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OCTOBER 2018
HEALTHY, WEALTHY,
&Wise
1 Denver Federal Center Building 45, Entrance E-9, Room 1050 Lakewood, CO 80225
Monsters Are Scarier WHEN YOU CAN’T SEE THEM
In most horror movies, the villain is much scarier when they remain off-screen. That’s because the fears we project onto the unknown will always worry us more than the adversaries we actually have to face. Don’t get me wrong — I bet it’s mighty terrifying to have to run from a monster. But it will never be as nerve-wracking as not knowing what the monster is and where it’s lurking. When you’ve yet to identify your foe, even the slightest disturbance — a creaking door, a gust of wind, a branch rubbing against a window — could be a sign of your impending doom. Strangely enough, that’s the exact same way rumors and scare tactics work for federal employees. There is always something scary lurking just outside of your field of vision. Maybe you hear a rumor about downsizing or read about proposals to massively scale back the federal workforce. In the past few years, those noises have only gotten louder. Many of your coworkers are more than happy to stoke the flames of anxiety, turning speculation and concern into fear. The problem arises when you begin to make the monsters larger and more menacing than they are. When I see statistics stating that federal retirements are up 15.6 percent over last year, I can’t
help but think that more than a few people got the jitters and felt the need to retire earlier than they had planned. At the time, that might’ve seemed a wise precautionary measure — a way to avoid the storm before it arrived. Now however, when it looks like the major change that will occur for federal employees is a pay freeze, those who rushed to retirement may be feeling pangs of regret. THE PROBLEM ARISES WHEN YOU BEGIN TO MAKE THE MONSTERS LARGER AND MORE MENACING THAN THEY ARE. WHEN I SEE STATISTICS STATING THAT FEDERAL RETIREMENTS ARE UP 15.6 PERCENT OVER LAST YEAR, I CAN’T HELP BUT THINK THAT MORE THAN A FEW PEOPLE GOT THE JITTERS AND FELT THE NEED TO RETIRE EARLIER THAN THEY HAD PLANNED. This attitude is somewhat understandable. I’d be willing to bet that, at some point in your career, you’ve had a task or responsibility land on your desk without warning. Maybe a coworker retired or changed positions and you were tasked with doing the work of another for an indefinite period of time. Perhaps you were
given a project that you were not expecting at all, only to have to manage it in addition to your regular workload. It happens all the time, and can make you feel powerless to forces outside your control. When you focus solely on those forces, they tend to become spookier than they need be. While there are countless things you can’t control with regard to your career, there are just as many that you can control. Take time to make a plan — one that’s not based on watercooler gossip. This plan will help keep you grounded in times of turmoil, and those noises around the office will feel less ominous and more like garden-variety creaks and groans. Every career has its scary moments. Odds are you’ve faced many more serious threats than speculations about policy change and downsizing. So don’t let a potential threat turn into something larger and spookier than it is. Maintaining a sense of perspective will make all the difference.
–Ann Vanderslice
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One Happy Camper
LAURA MARK’S ADVENTURES IN RETIREMENT
“When I made the decision to retire, one of my major concerns was losing my sense of community,” says Laura Mark, who completed 38 years of service with the USDA Forest Service in 2016. “I was blessed to have had a career I loved and coworkers who were family, but it required me to make big changes in retirement.” Laura remembers the first months of her post-work life being especially jarring. “I must admit, I felt disconnected for the first six months after I retired,” she recalls. “I’m not the type of person who makes decisions on a whim, so I basically spent the first year after I retired thinking about what the next chapter in my life was going to be. I got thinking back to Ann’s class on ‘What to Do When Every Day Is Saturday’ and asking myself what I really wanted from life.” After this intermediary period, however, Laura’s new life took shape quite naturally. “I always knew that I wanted to move somewhere rural after I retired, somewhere where you know your neighbors and there’s a real sense of community,” she explains. “I also wanted to participate in volunteer work, as that’s always been part of the fiber of my being.” With these twin goals in mind, all Laura needed to do was find the place to pursue them. The revelation about the “where” came somewhat unexpectedly. “About a year ago, I was visiting some friends in Durango on a holiday weekend,” she says. “While hanging out, the subject of my potential move came up. Out of the blue, my friend asked me, ‘Have you checked out our neighbor’s place?’ Turns out there was a house for sale in the same subdivision. It was smaller than the one I had been living in, and it was on 3.5 acres of land, had a beautiful view, and offered the built-in community of living near two of my best friends. Needless to say, I was convinced and bought the house.” Because Laura didn’t want to move in winter — and neither did the current resident — the house remained in escrow for nine months. That was perfect for Laura, as it gave her time to work on
remodeling her old house, something she is passionate about. Did all the hard work pay off? “Well, my house sold in a day,” Laura says, so we’re thinking it did. Upon arriving in Durango, Laura’s life took shape pretty quickly. “I began volunteering at Spring Creek Horse Rescue, and it’s been immensely rewarding,” she says. “I’ve loved horses since I was a little girl, but I did not have time to enjoy them when I had a full-time job. Helping these animals find new, loving homes has given me a renewed sense of purpose. It’s unbelievable.”
When she’s not at Spring Creek, you can probably find Laura doing projects at home. “I’m building a shop for leatherworking, another dormant hobby, as well as installing sliding glass doors to make sure I get as much of that view as possible. Aside from that, I’m spending time with my two dogs, hiking, camping, traveling and just enjoying life. I’ll tell you one thing: I’m never bored.” Looking back on the two and a half years of retirement, Laura is so happy with the way everything has taken shape. “I never thought about what could go wrong in retirement, only what could go right,” she concludes. “While there were definitely tough moments, I think I timed everything perfectly. I’m one happy camper.”
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The Real Cost of Assisted Living
HIDDEN FEES AND ADDED SERVICES
and their families, it can be difficult to parse exactly what you’ll be paying for. The pricing structure and contract details require careful consideration before you decide on an appropriate facility for your loved one. Prices for assisted living facilities vary significantly. Because they offer a slew of services, you need to be fully aware of what you’re paying for. The base price you are quoted will usually include rent, meals, and activities offered on the premises. Some companies may offer a few additional basic services included in this cost, but as a rule, you can expect that any extra services will increase the price. Add-ons for assisted living services can range from basic hygiene needs to medical costs. If your loved one needs help dressing, you can expect an additional fee. The same goes for medication reminders, escorts to meals, incontinence care, and many other
services. On-site activities are usually folded into the base rate, but be sure of that before signing. Access to a gym, pool, or pharmacy, for example, may incur extra charges. One advantage of the pricing model of assisted living facilities is that you can add services at any time. Many care facilities house seniors of varying health and ability levels. In the event that your loved one needs more services, they are easy to add to your payment package. However, it’s important that you read the terms and conditions detailing any services you decide to include. Otherwise, you may end up paying for a service your loved one doesn’t need. The most important piece of advice when it comes to the hidden costs of assisted living is to read your contract thoroughly. You can also consult an estate planning or elder law attorney to ensure that you’re fully aware of all charges and possible future costs.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the population of seniors is growing. Projections indicate that 56 million seniors will inhabit the country by 2020 and 74 million by 2030. As the number of seniors increases, so does the need for senior living facilities. While you can still find plenty of traditional nursing homes, assisted living facilities have soared in popularity over the years. While this type of community has many benefits for seniors
Train Your
BRAIN!
Inspired by Food Network Homemade Marshmallows INGREDIENTS
• 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt • 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract • Powdered sugar, to coat
• 3 packages unflavored gelatin • 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar • 1 cup light corn syrup
DIRECTIONS
1. In a mixing bowl, combine gelatin and 1/2 cup cold water. Let sit while you make the syrup. 2. In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, syrup, salt, and 1/2 cup water until the sugar dissolves. 3. Raise heat to high and bring syrup up to 240 F, using a candy thermometer to check for temperature. 4. With an electric whisk on low speed, slowly whisk syrup into gelatin mixture. Switch speed to high and whip for 15 minutes, until very thick. Fold in vanilla after whipping. 5. Dust a nonmetal baking dish with powdered sugar and spoon mixture into dish. Smooth mixture, top with more powdered sugar, and let stand uncovered overnight. 6. Cut into squares, decorate, and serve.
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issue INSIDE THIS The Unknown Threat PAGE 1
Notes From a Rural Retirement PAGE 2 Hidden Costs of Assisted Living PAGE 3 Homemade Marshmallows PAGE 3 3 of the Weirdest Cryptids in Pseudoscientific History PAGE 4
THE MONSTERS SOME BELIEVE ARE REAL 3 of the Weirdest Cryptids in Pseudoscientific History
THE BUNYIP When European settlers began edging into the territory of Aboriginal Australians, they heard whispered, frightened tales of a man-eating “water spirit” that lived in the lakes and rivers of the area. Descriptions of the creature varied wildly. The monster was alternately described as an enormous starfish, an alligator-like creature with the head of an emu, or a massive bulldog-faced beast. But accounts held one thing in common: The monster claimed the lives of any who dared camp near its watery domain. THE LOVELAND FROG One night, near Loveland, Ohio, a man reportedly beheld a trio of bipedal frog-people slapping their webbed feet along the side of the road. If that wasn’t enough, one even had a magic wand, which shot sparks as the man ran off. Apparently, not all mythical beasts are bloodthirsty monsters; some are a little more Kermit than Cthulhu.
There are people who would have you believe that monsters live among us all year long. These individuals, referred to as cryptozoologists (or just “wishful thinkers” by their skeptics), believe a hidden animal kingdom exists just beyond the edge of mainstream biological science. Here are three of the weirdest, almost-certainly imaginary “cryptids” to ever capture the human imagination. THE JERSEY DEVIL According to legend, the 1.1 million-acre Pine Barrens of southern New Jersey are home to more than just birds and deer. The story goes that when one Jane Leeds gave birth to her 13th child, she was dismayed to add yet another kid to her responsibilities. She cried out, “Oh, let this one be the devil!” Shortly after the child was born, the boy was transmogrified into a twisted creature with the malformed head of a goat, leathery wings, and a thrashing, forked tail. After slicing the midwife with its ragged claws, the beast flew up the chimney and fled into the trees. Hundreds of years later, the beast is still said to creep the backwoods on its cloven hooves, glowering from the blackness with shining, red eyes.
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