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The Disability DIGEST
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July 2025
HOW I LEARNED TO SPEAK UP
GETTING PAST THE PUBLIC SPEAKING JITTERS
When I was in law school, the idea of public speaking terrified me. Moot court competitions were the worst, especially the first minutes when you had to make your argument and hope the judge would interrupt with a question. If they didn’t, your voice might start to shake. Mine did. Looking back, it’s funny to think about how nervous I used to be. These days, I spend most of my time in Social Security hearings and workers’ comp cases talking in front of judges, cross-examining experts, and guiding clients through testimony. And I’m not nervous anymore. What changed? Mostly, I did it enough times that the nerves wore off. A common misconception is that good public speakers are born naturally confident and charismatic. But in my experience,
speaking part — they were about not being ready. I’m fine when I’m fully prepared, have read my client’s file backward and forward, and have had the time to think through everything the judge might ask. If I’ve had to rush my prep, that’s when the nerves sneak back in. Feeling unprepared is a recipe for self- doubt, no matter how many times you’ve done it before. That’s why I always recommend making an outline for any speaking event. I don’t script things word for word because that makes anyone sound stiff. But having a structure to follow keeps you grounded and makes it easier to stay focused. Plus, it keeps you from forgetting something important when your brain starts moving faster than your mouth.
Ultimately, a lot of fear around public speaking comes from the belief that everyone is watching your every move. But they’re not. Most people are too focused on themselves to notice whether your hands are shaking or if your voice cracks for a second. You might feel like everyone can tell you’re nervous, but chances are, they can’t.
it’s more about building your confidence through practice. Whether it’s a courtroom hearing or giving a toast at a wedding, the only way to get better and more comfortable is to learn by doing. And it’s a skill you must
continue to practice. Even seasoned professionals can lose their edge if they go too long without speaking in front of others.
It’s like when you notice a small scratch
I’ve known attorneys who were confident before a judge for years but then went a stretch without a hearing and
on your car that no one ever sees or when you’re convinced a blemish on your face is visible from space, but no one else
suddenly found themselves nervous again. It happens to everyone. One of my former coworkers started going to Toastmasters just to stay sharp. And this is someone who had been practicing law for a long time. I’ve never joined myself, but it’s a great idea. Whether through a business networking group or a local event where you can get a few words in front of a crowd, any low-stakes speaking opportunity helps. And then there’s preparation. That part doesn’t get enough attention. The times I’ve felt most nervous weren’t about the
mentions it. We’re always our own toughest critics.
So, if public speaking makes your heart race, know you’re not alone. With practice, preparation, and a little perspective, it gets easier. And if it doesn’t feel easy yet, that’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to show up, speak up, and trust that you’re doing better than you think.
–Joel Thrift
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SWIPE RIGHT AT ANY AGE
ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR OLDER ADULTS
Online dating can be intimidating at any age, but it can feel like learning a new language and culture for older adults who didn’t grow up using technology. While dating might seem like a younger person’s game, plenty of people your age (and older) are messaging, swiping, and making new personal connections online daily. A common misconception is that online dating is only for the tech-savvy, but most apps are user-friendly and designed to help you learn as you go. Various apps are available — like Bumble, Hinge, or Match — so you can find one that matches your specific goals. Whether you’re looking to meet new friends or want long-term companionship, there’s a platform for you.
Create a profile once you find a dating site that feels like a good fit. Your profile doesn’t need flashy language or complicated details, but it should highlight your values. You’ll also need to include photos. Focus on current pictures that reveal a bit about your personality and interests. After setting up your profile, you’re ready to look for potential dates. This is where things get exciting, but don’t forget to prioritize safety. Early conversations are best kept within the app itself, and always meet people you connect with in public places. Also, don’t let rejections discourage you. Online dating can take some patience, but it can also be fun. Stay open, stay safe, and you just might find someone special.
Nature’s Hidden Network How Plants Talk to Each Other Underground
You probably don’t think of plants as chatty, but they have a lot going on underground. Scientists have discovered that thin fungus threads in the soil connect many plants — nature’s version of the internet. These threads help plants share nutrients and even send messages to one another. The fungi grow around and between plant roots, building a bridge from one plant to the next. If one plant gets sick or bug-bitten, it can send a warning. Neighboring plants “hear” that signal and might boost their defenses. It’s somewhat like a heads- up before a storm.
nutrients around, especially from bigger, well-fed plants to smaller, struggling ones. In return, the fungi get sugars and energy from the plants. It’s a win-win. This hidden teamwork has real-world effects. Farmers and gardeners who know about these underground networks can change how they treat their soil. If the fungi are wiped out — say, by chemicals or heavy digging — plants lose their lifeline. But if the networks stay intact, crops tend to grow better and fight off threats more easily. This is still a growing field of research, but it’s changing how we see plant life. If you want to dig a
little deeper, check out a recent book, “The Light Eaters: How the Unseen World of Plant Intelligence Offers a New Understanding of Life on Earth” by Zoë Schlanger. What looks like a quiet patch of greenery might be a neighborhood full of chatter. You just have to know where to look.
It’s not just gossip, either. These fungal helpers also help shuffle
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TAKE A BREAK
American Bicycle Cherry Fireworks Flag Independence Paddleboard Picnic
Kindness That Lasts
Ruby Stars Sherbet Trampoline
BEING THERE FOR SOMEONE WHO’S STRUGGLING
We’ve all experienced bouts of bad mood and even occasional depression. While difficult to go through, it can be equally challenging to see someone we care about hurting and not know how to help. The main thing to remember is that providing support isn’t about fixing things; it’s about showing up in meaningful ways. Skip the pep talks and listen. For many of us, our initial instinct is to rush to lift our loved one’s spirits and help them break out of a bad mood. However, offering them space and a calm ear is often the best thing we can do. Friendly company can be comforting even if they’re not ready to talk. Just be sure they don’t feel pressure to do or say anything. This might mean bingeing a favorite TV show together or just being with one another in the same room. Focus on small gestures. Along with providing company, you can support your loved one with simple gestures — a phone call, handwritten note, or warm meal. These acts remind them that someone cares and that they are not alone. Continuing to show up for your friend even after the rest of the world has moved on can have an even greater impact. There’s no specific script to follow, but small efforts all add up and may matter more than you’ll ever know. If you have a friend or family member going through a hard time, validating their experience and being present for them can be all they need. While they may not remember what you said, they won’t forget you showed up and stayed when they needed you most.
GARLIC PARMESAN SHRIMP
This recipe is quick, easy, and promises a restaurant-quality meal from your own kitchen. It’s perfect over pasta or a green salad. Impress guests or indulge yourself on a weeknight!
Ingredients
Inspired by CooktopCove.com
• 3 tbsp olive oil • 4 cloves garlic, minced • 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese • 1 tsp Italian seasoning • 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp black pepper • 1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined • 2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley • Juice of 1 lemon
Directions 1. Preheat oven to 400 F. 2. In a bowl, combine olive oil, garlic, Parmesan cheese, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper. 3. Add shrimp to the bowl and toss until fully coated. 4. Arrange the shrimp in a single layer on a baking sheet. 5. Roast in the oven for 7–9 minutes or until the shrimp are pink and slightly golden. 6. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with chopped parsley and fresh lemon juice before serving.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Lessons Learned From Facing a Crowd
1
2
An Older Adult’s Guide to Online Dating
The Surprising Ways Plants Support Each Other
3
Garlic Parmesan Shrimp
The Art of Quiet Kindness
4
One Man’s Very Strange Appetite
MICHEL LOTITO: THE MAN WHO ATE AN AIRPLANE
Would you snack on a bicycle? How about a TV set or a shopping cart? Sounds completely absurd, but Michel Lotito — a French performer known to fans as “Monsieur Mangetout” (Mr. Eat All) — did exactly that. Although he certainly got attention, Lotito wasn’t just looking for it; his peculiar diet came from a rare condition called pica. People with pica crave non-edible objects, though very few act on these cravings. But Michel
an entire Cessna plane, taking two years to finish every last nut and bolt. How did he do it without getting hurt? Carefully and one bite at a time. Michel chopped objects into tiny bits and sipped mineral oil to help everything slide down smoothly. Lotito’s feats earned him a place in the “Guinness Book of World Records,” but his true legacy is simpler: He got people thinking. Scientists, doctors, and everyday observers began to wonder how adaptable — and, frankly, strange — the human body can be.
didn’t hold back. Doctors found he had an unusually strong digestive system and a thick stomach lining. These traits allowed him to safely digest things most people wouldn’t put near their mouths, let alone swallow.
Michel Lotito passed away in 2007 at 57, but his legend lives on. A guy who casually munched on bicycles might seem easy to dismiss, but his “normal” shows us that reality is sometimes far
The list of items Lotito managed to consume is hard to believe. He once famously ate
stranger than fiction.
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