looked into egg freezing and decided to hedge my bets and take the stress away. I realized even if I met my person today, I would still want time to explore and get to know them before I even began to think about kids. I still don’t really know what I am doing, [because] dating is confusing and complicated. I don’t think that will really change much, but at least this way I won’t have that worry. I have options.” Since having her own eggs frozen, Lannon has noticed a change in the way she views dating. “I had my first, casual relationship after [freezing my eggs],” she says. “We were in two different cities. Eventually, he realized he didn’t want anything serious but still wanted to hang out and be casual. Previously, if I’d heard that, I would have cut my losses and left and moved on, but I was open to seeing what happened. Before, if after the first date I couldn’t see myself marrying that person, I wouldn’t have continued. Now, I ammore accepting of seeing what happens.”
procedure, as well as information about the clinic. Freeze Health provides answers to patient’s frequently asked questions by doctors who have performed the procedure. Lannon says, “We want to provide a service to women to help save them time, save themmoney, and to provide more options. Some busy women don’t have time to wait on the phone for an answer. Some women would rather be able to access the information whenever they want it.” In the last few years, large companies like Google, Apple, and Facebook have started offering egg freezing as a part employees’ health benefits. With such large companies investing in support of their employees’ personal choice to map out their family timelines, it comes as no surprise that advisory firmWillis Towers Watson reported “of 400 companies representing 7 million employees, 66 percent of the employers expected to offer fertility benefits by 2019 as compared to 55 percent in 2017.”
The procedure itself is expensive, but having and raising kids costs more. According to CNN, as of 2015, the average cost of raising one child until the age of 17 is $233,610 in the United States. (Yes, that excludes college tuition.) That is more than the average amount someone pays to attend a private university for four years, and young adults are just beginning to pay off those loans. Who has the financial means to pay more than $230,000 for each child? Not many people. This is why many young women want to pursue freezing their eggs, so that whenever they decide to start their family, they’ll have healthy eggs.
The majority of Millennials aren’t in committed relationships. They are simply “talking” to someone who they could maybe end up in a relationship with, but they are “casual” in case they find someone better. The Millennial generation has adopted the perspective that there is always something better out there. Whether it’s a better apartment, a better job, a better coffee shop, or even a better person to date. With the rise in activity on social media and a new world of dating apps, people think that with a few swipes there could be a hotter, nicer, kinder person out there to date. Knowing that you can be dropped by the person you are talking to in a second without warning has
Achieving financial stability is not the only reason women may be postponing mother- hood. Dating sucks— now more than ever. Before, all you needed to worry about was going out to a bar or a coffee shop to find a prospective match, then whether or not they would call for a date. Now, we swipe. That is just the start of it, though. Now, you have to be casual when talking to someone, but not too casual. Available, but not too available. You aren’t dating, you are simply “talking:” the ultimate grey zone. For Lannon, like many Millennial women, there were various factors in deciding to have her eggs frozen, but one of largest reasons was her relationship status. When asked how the dating world impacted her decision to freeze her own eggs, Lannon said, “I have always been that person in my friend group who was looking for something serious romantically. Looking at my sister, who is already married and has two kids and she is only four years older than me, I realized it wasn’t happening on the timeline I expected. So, I really
created new levels of anxiety and uncertainty. This lack of certainty in the world of dating has driven a lot of women to freeze their eggs, even if they are in a serious relationship. At the end of the day, they don’t necessarily know if this person is “the one” or if their relationship will work out; they want their options open. Reflecting on what egg freezing means for young women, Lannon says, “This is a very exciting time. Don’t let others influence what you do with your body. There is no guarantee that by doing this you will get pregnant, but it is definitely an option we didn’t always have before.” Social egg freezing is just another example of women being unapologetically in charge of their own bodies, and their own reproductive decisions. Is it wise for a woman to keep herself today for tomorrow, and not put all her eggs in one basket?
Illustration by Sarah Ditterline
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