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WHEN LIFE KNOCKS YOU DOWN, ‘GET UP’ DISCOVERING STRENGTH IN LIFE’S HARDEST MOMENTS
A difficult family decision, the loss of a job, an unexpected expense, or just a feeling of being stuck without clear direction anymore — we have all been there before. Life can knock us down when we least expect it, leaving us questioning how to move forward. But, when we fall, no matter how much it may hurt, that’s a place where we can truly discover our strength and resilience. National Get Up Day is on Feb. 1, and it’s a reminder of the power we possess to rise back up, learn, and grow from every fall, even when we feel as though the odds are stacked against us. Even the simplest example from a favorite Disney movie of our daughter’s provides a great example. Think about Anna in the movie “Frozen,” after she learns that her sister is gone because Olaf’s magic has disappeared. She is at the bottom of a cave, looking up at a small beam of light, trapped and totally alone. Sure, she could have remained there and wallowed in her pity. But if she stayed in that dark and isolated cave, she would have died there.
Instead, she focuses upward on “the next right thing.” Anna went on to save the forest people and her town, and later, she saved her sister. If she had not refocused her mindset or “got herself up,” there would not have been a happy Disney ending. Early in his career, Christopher was in a similar situation. Having graduated from the University of Florida with an accounting degree and Florida State University Law with a Juris Doctorate, he was determined to set his career on tax and bond financing. He secured one of the top, highest-paying law firm jobs in Palm Beach County, but it proved to be at the wrong time. A few months after graduating and starting work, the 2008 recession hit. He found himself out of a job at a time when law jobs were not being advertised. (The Florida Bar had maybe five jobs in total advertised, some of which were out of state, whereas now there are over 100.) Everyone was hiring unpaid “interns,” and the few paid positions offered very low salaries, barely enough after paying student loans. It was a bleak time. Faced with this reality, Christopher did not give up. After scouring every job lead available, he landed an attorney position with a divorce and family law firm in North Palm Beach. There, he learned to litigate (having read numerous books and taken Continuing Legal Education classes on trial preparation), gained his own client base through referrals and satisfied clients, achieved the highly coveted board certification recognition in Matrimonial and Family Law from the Florida Bar (and now helps lead the committee), and wrote five books on divorce and family law topics. He achieved all of this in the years following the Great Recession and at a time when he could have given in. Instead, he “got up.” Getting up was the best thing he ever did. We now share a wonderful family together and a booming law firm where we take pride in helping clients transition to a happier and healthier life. So, if you feel hopeless, have fallen off your intended path, or feel like everything is working against you, remember that the human spirit can persevere and is incredibly resilient. Do not give up. Get up! –Ashley and Christopher Bruce
“Getting Up” at Mount Wilson in Sedona, AZ, elevation 7,122 feet
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THE BIZARRE HISTORY OF THE BURSTING TEETH
DENTAL DETONATIONS FROM THE PAST
People love unsolved mysteries, as shown by the steady stream of new podcasts and TV shows about cold cases. Now, to the annals of mysteries like “Who invented Bitcoin?” or “What really happened to Amelia Earhart?” add this riddle for the ages:
What caused the mystery of the exploding teeth?
Embrace Self-Love This Valentine’s Day HEALING HEARTS Valentine’s Day isn’t just about couples’ dinners or flowers; it can be a beautiful opportunity to celebrate the most important relationship in your life — the one you have with yourself. If you have recently left behind a toxic relationship, it can be easy to stray from your true self and the things that bring you joy. As you start to explore what you want next, it’s essential to rediscover the things that make you happy. From treating yourself to a new class to a little extra pampering, there are excellent ways you can celebrate self-love this Valentine’s Day. HOBBIES THAT HEAL THE HEART After a breakup, it’s a great time to return to your favorite hobbies or discover new ones. Participating in hobbies makes you feel good about yourself and gives you a venue to express yourself and learn new skills. If you enjoy painting, gift yourself an art class or join a book club to explore new stories and make friends. When we explore our passions, it helps us develop our own sense of purpose. REIGNITE YOUR INNER GLOW Taking care of yourself and prioritizing your well-being are the ultimate feats of self-love. Treat yourself to a little extra pampering this month. You could set up a full spa day, get a new haircut, receive a massage, or buy a new outfit for a special occasion. Give yourself at least 10–15 minutes of “you time” every day where the focus is relaxing. You can take a long bath, walk in your neighborhood, turn on your favorite tunes, or curl up with a book. Make sure to treat your mind with positive affirmations, too. PRACTICE YOUR SELF-LOVE LANGUAGE As you embark on a journey of self-love, you can apply the five love languages — physical touch, acts of service, quality time, gift-giving, and words of affirmation — to yourself. Wear a nice lotion or treat yourself to soft new PJs. Do something nice for yourself, like cleaning the house or preparing a healthy meal. Spend some time journaling or watching your favorite comedy. Buy yourself a little present or write a kind letter to yourself.
About a half dozen times during the 19th century, people were beset by agonizing dental pain followed by an explosion of a tooth, according to scientific journal articles reported by the BBC. In the first case, a clergyman in 1817 reported an ache in a canine tooth so intense as to drive him wild, according to a Pennsylvania dentist’s journal article. The reverend ran around trying to escape the pain, drilling his head into the ground and immersing it in a cold spring, to no avail. “All at once, a sharp crack, like a pistol shot, burst his tooth to fragments, giving him instant relief,” the article said. In another case, a woman a few miles away suffered severe pain in a tooth that ended “by bursting with report, giving immediate relief,” the dentist wrote. In a third case, in 1855, a woman reported that one of her canine teeth spontaneously split open “a sudden sharp report,” again leading to instant relief, the article said. Correspondence published in the British Dental Journal told of similar cases, including one recorded in 1871 by a different American dentist. He reported treating a woman whose molar “bursted (sic) with a concussion and report that well-nigh knocked her over” with a sound loud enough to deafen her for a few days, the correspondence said.
The cause of these dental detonations isn’t clear. The Pennsylvania dentist who reported the three initial cases suspected that a buildup of gas within the teeth may have triggered the eruptions, but modern experts say that notion arises from a misunderstanding of what causes tooth decay at that time. Some suggest that a mixture of metals in dental fillings may have caused a buildup of pressure, but there is little evidence to support that hunch. Or, the patients may simply have been exaggerating their symptoms. But without other explanations, the mystery of the exploding teeth remains unsolved.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!
The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com
This Valentine’s Day and beyond, remember that you deserve love and happiness.
2 • BrucePA.com
ORGANIZING FINANCES FOR A NEW CHAPTER BUDGETING FOR A FRESH START
SET YOUR GOALS Though many people want to figure out what they want next in life after the divorce proceedings, it’s best to start determining that ahead of your split. Identify personal and financial goals you have for your single life. You can work with a therapist to help you explore your dreams and what it will take to achieve them. Consider the assets that belong to you and determine if you will have any significant costs arise, like putting down a security deposit on a new home or rental. BUDGET Creating an after-divorce budget will help ensure you are financially prepared to be on your own. First, you need to make a current budget that accounts for the marital expenses and income. Once you understand your current finances, start evaluating how much financial support you or your spouse may need in the form of alimony or child support. Try to be as exact as possible on your figures so you have a clear picture of your needs. At Bruce Law Firm, we have various resources available to help you prepare for your divorce. Visit BrucePA.com/books to download our free e-book, “The Women’s Guide to Getting Organized for Divorce,” for tips and budgeting spreadsheets. You can find more workbooks, calculators, and budgeting tools on BrucePA.com/forms .
If you are contemplating a divorce this February, you’re not alone. Many women find themselves rethinking their relationships after the holidays or following a less-than-perfect Valentine’s Day. As you begin to prepare for this significant change, it’s essential to understand your financial situation and what it will take to support yourself moving forward. From gathering the proper financial documents to creating your new budget, it’s crucial to have a plan in place. GATHER THE INFORMATION The first thing you’ll need to do is develop a deep understanding of the income, expenses, liabilities, and assets involved in your divorce so you can map out any areas that may be challenging. Begin tracking your expenses and gathering any financial documents related to your marriage, including checking accounts, credit card statements, pay stubs, tax returns, and retirement accounts. Getting financially organized for divorce can be time-consuming, so beginning as early as possible is best.
VEGAN GREEK SHEET PAN DINNER
Inspired by ItDoesntTasteLikeChicken.com
Ingredients Seasoning: •
Veggies and Tofu: •
3 tbsp olive oil
1 block extra-firm tofu, drained and diced
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1 lemon, juiced (about 3 tbsp)
Firm Dinner at Raindancer Steakhouse
4 cloves garlic, minced 1 1/2 tbsp dried oregano
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1 medium zucchini, sliced
1 bell pepper (any color), sliced 1 medium red onion, sliced 1 pint cherry or grape tomatoes 1/2 cup pitted kalamata olives 1/4 cup vegan feta, crumbled
1 tbsp dried basil
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp black pepper
Directions 1. Preheat oven to 400 F. In a small bowl, combine all seasoning ingredients, stir, and set aside. 2. Spread tofu, zucchini, pepper, onion, and tomatoes on a large, rimmed baking sheet. Drizzle seasoning over top and mix with your hands until everything is well coated. 3. Bake for 35–40 minutes, stirring halfway through, until everything is golden brown. Remove from the oven, then sprinkle with olives and vegan feta. 4. Serve with cooked rice, warm pita bread, vegan tzatziki, hummus, or chopped parsley.
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PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411
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The Power of Perseverance page 1
The Bizarre History of the Bursting Teeth
Pampering and Passion Post-Breakup page 2
The Women’s Guide to Divorce Costs
Vegan Greek Sheet Pan Dinner page 3
Why You Should Use the 50/30/20 Rule page 4
BETTER BUDGETING THE BENEFITS OF THE 50/30/20 RULE
WANTS What good is life if you can’t enjoy yourself? The rule says you should apply 30% of your after-tax income toward your wants. This portion can be spent on everything from tickets to see your favorite sports teams, a premier “Jurassic Park”-themed pinball machine, or eating out at a restaurant. However, it should only apply to things you want to spend money on immediately — not long-term investments. SAVINGS The last 20% is the money you save for a rainy day. It can be cash you are saving for a dream vacation, money invested in a 401(k), or simply put into a savings account. Any long-term investment you make will fall into this category.
For many people, getting the most out of their hard-earned money can be a challenge. Thankfully, the 50/30/20 rule is here to help! This simple budgeting rule is straightforward, easy to remember, and useful (if you stick to it). According to the rule, you should take 100% of your after-tax income and allocate it in three different ways: 50% for needs, 30% for wants, and 20% for savings. For more on how to use the rule, read on! NEEDS Half of your money should be put toward necessary expenses: groceries, utility bills, health care expenses, loans, mortgages, and other payments. However, you may need more than 50% of your money to cover your mandatory expenses, and the remaining money should be split between wants and savings as evenly as possible. Your needs could also require less than half of your after-tax income. In this case, use the leftover money to pay down loans and debts so you will have more money to dedicate to savings and wants in the future.
While the 50/30/20 rule is not an exact science, it is worthwhile for budgeting your money responsibly and equitably!
4 • BrucePA.com
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