The Despatch Summer 2025

Inside this issue you can...

* Read riveting reviews of books, games, clubs, sport and more * Discover fascinating facts about the most boring day ever * Create the best-ever gnocchi * Learn vital cat-care techniques Explore the difference between Chinese and European cars * Debate which is better: Gladiators or The Traitors? * Consider the pros and cons of a 3-day weekend

And much, much more...

Contents

It’s Goodbye from Us Thomas Hibbert and Cillian Norris

World Book Day Luca Cordoni

Trash Theatre Trip William Hickman

Children’s Book Project

Gladiators or Traitors? Zayn Dosani

National Reading Champion’s Quiz

Summer Perks Cesar Cotrufo

A Name of Two Halves Elliott Parson-Beattie

Block Blast: the dark truth Archie Verity

No more pasta, peas! Ryan Karia and Aadi Jain

The Best Ever Gnocchi Benjamin Isaac Rhodes-Journeay

Chinese vs European Cars Lucian Postan

Trinity School’s Book Award Cillian Norris

Derek Landy Patrick Ullman

Rugby Christopher Obeso

Board Games Society Raglan Jenen-Burgess

Recreating Magic: The Wizarding World Returns Aadi Jain

Easy Coding Jojo Dadson and Farid Edge

World Destruction Cesar Cotrufo

Lower School House Art

The Premier League Stanley Thornton and Anton Battjes

Social Distancing Thomas Hibbert

Lower School House Poetry

Welcome to Gravity Falls Milo Watson

Five Star Game Review Almanac Mannes-Abbott

3-day week Zayn Dosani

Sam’s Book Suggestions Sam Di Marino

Diablo III and its surprising link to Venezuela Thomas Hibbert

Apple or Samsung? Jojo Dadson

Lower House School Photography

How to Care for your Cat Austin Gardiner

Generation Beta Seth Gunner

FORTNITE: Not just a Game Ben Rhodes-Journeay

Rock vs Cena Archie Verity

Trump Store: Officially Licensed Scam Thomas Hibbert

College of Rock Sam Di Marino

Randall Munroe William Hickman

AI Fakery Elliott Parson-Beattie

Lights, Camera, Propoganda Thomas Hibbert

Meta’s T&Cs Ryan Karia

Wordsearches Archie Verity and Sam Di Marino

It’s Goodbye From Us

As this is my last Despatch issue I thought I would use this article to list some of my editing career highlights:

1. Colin vs. Cuthbert, the caterpillar cake off.

2.Where’s the protein? Bring back DFC!

3. 2023 one liners.

4.When Australia went to war with their national bird and lost.

5. BOTW vs. TOTK.

These are all treasured memories and although there have been several complaints about my skills as Editor from “anonymous” people (ahem, Raglan), I have had fun as Editor throughout my whole time here – and thanks to the amazing people behind the scenes who make all this possible. Onward and upwards and, I feel within my right to say, I am sure the year 7s will do well next year.

Cillian Norris

Another year gone for the team at the Despatch, another edition finished. I am

proud to say that we have (hopefully!) passed the mantle of Editors on to a competent team next year. I have loved my time at the Despatch, and I hope everyone has found it the same. I want to thank everyone who has contributed to this, especially the teachers, who perhaps we’ll now let out of the figurative editing dungeon where they have been toiling endlessly to make this society a reality.

Thank you to the students and writers and staff, who helped provide yearly coverage for the newspaper, and dedication throughout. I hope you enjoy the Despatch Summer Edition 2025.

Thomas Hibbert

World Book Day

This year’s World Book Day fell on the 6th March.We had a range of activities on offer for us to complete, including a word search and an anagram sheet. If you got each one correct, you got a pack of Haribos! There was a massive bucket of them to choose from, which created a lot of excitement! Queues were lasting for up to 20 mins!!!! We hope to see this much enthusiasm next year.

DoYou Miss Dressing Up?

I’m sure most of us will have dressed up at some point in primary school and for me it was really fun, and I do quite miss it actually as there were competitions to see who had the best costume and it can get very tense and there are so many fantastic entries that come every year. Maybe, if enough of us miss it, we could try to bring dressing up back to the Lower School for next year.

What’s Next?

We are very lucky at Dulwich College because we also have DC Book Week where we enjoy lots of great events such as Bookface, which is when you have to find a book and use the cover to blend in with your face or any other

objects. This can get very wild, as seen by last year’s entries, which were hilarious!!!! This can be great fun for

everyone, and there’s more.WE GET NO HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!! WE GET TO READ INSTEAD!!!! What more could you want!? However, that is not the point; you also get to do research and other fun activities in the library, such as book quizzes and unique events and in clubs, there will be more fun and special events, so make sure to go along to some of them!

Luca Cordoni

Trash Theatre Trip The Trash theatre trip was a fun afternoon out complete with lots of sweets and madness.We had the whole afternoon off school to go and watch a production about four men in a recycling plant, complete with antics to put a humorous and enjoyable spin on the play. These enjoyable performances included: * a beanbag dance where the four men performing got in beanbags and did a dance – and there was this one beanbag who didn’t stop dancing when the others did – kind of like a “That one guy” moment. * a scene where they tapped plastic bottles on helmets to play the tune of Fur Elise, and there were two volunteers who were needed for this musical performance. The two adult volunteers absolutely sold. Just saying. * a part where they tapped nails on a gas container to create sounds such as a doorbell (don’t worry the gas container didn’t break but an explosion would have been funny). * a swinging light show (ow, my eyes) and they used basketballs thumping on a stage to create an extremely entertaining basketball game and some cool rhythms. * and for the finale, they used chainsaws scraping across barrels to send up huge spark waves.Was it safe? Of course not.They also made a huge “TRASH” sign out of spare parts e. g. the “H” was made of metal car wheel rims and the “S” was made of tubing. It was a very enjoyable near -death experience.

William Hickman

Children’s Book Project Book Drive

In February, pupils, parents and staff collected more than 800 new and gently used books for the charity, the Children's Book Project. Pupils brought in piles of their own favourite books, ready to be sorted by the College librarians before collection. The Children's Book Project will distribute the books via their gifting events in London schools, where children, who have few or no books of their own, will be invited to choose books to take home and keep.

Battle of the TORS

There is a huge debate worldwide about which is better...

Traitors is a game where 22 contestants are given a role of either a ‘Faithful’ or a ‘Traitor’. The Faithfuls’ aim is to discover who the Traitors are, and the Traitors must pretend they are Faithfuls. Every evening all the contestants vote for who they think the traitors are, and whoever gets the most votes will be banished from the castle forever, after revealing their identity. If they are a traitor, the faithfuls have succeeded, whereas if it’s a Faithful who is removed then the Traitors are in a good position because one of their own hasn’t been eliminated. Every night the traitors can murder a faithful. If a traitor is banished the

Gladiators or The Traitors?

Gladiators is a show where two contenders are faced with a series of

obstacles which they have to complete, while racing against

gladiators. Every win can get you a certain number of points which helps on the eliminator - the final obstacle course which decides if you win or not. If you do win you qualify for the next round and eventually you can get to the final and win it. The hardest obstacle is called ‘The Travellator’, where you run up a track that is moving in the opposite direction to you.

remaining two traitors have a choice: recruit a new Traitor or murder another traitor.You can’t do both though.When it is the endgame all the faithfuls decide whether there are any traitors remaining. If they are correct, they get to split the prize money between the faithfuls but if they are wrong the traitors keep the money to themselves. The way you can earn money is buy completing missions which can get you a certain amount of money. The most amount of money you can

win is £120,000. Arguably, I think The Traitors is

better than Gladiators because it’s more entertaining. Zayn Dosani

National Reading Champions Quiz 2025 Nine keen readers from Years 7 and 8 pitted their wits against 22 teams from other schools in the South East in the National Literacy Trust's annual competition. There were several rounds of challenging questions about children's and young adult literature including anagrams, melted book covers and AI generated films of book blurbs which tested all the contestants' literary knowledge. After a close-fought competition the two Dulwich College teams came fourth and ninth. Team members Elliot, Christopher, Thomas, Conrad, Edward, Jad, Oli, Ian and Raif have been awarded Library ties. Congratulations to the team from Coopers School who go through to the National Final.

Summer Perks

I am here to convince you that summer is the top season and if you already do think that, then congratulations on being smart!

Reason 1: summer is always when you are running around with your friends kicking it off with some soccer or other sports and enjoying the sunlight on your soon-to- be tanned skin.You don’t see anyone in London have as much fun in winter as they do in summer because its simply not possible.

Reason 2: in winter, it’s true that it’s nice to just sit back with some hot cocoa in front of the fireplace, but you can still do that in summer, AND you can have a nice ice cream which has multiple flavours. There’s only one flavour hot chocolate, remember that.

And finally reason 3 : you always have to wear so many layers and still feel kinda cold in winter, but in summer it’s all good; you get up, put on a t -shirt and shorts and just walk off to your summer hotspot. Now nobody can say that isn’t easier than skins. It’s just a better option!

So all in all, winter may have some perks, but the bad things trump the good. And as many people know there aren’t any problems with summer! So if you had a favourite season, think again( unless it’s summer, in which case, think don’t think again).

Thank you for reading.

Cesar Cotrufo

A Name of Two Halves

Some companies begin life with one name and then change to another. In this article, we will be looking at three of my favourite examples.

DIMENSION SIX (NIKE)

Nike is number three on the list for its old name,‘Blue Ribbon Sports’. Now, back in 1964, when the company went by this name, the founder, Phil Knight, was going on an around-the-world trip. Knight came across a statue of Nike, the Greek goddess, during his travels. The statue’s culture inspired Knight, so when there was a discussion about changing the brand’s name back home, he suggested the name Nike! This was not a favourite but was agreed to be better than the other option, Dimension Six. By 1971, Nike was adopted along with the iconic logo, leaving Blue Ribbon Sports and Dimension Six in the dust.

Nike has recently issued some limited edition shoes featuring the original branding, including the Falcon and Dimension Six designs

BRAD’S DRINK (PEPSI)

So, number two, the runner- up! Brad’s Drink! In the 1800s, a man named Caleb Bradham left university and started his own pharmacy. Like most pharmacies at the time, bottles of soda were also for sale outside the store and the medicine inside. But, something was different about this particular soda, which his customers loved. This best-selling soda drink was so popular that Caleb purchased a name for it - ‘Brad’s Drink’, after his surname, Bradham. But he then decided to change the name to be relevant to ‘pepsin’, an enzyme in your digestive system which dissolves food. Bradham frequently went on to change the name of his drink from Pepsin Drink, to Pep-Kola, and finally ‘Pepsi Cola’.

TROPICANA (TROPCN)

And at number one on the list, 'Tropcn'! If you have orange juice in your fridge at home, it might be from a popular drink company, Tropicana. Now, I know what you're thinking, Elliott; why is this number one? They just removed letters! I'm aware, and it's for the silliest reason I've heard: Tropicana tried to prove just how natural their juice is by removing all the AI from their brand... LITERALLY!! This is not official, but there has been a recent campaign with some bottles with the new text being given out. Oh gosh.

Elliott Parson-Beattie

Block Blast: the dark truth

Block Blast is a new addictive computer game where the player fits random blocks shapes together to try and make rows of blocks in order to gain points. If you don't have enough space for the blocks the game is over. If you visit Block Blast in the app store you may notice it is a 17+. I can promise there is no 17+ content. So why is the age rating so high? I needed to know, so I endlessly scrolled through the game’s Terms and Conditions. Then I found my answer: by downloading the game, you immediately agree to being 17 or over; then by agreeing to the terms and conditions. Block Blast can legally start selling your data overseas. Here is a list of what information they take: IP Address (your direct location); your phone’s make and model; information from your computer’s CPU (your device’s control centre); your WIFI network (password and name). All this information can then be sold for serious money to marketing companies and advertisers. So be careful when you sign up to games because Block Blast isn't the only one like this. Archie Verity

At DC, on some days, most people get Shepherd's pie or pork egg fried rice, while we vegetarians get pasta! We have noticed that at JAGS, they have a larger selection of food, like sandwiches, a really extensive salad bar... and even Mexican vegetarian options! This shows it is possible to have a greater variety of vegetarian food at school. We would like the vegetarian food options at DC be enhanced and more like those at JAGS. If we had a better salad bar and more L200170

No more pasta, peas! (For all vegetarians, this is the article you have been waiting for) Have you ever sat down to lunch, tucked into your nice juicy meat, and noticed that your veggie friend at your table had pasta? DID YOU KNOW? 43% of Londoners are vegetarian, vegan or pescatarian?

vegetarian choices, this would be amazing for vegetarians, and healthier for meat-eaters too! Ryan Karia and Aadi Jain

Menus to compare & contrast

DC Menu

JAGS Menu

Soups and Salads

Cauliflower and asparagus soup

Soup of the Day

(better) Salad bar

Salad Bar

Mains

Chicken burger in a brioche bun

Chicken Teriyaki Chow Mein

Vegan haricot bean burger

Lamb Rendang

Dhal lentil and vegetable curry

Quorn chilli

Baked potatoes

Penne pasta

Sides

Baked potatoes

Rice

Sides

Iceberg lettuce

Rice

Onion rings

Carrots

Potato wedges

Peas

Tomato Sauce

Desserts

Chocolate digestive mousse pot with cocoa nibs

Roast Sweet Potatoes

Baked Beans

Greek yoghurt

Desserts

Mixed berries

Sticky Toffee Pudding

The Best Ever Gnocchi Nick DiGiovanni’s gnocchi recipe from Knife Drop was my starting point, but

after making it ten times, I’ve refined it into something uniquely my own. By baking the potatoes instead of boiling them, I’ve ensured a fluffier texture every time. I go light on the flour to keep the gnocchi as tender as possible. I love to serve these with a browned butter and sage sauce, topped with a generous shower of freshly grated Parmesan. Serve 3: cooking time 1 hour 40 mins 1. Preheat the oven to 200˚C. Bake potatoes until tender (approx 1 hour).

Ingredients 900g russet potatoes 1 large egg 100g plain flour pinch of salt freshly grated nutmeg sunflower oil 3 egg yolks 70g browned butter,

2.When potatoes are just cool enough to handle remove the skins and use a potato ricer to rice the potatoes into a medium sized bowl. Gently stir in the whole egg, then mix in the flour. Add salt and nutmeg to taste. 3. Lightly flour a work surface and knead the dough for 1 minute or until smooth, dusting with flour to prevent sticking. Roll the dough into a long, uniform log about 1.25cm thick. Cut into 1.25 cm segments, then pinch the edges so they look like little pillows. Transfer to two parchment-lined baking sheets, spacing them out. 4. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and gently slide the first tray of gnocchi into the pot. Once they float, count slowly to 30 before removing them. 5.While the first batch of gnocchi boils, heat the oil in a large nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat. Using a slotted spoon, add the gnocchi directly into the hot pan (BE CAREFUL THE OIL WILL SPLATTER). Cook, untouched, for 3 minutes or until each pillow of gnocchi gets a light golden- brown crust on one side. Repeat with the remaining gnocchi. 6. Divide the gnocchi evenly among the three plates and arrange into a small nest. Place the unbroken raw egg yolk into the centre of each nest. Spoon the hot brown butter over the top and give a generous shower of parmesan. Just before serving, break the egg yolk and mix with the browned butter to create a nutty, flavourful sauce. ENJOY!

Benjamin Isaac Rhodes-Journeay (Credit to Nick DiGiovanni)

Chinese Vs European cars

Europeans have been making cars for years now, since 1888, but now they have a huge competitor: The Chinese. The Chinese have started to make affordable cars for your everyday buyer, undercutting Audi and suchlike.

CHINESE CARS

China have just entered the car market.They may not have the great history that German brands do, but does this mean they cannot make cars that are just as good? Hongqi is a luxurious Chinese car brand that competes with the likes of the Mercedes Maybach, Mercedes’ luxurious car type. I sat in a Hongqi L1 at the Goodwood Festival of Speed, and it was lovely; one of the comfiest cars I have ever sat in. In that respect, it is a worthy competitor to Rolls Royce. Yangwang, the luxurious brand of BYD (Build Your Dreams), have a current range of three cars, the Yangwang U7, U8 and the U9. The Yangwang U9 is a super car to compete with the likes of Ferrari and Lamborghini, it has a top speed of 233 mph, is fully electric and does 0-62 mph in 2.36 seconds (faster than the Lamborghini Aventador S 0-62 of 2.9 seconds.) The price of the U9 is £178,527 though, £100,000 less than the Aventador S. BYD (Build Your Dreams) is a Chinese car company that owns Yangwang, founded by Wang Chuafu. Their cars are very affordable and have an exceptional range of 354 miles.

Xpeng is a car brand that aims to reach China's mid- to high-end passenger market, like Mercedes' S Class or BMW's 7 Series.

EUROPEAN CARS While most people believe that European cars are the best cars, and the most reliable, they are not Mercedes-Benz, the 2 nd least reliable car manufacturer in the world, scoring 23/100 on CarEdge. So why do people prefer European cars? Perhaps it is because of their design, history or household recognition. Audi is a German car manufacturer whose cheapest new car is £23,500. BYD’s car of a similar size is electric, and just under £8000. So why would you buy an Audi? Maybe for its name or prestige? BMW is also a German car company that also produces luxurious cars. BMW has a rich history, unlike most Chinese car brands. But does that really make the actual car better? Not really, as Chinese brands are pioneering the future technology, whereas the older brands tend just to use what they know. Rolls Royce is a well-known major luxury brand, and I can guarantee every person you ask will say this is the most luxurious car manufacturer. But is it? The Hongqis are very luxurious, but I have never sat in a Rolls Royce to compare. But can it get that much better? I mean, when you're at the top, there can't be better materials or features than the other cars, as they are already at the top. This is a quote from Rolls Royce: "Seamless motion invigorates the heart. Superior craftsmanship excites the senses".What does that even mean?

Some people would argue that Mercedes balances luxury with cost, but Mercedes has created cars that are way overpriced like the Mercedes-Benz 300 SLR Uhlenhaut Coupé which sold for a crazy 135 million euros at auction. However, when you own a Mercedes, you get a certain prestige over the people driving around in random, unknown Chinese brands. Volvo is a Swedish car manufacturer that created the seatbelt that we know and use to this day.Volvo is known for making some of the safest cars ever, with all their models scoring exceptionally high on crash tests and unmatched safety features, and perfect for a family.Volvos are also relatively affordable and comfy cars, with their cheapest model, the EX30, starting at £34,000. It is also electric and competes with the cheaper Chinese electric cars. Conclusion In conclusion, I believe that European cars are still ahead, as I doubt many of you reading this have considered a Xpeng or other Chinese brands in your life, as you probably thought that none of them come close to European brands. Even though some of the Chinese brands are probably better value and more interesting than the European brands, you would probably rather have a Mercedes or BMW over a Yangwang, so for that reason, Europe is further ahead at the moment.

Lucian Postan

Trinity Schools Book Award The highly coveted TSBA book awards is a prize which is a target for many in the world of writers. I had the prestigious honour to attend this most grand of occasions, and the formality was not spoiled at all by a certain somebody playing Brawl Stars the whole journey and everyone else being slow paced. The evening started off in a roundabout sort of way, making introductions, small talk and meeting two of the amazing former librarians of the college, Ms McGuinness and Ms O’Connor. (Year eights will know them.) the eight books in the running were as follows: Bite Risk , The Magic Fish , Wild Song, Leila and the Blue Fox , A Flash of Fireflies, Jodie, Dogs of the Deadlands and last but not least, Midwinter Burning .The winning book was (insert drum roll here) Bite Risk by S.J.Wills!

Before I go any further, I need to tell you about Bite Risk . (I don’t need to but I told the author that I would, and she knows where I live so…) Bite Risk is an amazing book about werewolves where the main character lives in an ordinary town where all the adults turn into werewolves once a month. Didn’t see that coming, did ya? The main character is called Sel. He is 14 and carries a large tranquilliser gun to knock out werewolves. The adults know they turn into werewolves, and they lock themselves in cages the whole night to stop themselves from attacking. However, a mysterious force is unlocking their ages causing them to run free and when it forces Sel to kill one of his friends, it gets personal. It is an amazingly fun read and even if you think you don’t like reading, read this.

I got to meet the author afterwards and grabbed a quick word with her for the Despatch:

Cillian: So, S.J Wills, what book do you wish you had written?

S.J Wills: I really wish I had written The Hunger Games series and a lot of horror books generally.

C: Who would win in a fight, a vampire or one of your werewolves?

S.J.W: Easily one of my werewolves.

C: What if it was a Skullduggery Pleasant vampire? (Vampire but 10x stronger)

S.J.W.: Then I think it would be a fair match.

In short, gentlemen, it was a very elegant night, which would have been perfect if it had not been for all of us getting on the wrong train, which was totally not my fault.

Cillian Norris

Derek Landy

In April, we were treated to an author visit by Derek Landy, creator of the Skulduggery Pleasant book series. This visit was on the publication date of his new and highly anticipated addition to the series – A Heart full of Hatred . This visit began with Mr Landy revealing that he had not written a script and instead opting to

answer our abundant questions. Mr Landy was then asked about the basics of the series, his favourite characters and if Skulduggery would ever become a movie.

To all of our surprise, Mr Landy revealed that, yes in fact Skulduggery Pleasant would in fact become a film and he said that he couldn’t reveal the studio that was producing it, but did tell us about multiple studios whose bids had failed. Mr Landy also revealed that killing characters is his favourite part about writing books and his early jobs before he wrote books. After the author visit was completed, Mr Landy left, and the signed books were available in the library to students who had ordered them.

Patrick Ullman

RUGBY

the chance to take the ball of you. This is called a turnover, and if there are no teammates to ball. Each side in a game lasts 40 minutes, and there are two halves, so there are 80 minutes. In a standard rugby game, there are also 10 to 15 minutes, depending on the kindness of the coach. There are two main for- mations in rugby, depending on whether you're defending or attack- ing; the defending position is usual- ly a line to stop the opponent from breaking through with someone fur- ther back in case they try to kick. The attacking position is a v or diag- onal line with the person with the ball at the front/tip of the V. I love rugby because it's a good way to exercise with friends; even when you lose, you are still getting strong- er and faster. I also really enjoy watching rugby on TV, especially the England matches. I don't play com- petitively at school yet, but I plan on it and hope to get into the first XVI one day! Christopher Obeso

Rugby is a fast-paced game in which the goal is to score tries. This is achieved by touching the ball down behind the try line, after scoring, your team has the chance to kick for a conversion. A try is worth 5 points and a conversion is worth 2 points. At the end of the game the team with the most points wins. However there is one problem, the opposing team will most likely not want you to score tries or conver- sions. The most common method that they will employ is to tackle you, which is when an opposing team member gives you a very violent hug below the shoulders, which will most likely leave you on the ground; how- ever, now you really must concentrate as if you don'tdon't turn around and present the ball properly then the op- ponent has formed a ruck (which is where they defend and take the ball from you) then the tackle will be most likely to end in the opposition taking

Board Games Society

Board Games society is a brilliant club that runs on Thursdays, 4-5.15pm. Any students from Lower, Middle or Upper school year can come to the Raymond Chandler Library to play a myriad of board games. The club is run by Mr Gibbons and uses many board games from Potion making (Quaks of Quedlingberg) to Circus preforming (Scout) to Murder mystery (Deception: Murder in Hong Kong). There truly is a game for everyone and plenty of people to play with. Furthermore, snacks will be provided.

Here are the board games we have:

Cartographers * 7 Wonders (2nd Edition) - Small World * Marvel Champions: The Card Game * The Quacks of Quedlinburg * SCOUT * Dixit: Odyssey * Happy Little Dinosaurs * Deception: Murder in Hong Kong * The Quest for El Dorado * Marvel Splendor * Roll for the Galaxy * Werewolf (Wolfen variant) * The Crew: Mission Deep Sea * Just One * The Resistance: Avalon * Decrypto

For more information on these games: https://boardgamesgeek.com

If you have any suggestions message Mr Gibbons.

Raglan Jenen-Burgess

Recreating Magic: The Wizarding World Returns

It’s happening! 15 years after the premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-Part 2, Harry, Ron and Hermione will return to the big screen in 2027 in an HBO remake of Harry Potter. It will stream as a TV series, with each season of the show detailing one book in the series.

The series will be completely based on the original books and not a new concept.

Sadly, it has been confirmed that there will be completely new actors, and Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint will not be returning to the screen to act.

It was decided to make this, as spin-offs, such as ‘Fantastic Beasts’ and ‘Hogwarts Legacy’, did extremely well, and there was a large amount of customers. Also, CGI has improved a ton since 2001, and the producers think it can be way more realistic. In September 2024, the official Harry Potter Instagram account published a UK open casting call. They mentioned they are looking for children aged 9-11 as of April 2025 who reside in the UK/Ireland.

Auditioning has now closed, but HBO has yet to announce the cast. So what do you think? Is this a spellbinding hit or a big flop? Aadi Jain

Easy Coding :D

Some people think that coding in Scratch is the language of the smart young people. However, it is just making simple sentences. An example is-

When I start as a Clone, forever, if touching [me :)] or touching colour [grey] then switch costume to costume 2, wait 0 seconds, delete this clone. This will make the sprite delete itself when touching 1 of 2 things. Another example, is, it is just a sentence.When [flag] clicked, hide. Forever, if 3 key pressed, then create clone of myself, wait 0.3 seconds. This tells the project that when the e key is pressed, it will create a clone that if it is touching [me :)] or [grey] it will delete itself… You see, block coders aren’t REALLY geniuses. They just make simple sentences :).

Pretty easy :)

The final step to this is to repeat the same again, but this tells the Snowball to move forward, and target [me :)].

When I start as a clone, switch costume to costume1. Forever, if key e pressed, then point towards [me :)]. Repeat 50 (times) move 25 steps. Delete this clone. So these 3 scripts tell us that when the e key is pressed, fire a snowball that is pointing towards a specific location called [me :)], and if its touching 1 of 2 things, it will delete itself automatically.

Questions:

What will happen if there is no “delete this clone” block at the end

of the snowball script?

What will happen is instead of “move [25] steps” we put “change X by

[25]”?

What will happen if we don’t put a “wait [0.3] seconds” in the 2nd script?

Jojo Dadson and Farid Edge

World Destruction

Hello I am Cesar Cotrufo and I am writing about the main things that people are doing which could destroy our planet: Air pollution Like people, animals are impacted by the effect of dirty air, and without animals the food chain is dangerously compromised. In polluted areas bees struggle to find their food sources, and without the bees’ pollinating services our food production would collapse. Just something to think about. Overfishing This is destroying our oceans by removing animals in the food chain and dumping thousands of nets and other horrible plastics that the animals and sea creatures are eating and choking on, causing sealife to be massively depleted . Climate change This has caused countless people to lose their lives and also has destroyed millions of homes. Many more places will become uninhabitable soon. The ice caps are melting, the sea levels are rising and the earth is warming. Light pollution Artificial light from towns and cities can disrupt ecosystems by making newly hatched turtles move towards the towns rather than the sea. It is bad for human health as it disrupts our sleep and prevents us from enjoying the night sky. And it is a wasteful use of energy. Overpopulation Our small planet is struggling to be populated by 8.7 billion people and millions of animals that are still being poached and slaughtered illegally. If anything, we should have more animals by ratio instead of countless humans being at the top of every food chain that we know of. Plastic pollution There might be more plastic in the ocean than fish by 2026.Yep you read that right. If we don’t change our overuse and trash systems soon, we’ll have so much plastic; we have plastic in our sushi or fish if we have these meals as an option!

Lower School House Art

The Premier League

All the teams, their best players and their form.We have studied the stats so here they are! *

Arsenal: 8/10 Best Players: Bukayo Saka and Martin Ødegaard. Five-year form: They have an average placement of 5th, and we think they should have a trophy after all the money they have spent.

Aston Villa: 8/10 Best Players: Ollie Watkins and Emi Martinez. Five-year form: They have an average placement of 11th. They have improved a lot from coming 17th to qualifying for the Champions League.

Bournemouth: 5/10 Best Players: Justin Kluivert and Evanilson. Five-year form: an average placement 15th, and we think they are a decent team, and they are doing all right.

Brentford: 6/10 Best Players: Bryan Mbeumo and Yoane Wissa. Form. Five-year form: They have had an average placement of 13th, and we think they are an alright team, and they can pull off big upsets.

Brighton: 6/10 Best Players: Kauro Mitoma and Jiao Pedro: Five-year form. An average placement of 13th, we think they are a proper prem team because they have good and bad seasons.

* info correct at time of writing - March 2025

Chelsea : 6/10 Best Players: Cole Palmer and Nicolas Jackson. Five-year form: An average placement of 6th, and we think they have spent too much on average players.

Crystal Palace: 6/10 Best Players: Eze and Marc Guehi. Five-year from:They have had an average placement of 12th we think that considering they have not spent that much money and are a local club.

Everton : 4/10 Best Players: Jordan Pickford and James Tarkowski: Five – year form: An average placement of 14th.We think they should not be in the prem because they have dodged relegation for many years on end.

Fulham : 6/10 Best Players: Bernand Leno and Smith-Rowe. Five-year form: They have had an average placement of 14th but they have spent two of those five years in the championship and have bounced back incredibly this year.

Ipswich : 5/10 Best Players: Philips and Delap. Five-year form: This is the first time they have ever been in the prem.We think they are doing well although they are in a relegation spot.

Leicester : 5/10 Best Players: Jamie Vardy and Ricardo Pereria. Five-year form: They have an average placement of 9th, we think they started bad, but they are bouncing back with their new manager.

Liverpool: 10/10 Best Players: Mo Salah and Van Dijk: Five-year form: They have an average placement of 3rd .This season they have been outstanding with Arne Slott.

Man City: 9/10 Best Players: Erling Haaland and Kevin De Bruyne: Five-year form: An average placement of 1st , they have been unbeatable in recent seasons but this season we could be witnessing their downfall

Man United: 6.5/10 Best Players: Bruno Fernandes and Amad Diallo: Five-year form: The last five years they have an average placement of 4th, this is surprising as we think they are bad now and won’t get better anytime soon. Newcastle: 8/10 Best Players: Alexander Isak and Anthony Gordon. Five-year form: An average placement of 9th, we think this is about right, although the last 2 years they have played exceptionally well and even managed to get champions league.We give them an 8/10.. Nottingham Forest: 7/10 Best Players: Chris Wood and Morgan Gibbs-White. Five-year form: They have an average placement of 12th, currently they are doing amazingly well, and they are currently in the top 4 while writing this. They haven’t been in the prem for long so considering this they are doing very well.

Southampton: 3/10 Best Players: Aaron Ramsdale and Paul Onuachu. Five-year form: Last five years they have an average placement of 15th.We think this season they are doing horribly and deserve to be relegated.

Tottenham Hotspur: 7/10 Best Players: Son Heung-min and Solanke: Five-year form: They have an average placement of 6th.We think they are a good team, but disappointing so far this season. They only have a bad reputation because everyone hates them.

West Ham: 6.75/10 Best Players: Jarrod Bowen and Mohammed Kudus. Five-year form: They have an average placement of 10th, They are an okay team that have good and bad seasons.

Wolves: 6/10 Best Players: Matheus Cunha and Rayan Aït-Nouri. Five-year form: They have an average placement of 11th, recently they have been playing badly and are low down in the table.

Stanley Thornton and Anton Battjes

Social Distancing: The World of Warcraft version

Covid 19. Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh! So, who enjoyed Covid? If you did well, lucky you because you might have guessed that I certainly did not. But what if I told you that another pandemic was raging a couple of years ago inside a video game? Well, you, hypothetical reader, I just made up a fairly mediocre introduction; I see your interest is piqued. Well, here it is.

Welcome to World of Warcraft (WoW). It is a video game that I will explain because most people

reading this have no idea what it is and probably still have a social life.WoW is an open-world multiplayer game where you can play a multitude of fantasy characters and use magic, fight monsters, trade with NPCs or other players, and spend only six hours a day doing it, set in a magic and medieval-themed world. But this virtual world was about to be hit by a terrifying plague. It started as all pandemics do, from the new demonic creature added to the game, Hakkar the Soulflayer. During the quest to defeat Hakkar, the players receive the affected Corrupted Blood, which severely damages the player. During the fighting, pets were also contaminated but were deactivated during the fight and reactivated after leaving the area. In real life, animals are often the first carriers of the illness, and as they showed no sign of it, they took on the role of asymptomatic carriers. These pets, when released, absolutely decimated towns. The way the virus worked was once you contracted the disease, you couldn't get rid of it. If you died from it and respawned, it would haunt you and kill you in a perpetual cycle. Fun.

The world was soon facing a major epidemic, but while everyone was facing mass extinction, it was cool (from a psychological perspective). Some people travelled between contaminated and safe areas, to see what would happen, potentially spreading the disease back to safe areas. People in plagued areas emigrated to non- dangerous areas, which helped spread the plague. A new system of operation was also implemented that players would declare

themselves to be sick to avoid spreading it, but this idea was quickly picked up by trolls and griefers who began to spread the plague to non-contaminated players. These players soon heard of this and began to declare themselves ill, just to be left alone. Lower level players also surrounded settlements to warn passer byers that it was full of Corrupted Blood, or to tell people to leave to avoid spreading it too the new location. This takes on the role of travel being illegal, which we saw during the Covid years. This makes for a surprisingly interesting occasion. One, because WoW players are WAY too invested in their game, and secondly because humans do stupid things and are incredibly dumb animals under intense moments of stress, such as during a pandemic. These situations have been used by real world epidemiologists to look at real world plagues. Because of the unpredictable nature of humans, it is hard to really measure what humans will do, so this event was an interesting look at how we would act. The lessons we learn from this incident probably saved lives during the real pandemic and will hopefully save more into the future. The developers of WoW eventually fixed the game with a hard reset, and the problem patched, soon teenagers were able to sit in their dark room for hours once again with unsolicited chat with random people from all over the world potentially destroying their social skills and network. Truly humanity at its peak.

Thomas Hibbert

Lower School House Poetry

Year 7

Winner: Oscar Williams (Grenville)

Special commendation: Raif Lee (Raleigh)

Special commendation: Baffour Asare Bediako (Drake)

Special commendation: Nicolo Di Nisio (Jonson)

Year 8

Winner: Jesse Sopade (Drake)

Special commendation : Michael Suen-Sokiri (Howard)

Special commendation: Boaz Luk (Raleigh)

Special commendation: Alex Pierides (Howard)

Natural History by Jesse Sopade (8C)

Then, all was calm

The water lapped gently, and the animals lived in harmony

Then, it was peace,

A perfect balance of nature, a single, complete masterpiece

Now, it is uneasy

The sprits of those beasts who were once free

Are restrained, restricted and dominated by humanity

Now, it is crumbling

The precious natural framework

Being destroyed by one race of things

Soon, it will be over

Planet Earth used as if a children’s toy

Soon, we will be naught but dust

Humanity having enjoyed this pleasant toy for too long

Time is unforgiving

It does not stop, it is the whole, we are the fractions

And if we don’t act before our section is finished

We will be the victims of our own actions

A Walk in the Woods by Oscar Williams (7E)

Trees like skeletons, with their withered, naked bones, sway lifelessly like pup- pets on a string,

Might were they in their glory days, tall and proud like kings and queens.

Moist leaves which once clothed them now mock them at their feet,

Yellow seeping from their every pore,

Their majestic reign ended once more.

We walk on.

Lonely birds, the camouflage of their nests cruelly stolen, continue on their quest,

Circling above, circling above, circling above.

Their squawks, like human cries, echo through the silence,

Like bullets across the sky,

As the day’s end draws nigh. We walk on. The blanket overhead stripped of colour, it’s greyness sneering with contempt, Its hues of blue arased from memory. The biting cold pierces the soul like a sharpened dagger,

It shows no mercy with its embrace, Banishing the warmth in disgrace, We walk on.

The Human Rose by Alex Pierides (8L)

It is winter. The rose has been cut down. Seeds are in the soil, waiting to bloom,

in that wondrous day.

It is spring. The rose has just sprung. It cherishes its red leaves of love and com-

passion, but underneath these petals are thorns of hard times.

It is summer. The rose is now fully in season. Bees flock around its petals to get a

taste of the nectar, but in his nectar, the bee pollinates on the roses behalf.

It is autumn. A dead leaf has covered over the roses’ beauty. It can no longer

show off its petals to the Sun. It spends its last days in the cold, in the damp.

Maybe we aren’t so different from the rose.We awake beautiful with youth, but

conceal our bad deeds.We flourish in our teen and early adulthood years. And

we die old and weary, and we weaved our faults through our lives, but we were

beautiful all the way.

Nature by Nicolo Di Nisio (7E)

In the depths of the forest, where life unfolds,

Animals in a rich and peaceful, silent earth.

Swaying paths where the mind dares to wander.

A river of thought twists through Nature.

Original as lightning slicing the clouds,

Imagination stretches like shadows at dawn,

Reaching beyond the limits of sight,

Grasping at the air in the one, the Nature.

The voice of the leaves as the wind moves through,

Whispering secrets very few can hear.

It brings thoughts formed from silence,

As ancient as beneath our feet, Nature.

In the branches above, where silence runs deep,

The structure of thought in the peace will sleep.

But in every leaf, in each stone and in every tree,

Language finds form, and the soul is set free,

Nature.

Dungeness by Raif N Lee (7R)

The earth must be flat; my barren expanse laid out bare,

Miles and miles of bleak, gunmetal skies.

Buffeting winds lash my face carrying shingle that glints malevolently under the watchful gaze of the sea.

It’s been days, yet wherever I glance, no ground has been covered; none.

I have no hope, just despair.

I shelter the remains of rotting carcasses, hinting at once great seafarers, too cursed for their sins to be cleansed,

Doomed here in purgatory, whilst preying seagulls circle and claw at dwindling hope.

The tide carries whispers mocking the sheer vulnerability and fragility of human flesh,

Those I once trusted,

Those betrothed to a tide that came and went, leaving me abandoned and bitter.

Ahead a lighthouse blinks tauntingly,

Counting down the seconds ‘ til my rasping last breath.

I am Dungeness and my reigning days are over.

It ’ s done. Done. Done.

A Degrading Earth by Boaz Luk (8W)

Pollution! A Wretched of man ’ s intertwines!

A coming world engulfed in black mist -

Where a looming tulip withers and declines,

Where a clear, azure ocean does not exist.

Why ignore the pain of the Mortals ’ cries?

Why take Poseidon ’ s trident, a Keeper of the Tides?

Why parch Flora ’ s daisy, until it dries?

A perfect paradise and Hell collides.

At dusk not dawn, a swan bows his head to Terra.

Soaring his pure wings late, through the darkening skies,

Only one swan faces ten crows - a somber Era!

The crows surround where the wounded lord lies.

Pollution is leading to our demise,

Yet hope is still alive, but the Earth has to rise.

Nature by Baffour Asare Bediako (7R)

Beneath the sky's vast, endless dome, The earth whispers in quiet tone. Through

forests deep and valleys wide, The rivers hum, the mountains glide.

A breeze dances through the trees, Carrying secrets on its ease. Flowers bloom

in colors bright, Kissed by morning’s softest light.

The sun, a painter in the sky, Spreads hues of gold as day draws nigh. The moon,

a watchful silver friend, Guides the stars until the end.

In every leaf, in every stone, The pulse of nature, pure, unknown. A world un-

touched, a breath, a sigh A song that echoes, never shy..

Miles Baylis (7E)

Like the wind that carries the Autumn leaves,

Like the waves that lap at the ocean shore,

The dazzling moon shines in the night, gleaming forevermore.

As the sleek, sly fox walks on the wall,

As the boys in the park laugh and shriek,

A bird picks up a worm in its sharp, tough beak.

Like the smoke that erupts from the factories,

Like the harmful pollution of cars,

Humans are destroying the world they live in like a flickering evening star.

As the days we have in this life diminish even more,

Make one effort to save the planet,

Or we will have one no more.

A Walk in the Peaks by Isaac O ’ Keefe (7L)

Cheeks flushed pink, hands clenched in pockets, woolly hats pulled on tight,

Shoulders hunched against the cold, backs turned to the wind,

In silence we recognize the hues of a beauty so barren,

Moss greens, shrub browns and shale greys all beneath dazzling azure,

Where streaks of silver do battle with the blue.

Slabs of millstone, bursting from the ground,

Amongst them glittering streams, their destination unseen.

The incline slackens and hills turn to fields,

A pair of deer, kicking away in a flash of white, soon gone from eye ’ s sight,

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