Chapter 14. Change the Association—Change Your Life
“Okay,” I said. “Well, guess what? Rewind 25 years, and you can grant that wish to yourself right now .” I could tell I hit a nerve. Now that she was open to it, I went on to briefly explain to her that, in her mind, she had linked smok- ing to good things and quitting to bad things. All she had to do was to associate different things with both. What if, instead of your current thoughts, you attached smoking to having smelly breath, hair, and hands. Even worse, you were ignoring a serious health issue that you knew was killing you? If you quit, you could be a role model for others. You can be around to see your family, your children and your children’s chil- dren. You have a greater chance of living a longer, healthier life. You would be in control of your decisions. You could feel good that you are looking after the 50-year-old version of you. To quit would mean more happiness, the opportunity to learn a new way to deal with any stress, to exercise and eat right for It’s all about changing the associations we have with any- thing we want to change, quit, or start. If you change the meaning, you can break the habit. In the case of a habit or addiction, you can trick your mind into realizing that the painful part is continuing the habit, and stopping will bring you pleasure. That is all your mind needs to quit. This “change the association” tool applies to any change you want to make. Associate positive things and out- comes with what needs to be changed and negative associations with things staying as they are. Before I was done with her, I said, “Okay. Really fast, write down ten benefits to you and the people around you of quitting smoking.” She wrote them down in a minute. Then I said, “Now quickly write down five things that benefit you and people around It’s all about changing the associations we have with anything we want to change, quit, or start. optimal weight, to walk up stairs without being winded, and to be proud of yourself. What’s more important to you? Sucking on a butt, or living your life?
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