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Dispatches from the Highlands
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CAMPSTEIN'S COLLECTION INDUCTED Museum to Host Exhibit of Late Dankmatician
A er decades of ownership by a slew of private collectors, a new cache of items used by historic genius Steve “ e Camptstein” Einstein have been inducted into the CannaTown Museum of Science and Cannatechnol- ogy. At a ceremony Saturday, Einstein’s notebook, cheeng jacket, and shards of his laboratory bub- bler were on display for the public, along with other legendary oce items including his giant bean bag chair and extensive Wesley Willis record collection.
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Steve, lesser-known brother of Albert Einstein, established his own recognized eory of Dankativity a er parting ways with his sibling. e two had famously disagreed on what caused inertia--Steve argued that the answer, simply, was ‘Kush’--and insisted on moving into di erent sciences. He was infamous for camping on bowls. Once, it was reported, he spent three full nights camping, bowl in hand, only breaking from his trance to jot a few notes down, then camped again for a week. It would have been the kind of thing that sent cadets in his age straight to the institution for a mental exam -- or at least, got you skipped in the circle -- except that this type of behavior was typical of him. “You couldn’t pass to ol’ Campstein unless you were cool with pausing the circle-smake for at least a day,” said local historian Dana Charonic at the ceremony. O en criticized sharply for his terrible “habit,” it was only a er his death that dankness experts began to realize just how many calculations he’d been making every time he camped. "None, no calculations," Charonic noted. “Most of his research just involved him sitting there, in deep thought,” Over time, Campstein found less friends and circles to smake
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