with D r. Clyde M . Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in the United States.
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CLUMSY CHILD Q. Our 13-year-old boy is very clum sy. He is always stumbling, dropping things and bumping into people. His father makes fun of him and criticizes him. Don’t you think he just makes matters worse by doing this? A. You’ll never help your boy by em barrassing and criticizing him. It will make the situation worse. Further more, it’s not the Christian thing to do. In God’s Word we are taught: “ Fathers provoke not your children to wrath.” Boys and girls have a tendency to be awkward at your son’s age. This comes from uneven growth, especially in the hands and feet. Not long ago I talked with a man who said that when he was 13 years old, he wore size seven shoes, but before the year had ended, he wore size 11! He also said that all during that year he was fearful of falling, so he managed to stay near objects large enough to catch him in case he should fall. He told me that he didn’t realize at the time what his difficulty was. He was so ashamed of his clumsiness that he never told any one how inferior he felt. No doubt your son will be less clumsy as he grows older. But now is the time to encourage him to de velop better coordination. Show him how to walk so that he will not shuffle liis feet. Demonstrate how to pick up and hold different objects. Try to interest him in games, typing, swim ming, etc. The more experience he has in using his hands and feet, the bet ter control he will have over them. Another suggestion 1— encourage him in his spiritual development. There is nothing that will give a per son more confidence than being saved, and growing in spiritual stature. BAD BOY Q. I am writing because I need help with my 12-year-old son. He is in the sixth grade and he could make all A’s but he just “ horses around” and gets several demerits and makes C s
to them. Even when he does play with them he is very destructive. Not long ago 1 bought him some crdyons and that evening I found marks all over the wallpaper and furniture. He seems to delight in taking toys apart and breaking them. A. You cannot take for granted that a child knows how to play with each new toy that you give him. As a par ent it is your responsibility to take time to show him how to use his toys. If you do not do this he will certain ly figure out some way of amusing himself with his toys and very often it will be destructive. If you had shown your boy how to use. crayons and had taken time to help him use color books or large sheets of paper, your walls and furniture would not have been marked up. OLDER MEN AND YOUNG GIRLS Q. Is there any help for a peculiar condition in an older man, that he seems to be especially attracted to very young girls? He has an unseem ly desire for little girls from about four to nine years of age. I believe he neither fu lly realizes this condition in himself, nor has control over it. W e must find help for him, and a solution to this prob lem somewhere. Can you refer me to some reliable source for help on this matter? A. Undoubtedly, there are psycholog ical causes for this behavior. I would suggest that you or someone talk with him kindly about the matter, encour aging him to see a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist can discover the physical a n d psychological causes which prompt such actions. Actually, there are quite a number of people like this man you mention, and there is help for them. Of course, he needs spiritual coun sel too. This is of utmost importance. I feel certain that almost any well- trained psychiatrist would be happy to share his findings with the man’s pastor, who in turn can work with the man more effectively. THE KING'S BUSINESS
and D’s. A t times he is defiant to his parents. Recently he was caught at school with “stogies” in his pocket, which he was keeping for a friend. He told me about it before anybody else had a chance to report it to me. When I asked him about it, h e said, “I am so stupid, Mama. How could I let that guy persuade me to do it?” He tells me he really wants to be a good Christian boy. When 1 re minded him that I love him as much as his older brother and sister who are outstanding Christian young people, he said, “I know you do, Mama. When I say that you don’t love me, well, 1 am just not thinking straight.” What are your suggestions? A. It is interesting to note in your letter that your son’s older brother and sister are both outstanding Chris tians, preparing for full-time Chris tian service. Since you and your hus band are both Christians, you no doubt have sufficient spiritual insight to understand the spiritual problems which may exist. However, there may be a number of other reasons why your boy is malad justed. The causes may be physical, intellectual, social or emotional. Many children would make a good adjustment in life except for the fact that they have a physical difficulty which prevents them from doing any better than they do. It is my suggestion that you make a request of your local school princi pal to have a conference with your school psychologist. No doubt the psy chologist will be happy to make a complete case study of your son, ad ministering several good standard ized tests. Then the psychologist will share his findings with you. The best way to understand a person is to study him, and I suspect that your boy needs this kind of professional help. LEARNING TO PLAY Q. Our greatest problem with our lit tle boy is getting him to play with his toys. He doesn’t pay much attention
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