THE K I N G ’ S BUSINESS 1017 Now, don’t argue, brother. Please don’t say that you cannot under stand these seminary men. Remember that you are not supposed to know. You have not been highly enough educated. You have been believing that when the Bible says “ heaven,” it means heaven; and when it says | eter nal punishment,” it means eternal punishment; but, you see, that is a mistake in your education. It means “ heaven” all right, but fire and brimstone” are susceptible of different theological interpretations, we must learn to take our place with our good Catholic brethren. They never think of questioning the authority of the Church. They know that only the Church can interpret the Bible for them, and so we must allow these wonderful, mighty intellectual giants to tell us, all about it._ We ought to be very grateful to them. Just think of their being will ing, with their mighty, intellects, to condescend (for a consideration of ? few thousand dollars a year) to give a few moments to Biblical matters and to the training of our dear ministers and missionaries! , All of this trouble has come from our forefathers taking the bit m their teeth and protesting against the rule of the Pope. Protestantism is a failure. We have been enjoying the bliss of ignorance, believing that the Bible means what it says. Hereafter we need not trouble ourselves to study the Bible. We will just sit and gaze upon the beaming faces of our theologians who, even if they do not believe the Bible or teach it, do tell us so many sweet and charming things; read poems so beautifully; tell such wonderful jokes and entertain us so delightfully, and demand so little from us excepting the surrender of our poor undeveloped intellects and our little offerings. Beloved, how ungrateful we have been! How, ignorant we have been! Let us rejoice now and be glad, for a new day has dawned upon the Church. The seminaries have settled it. Cease to be a Protestant, and be willing ' and grateful to be a Puppet.
Let us, then, be up and doing, Things unorthodox each day ; Ripping Gospels up and strewing Old beliefs along the way! Be not like dumb, driven cattle,— That would be a foolish crime. Flout the Holy Bible,—that’ll Make you famous every time!” (Sel.) T. C. H.
HELP! Help! Help! Audacious audacity! A robber entered the room of the Police Court in Los Angeles and robbed the safe of $25,000.00. In the room underneath were a number of the flying squadron, heavily armed, awaiting emergency calls; but they did not hear the gentleman in the room above. Hark! Listen! Can you hear anything? Don’t you hear the cracksman? He is stealing the souls of men. He has on a professor’s garb or a preacher’s gown. He is deadening the sounds. He is telling the boys and girls, the young men and women and the older ones that in the twentieth century no one with brains believes in the Bible stories; that God couldn’t make
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