Chapter 1. Choose to Change
But he was not ready for lasting change. He had moments when he was, but only when others made him feel temporarily fulfilled. His inner peace and happiness was 100% dependent on other people— a disaster waiting to happen. I realized early in life that my dad was haunted by a terrible childhood of physical and mental abuse. These events left him with scars he was unaware of and set so many limiting beliefs in him. He was fearful, frustrated, and had poor decision-making skills. No one had shown him another way, until I did my best to let him see the different path his future could take. By then, he had so many years of practicing life the wrong way, it was hard to even give him advice on the possibilities for a right way. Core Attribute #9 Totally Fulfilled people are flexible—they understand that some changes are inevitable, some they can see on the hori- zon and prepare for, and others will surprise them. No matter the kind of change, they adapt and grow and not retreat and wither. I learned a lot of great things from my dad, some of which were what not to do. I know this may sound funny, but I’ve tried to set a good example with my dad. I’ve tried to help himmake a change, some- times without letting him know I was planting seeds in his head, hoping they would grow. I like using simple analogies, and one I often repeat to my dad is, “Dad, it’s like being in a canoe paddling upstream. You’re trying to get to a destination, yet you hit a section of the stream where you can’t move. You paddle and paddle every day but have no luck. All I ask is that you try another route because this one is not allowing you to advance. Try changing your approach. Try going to another part of the stream. You might hit another tough
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