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I Learned From Watching You!
lights. They were multicolored opaque lights that you could fry an egg on.
Sure, you may be thinking that this all sounds within the acceptable norms of behavior, but let me tell you about the “Brownies.” For those uninitiated in elf culture, the Brownies are mystical, gift- toting elves who like to get a head start on Santa, and they are the primary reason I am unable to process Christmas rationally as an adult. You see, right around Thanksgiving, the Brownies keep a watchful eye. If you are a particularly good child (and let’s face it, sometimes a not-so-good child), the Brownies will drop off a present or two or three prior to Christmas (as if Santa weren’t enough). Oddly enough, just like mom, the Brownies love Christmas music. The louder, the better. You knew the Brownies paid you a visit when a certain Christmas song started blaring throughout the house. In our house, it was the “Happy Christmas Medley” off of the widely acclaimed 1974 Living Voices LP (you’ll probably have to look that one up). It has been a few years since the Brownies have visited my house, but rumor has it that Alexa may receive some requests for the Living Voices when JB stops by Nana and Papi’s house. So, it continues. I hope you all have a blessed Hanukkah and merry Christmas this holiday season. Be on the lookout for our next newsletter; we have some exciting news to share!
I have a Christmas problem — the obnoxious, playing Christmas music in September kind of problem. It’s a “Let’s put the tree up on Halloween” kind of problem, and it absolutley drives my wife nuts. Though, like most maladjusted husbands, it’s hardly my fault. My intemperance did not manifest on its own. Only a mom can cause a son to sink to such levels of depravity. “It starts innocently enough. Some Williams and Ives on the record player, gradually escalating to the three C’s: Crosby, Cole, and Como, to thoroughly embed the hook.”
It starts innocently enough. Some Williams and Ives on the record player, gradually escalating to the three C’s: Crosby, Cole, and Como, to thoroughly embed the hook. Of course, this is just the preamble. Candles in the window, carols at the spinet. It is one week from Thanksgiving Day, and my mom is in desperate need of a little Christmas. started early. Holly, stockings, garlands, and mistletoe were all represented. However, like most families, the tree was at the epicenter. When it came to giving our tree the trim, there were a few non-negotiables: 1) It will be a balsam fir; 2) No branch remains bare; 3) There will be tinsel; and 4) Keep the fire extinguisher close. Let’s just say that we liked our lights, and they weren’t just any Decorating for Christmas was a matter of sanctitude in our household, and we
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