importance of peer-to-peer support works and provides lifesaving support to members of the 2SLGBTQI+ communities who are seeking a safe haven and may be feeling isolated. This year Elgin County had its first Pride Festival. The event included Indigenous drummers, performances, readings, and several community groups offering a variety of services to the 2SLGBTQI+ communities. In short, it was a place where people felt welcomed, visible, and listened to. I will continue to work for a more diverse, inclusive, and equal country for all Canadians.
This year was an historic year for Strathroy Pride with the installation of the Rainbow Crosswalk on Frank Street. Local businesses and community members came together to contribute to the cost and the result was a colourful masterpiece. Strathroy Pride participated and ran a variety of other events this year including: Rainbow Flag raising at Town hall and at Strathroy Hospital, Family Pride Skate day, Drag Bingo, Pride mug painting, 80’s Karaoke night, Pride Glow Hike, the SDCI Rainbow Alliance Movie fundraiser, and several other Drag Shows in town. We are humbled and blessed to be part of such a wonderful community and look forward to another exciting Strathroy Pride season in 2023!
PRIDE Villager
Page 15 Issue 9 • Fall 2022
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