Stamp Scandal and Starlet Strife INSIDE FIERCE CELEBRITY FEUDS
WHEN CONVERSATIONS GET TOUGH
TOOLS FOR HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP TALKS
If you think today’s celebrity gossip is crazy, these tales of tantrums from the famous make our current news feeds seem tame by comparison!
MARK TWAIN’S MAILROOM MELTDOWN In 2011, late literary giant Mark Twain received the posthumous honor of being the subject of a commemorative postage stamp by the U.S. Postal Service. While Twain’s legendary status in American culture made him an ideal candidate for the tribute, these events likely would have made him turn in his grave. You see, Twain absolutely despised the Postal Service. For decades, he railed against the institution publicly in newspaper columns, criticizing it for everything, from high costs to consumers to what he perceived as outrageously egregious regulations. He once even expressed his indignation over the Postal Service’s decision to require a street address and state on outgoing mail in addition to the previously required name and city. Why? He thought adding these words was a waste of time and ink! As he wrote in a letter to the Hartford Courant in 1897, “Isn’t it odd that we should take a spasm, every now and then, and go spinning back into the dark ages once more, after having put in a world of time and money and work toiling up into the high lights of modern progress?” Beautifully written? Unquestionably. A tad overdramatic as a response to a minor rule change for mailing letters? Perhaps, but what else could one expect when earning the ire of one of history’s most celebrated wordsmiths? RUTHLESS GLAMOUR GIRLS Few celebrity feuds have ever been as intense as the fiery conflict between screen legends Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. The two women were savage competitors for decades, sparring over everything from public attention to lovers. Just as a massive press campaign launched in support of Davis’ 1933 film “Ex-Lady,” Crawford made headlines by announcing her divorce from Douglas Fairbanks Jr. The focus on Crawford’s failed marriage tanked Davis’ film, which received minuscule media attention compared to Crawford’s gossip-generating announcement. Two years later, Davis fell in love with actor Franchot Tone on the set of the film “Dangerous.” Unfortunately, Tone soon directed his affection toward another famous lady. Any guess as to whom?
Some of the most important conversations in life can also be the hardest, especially when emotions are already running high. When you talk to a romantic partner or an ex you are co-parenting with, meaningful discussions can often spiral into an argument. Through active listening, empathy, and recognizing our own emotions in the moment, we can go into these talks better prepared for a positive outcome.
ACTIVE LISTENING In our recent interview with Jessica Jeans, a marriage and family therapist and owner of Guided by Grace, she said that in any conversation, there is a giver and a receiver. One person holds space for the other so they can express their emotions fully and feel heard. One key to navigating difficult conversations is using those active listening skills. This means trying to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, being present, and asking how you can support them rather than jumping to “fix” the problem. Both people should get a turn to share and to listen. DEALING WITH THE EMOTIONS It’s normal to feel emotions as we talk things out; in fact, we are hardwired to, often going into fight-or-flight mode, which triggers a physiological response. Instead of stuffing those feelings down, we need to understand them, address them, and communicate them with the right vocabulary. We all have needs, and our anger or sadness might actually stem from a sense of loss or feeling stuck. The more clearly you can identify to your partner what you feel and what you need, the better they can offer the right support. You may be seeking safety, comfort, or just to know they are paying attention. TALKING TIPS In the moment, as you’re giving someone the space to express themselves, it can feel challenging not to interrupt or feel overwhelmed by your emotions as they come. Remember to breathe, which can help regulate your own nervous system. It can be helpful to have a notebook so you can jot things down to return to after the other person finishes speaking. Set some boundaries before the conversation even begins, like how much time you have available.
“She took him from me,” Davis reportedly said in an interview more than 50 years later. “She did it coldly, deliberately, and with complete ruthlessness.”
In the end, the only thing longer than these ladies’ on-screen highlights was their off- screen resentment.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!
The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com
If you want to hear more tips on better communication with your partner, visit StayMarriedFlorida.com .
2 • BrucePA.com
Made with FlippingBook Ebook Creator