My Family, My Choice by Reverend Nicholas C. Wilhelm aka Mrs. Chasity Cage
Where do I begin? I guess in many ways my life has led me to where I am today. My name is Reverend Nicholas C. Wilhelm, or you may know me as Mrs. Chastity Cage. I am a bearded drag Queen who happens to be married and live a quaint little life in London adjacent. My husband and I own a beautiful home with our sweet Corgi pup named Riker. We chose to not have children because of our lifestyle, travel and being the amazing “guncles” we are to our nephew and soon to be niece. Children just were not in our cards. Riker however was, and I don’t regret it! Ever since I was a child, I never fit in. I was always a bit too feminine, a bit too dramatic, and a bit too tall and awkward. I was made fun of a lot in school. I am originally from Point Pelee, but grew up in Ingersoll. We all know small towns are not easy to grow up in. It probably didn’t help that I was half native and half German! Often the terms “Nazi Squaw” would be used as i walked down the hallways at school. Kids would raise their hands in a Nazi salute and then limp their wrists as I walked past. Kids would put a feather over their head and make derogatory noises while saying “ how how how gay are you” Kids are kids. My feelings were hurt many times over, I cried many tears. Needless to say, high-school was tough for me. It was even harder that I was not out to my family. I truly confided in one of my teachers, her name was Ms. Doxtader, I don’t know why I chose her to be my confidant, but looking back she wasn’t my best choice. She was very traditional and probably didn’t share the same values as I do in life in general. However, she was there for me, every step of the way. I was failing her class but I was passing life with her beside me. Until the day I was outed, not given the chance to come out, OUTED! By my brother at that. I don’t blame him he was a kid. He had seen emails on ICQ from my first boyfriend at summer camp, yes, I’m that old that I said ICQ. My brother shared that with my parents and my entire family one faithful Easter dinner. That Easter I was the one persecuted and nailed to a cross. From this though I came back stronger and finally able to live my authentic life. Throughout this journey we call life, I have lost and gained, lost more and gained even more family. I have lost the grandparents that would love me, to death and I have lost the other grandparents to ignorance. I lost an aunt because “no man should wear a dress” but I have gained about twenty aunts in all of my mother’s friends. My mother, when she finally accepted herself, has been an inspiration for me. That is not my story to tell, but hell that’s a story that needs to be told. I have gained a family at work too, in my bosses’ words. . . “We lean on Nick, not just for work issues but for emotional support as well. People turn to him for that emotional support. He offers guidance and advice to anyone who is in need. He has taken on a fatherly role for all of our staff.” I have learned to surround myself with love, and block the hate. The hate is and will always be there, but it only has strength when we allow it. Family is love, and love does not see colour, gender, orientation, or religion. So, surround yourself with love, surround yourself with your chosen family. Love forever Mrs. Chastity Cage
Pride Villager Issue #9 Fall 2022 www.villagerpublications.com
Publisher: Barb Botten, Villager Publications P.O. Box 134, Lambeth Station Ontario N6P 1P9 Managing Editors: Barb Botten, Martin Withenshaw Graphic Artist: Cathy Wood Read past issues of Pride Villager at www.villagerpublications.com
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PRIDE Villager
Issue 9 • Fall 2022 Page 8
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