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T he M isconception of N iceness WHY KINDNESS HOLDS MORE VALUE
SEPTEMBER 2024
Many people in our country consider the terms “nice” and “kind” interchangeable. However, that’s not entirely accurate. Nice and kind aren’t even synonyms; you can Google it if you don’t believe me! When we’re trying to be nice, we’re just trying to avoid conflict. We’re being courteous and polite while not offending anyone or hurting their feelings. However, being kind means being straightforward and direct when sharing your feelings or thoughts with someone. While I view niceness as a superficial trait, kindness is one of the most valuable characteristics I look for in a friend or employee. When we’re being nice to others, we usually do it for reasons other than attempting to help them. Instead, niceness comes from fear and dishonesty in almost every situation. To better understand this concept, let’s look at a few examples. Imagine you’re going on a date with someone. Throughout dinner, you notice they’re agreeing with everything you say, never pushing back on potentially controversial thoughts. They don’t offer any differing opinions, simply stating they agree with you. In their mind, they may think they’re approaching the situation with
niceness. However, they’re actually approaching it with dishonesty and fear. They aren’t sharing their genuine opinions because they don’t want to say something you may disagree with and are afraid of pushing you away. Their niceness is just a facade for their fear of being alone. Years ago, I had a friend who was in a relationship with someone who didn’t treat her well. During one of our conversations, I decided to act with kindness instead of niceness and told her she deserved better and more from her partner. Unfortunately, my friend was not in the right mindset to listen to my words. At that moment, she wanted me to be nice by telling her everything would work out and to stand strong. Doing so wasn’t in my nature, though. As you might expect, our friendship didn’t last long after that conversation. Years after that conversation, we reconnected, and my friend told me I was right before apologizing for reacting negatively. Kindness is when we act with a focus on helping others and ourselves. It requires honesty in every situation, no matter how difficult it may be to hear. When we enter every conversation with kindness in our hearts and minds, we can help others and ourselves grow. I even use kindness regularly at work to help my team accomplish their goals and grow professionally. When employees don’t perform to their full potential, I provide constructive and productive feedback. Holding their hand and sharing niceties isn’t going to help anyone! As you progress through each day, consider whether you’re performing each action with kindness or niceness. Kindness is often directed toward those without the power to help themselves. If you’re only being “nice” or “kind” to your supervisor, law enforcement, or other authority figures, you’re most likely acting out of niceness. But if you’re going out of your way to show compassion, empathy, and care toward others in need, you’re acting out of kindness. Kindness doesn’t require reciprocation and consists of selfless acts. Let’s all find a way to add more kindness to our lives as we enter the final few months of the year. You never know how much your kindness could brighten someone’s day or change their outlook on life!
- Esther Vayman
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duo. Cooking at home lets you control your ingredients and portions, making it easier to stay on track.
WORKOUT PARTNERS FOR LIFE Couples who train together stay together! Whether jogging through the park, attending a spin class, or doing yoga in the living room, find activities you both enjoy. This not only helps you stay physically fit but also keeps you accountable. Plus, a little healthy competition never hurt — challenge each other to push-ups or racing laps in the pool! HEALTHY DATE NIGHTS Rethink your date night by planning fun and beneficial activities for your health. Skip the movie and popcorn and go for a hike, rent bikes, explore a new part of town, or take a dance class together. These active dates help you stay fit while spending quality time together. It’s about making memories while moving your muscles! SHARE THE MENTAL LOAD Mental health is just as important as physical health. Open communication about each other’s needs and feelings is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship. Engage in activities that reduce stress and increase happiness, like meditating together or starting a gratitude journal. Remember, the journey to health doesn’t have to be a solo trek. When you incorporate these activities into your relationship, you can build a foundation of health and happiness that supports both your goals.
L ove in M otion
HOW STAYING ACTIVE CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Living a healthy lifestyle doesn’t have to be boring, especially if you don’t do it alone. Whether blending smoothies or workout routines, tackling health and fitness with your partner strengthens your body and your bond. Here are some playful yet practical tips on how couples can keep each other motivated and moving toward a healthier lifestyle. COOK TOGETHER, GROW TOGETHER The kitchen is the heart of the home, and cooking together can be a recipe for delicious meals and excellent communication. Swap out the takeout menus for a stack of healthy recipes you can cook as a
W hy F ull D isclosure C an M ake or B reak Y our L egal O utcome DON’T HIDE THE TRUTH We all have secrets we hold close to our hearts. We could hide things from our loved ones due to embarrassment or grow worried our secrets could upset someone we care about, so we bury them deep down, promising not to tell a soul. However, some secrets need to see the light of day, especially when you’re involved in a family
secret will prevent others from learning about it, but there’s a strong possibility it will be revealed in the courtroom or during negotiations. In a past case, one of our attorneys was defending a motion to set aside and felt like things weren’t going our client’s way. Unfortunately, the situation only grew worse once the opposing counsel revealed that our client owed $50,000 in overdue child support, something they kept from their attorney. At that point, there was little hope of resolving the case in our client’s favor as they had failed to give their attorney a chance to build a solid defense. When you share secrets pertinent to your case with your attorney, you give them the equipment they need to protect you and build a case. You wouldn’t set foot on a battlefield without armor or a bulletproof vest, so don’t step into a courtroom without giving your attorney a chance to fully protect you. - Andrea Johnson
law matter. It’s critical to your case that your lawyer knows everything about the situation, as it will allow us to build the best possible case and protect you if need be. Keeping a secret from your attorney could be detrimental to your case. Many individuals believe it’s in their best interest to keep personal information to themselves when facing a divorce or experiencing another legal battle. In reality, your attorney can shield you much better if they know all the details surrounding your situation. If we know what you’re fighting over, we can produce better results while protecting you. If adultery played a role in your divorce battle, but you keep that to yourself, it won’t work to your benefit. You may think that keeping your
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Elizabeth A water purifier Brooke My contacts Amanda D. A very large book to read Amanda H. A firestarter Sara
Abigayle An Immunity Idol Ashlyn
Ester Toothpaste Maddie Moisturizer
IF YOU WERE STRANDED ON A DESERTED ISLAND AND COULD HAVE ONLY ONE ITEM, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A Chillbo Maggie Bug repellent Grace A satellite
phone Zaria Aquahor Madison A dog Brittany A dolphin saddle ingredients • 6 cups sliced fresh peaches • 1/2 cup granulated sugar • 2 tbsp all-purpose flour • 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon • 1/4 tsp ground nutmeg • 2 cups all-purpose flour • 1/3 cup packed brown sugar
A boat Abby Water shoes
Mari A tent
P erfect P each C obbler
BRAIN BREAK
• 2 tsp baking powder • 1/2 tsp salt • 1/2 cup cold butter, cut into pieces • 1/2 cup milk • 2 tbsp butter, melted
Made with fresh, juicy peaches and a buttery, golden crust, this peach cobbler is the perfect blend of sweet and tart.
directions 1. Preheat oven to 375 F and grease an 8-inch square baking dish. 2. In a large bowl, combine peaches, sugar, 2 tbsp flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg; mix until blended, then spoon into prepared dish. 3. In a medium bowl, combine 2 cups flour, brown sugar, baking powder, and salt. 4. Cut in butter with forks or pastry knife until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. 5. Add milk and stir until just blended. 6. Drop dough by spoonfuls onto peach mixture and drizzle melted butter on top. 7. Bake for 40–45 minutes or until top is golden brown.
ABUNDANT APPLES COOKOUT CRUNCHY FALL GOLDEN
GRANDPARENTS HARVEST
LABOR MAPLE SPORTS WINDY
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NICENESS VS. KINDNESS
DISCOVER FUN WAYS COUPLES CAN STAY FIT TOGETHER
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WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER KEEP SECRETS FROM YOUR LAWYER
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QUESTION AND ANSWERS
PERFECT PEACH COBBLER
BIZARRE LAWS THAT ARE STILL ON THE BOOKS!
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A merica ’ s M ost B izarre L egal R elics LAWS GONE WILD!
Thanks to our country’s perpetually in flux judicial system, countless laws are still on the books that echo times long gone. They’re outdated and absurd, often leaving citizens wondering, “What necessitated that rule?” Let’s look at some bizarre laws from across the U.S. (even if no one enforces them)! IF YOU’RE IN WYOMING, AVOID TATTOOING ANY HORSES. This law was made to stop people from making horses unrecognizable to their owners. Apparently, that was a big enough issue back in the day that it needed to be codified. DON’T TIE YOUR GIRAFFE TO A TELEPHONE POLE OR STREETLAMP IN GEORGIA. Isn’t it embarrassing when there’s nowhere to tie up the family giraffe on a quick errand? Wait, what? Don’t tie that long-necked beauty to the
wrong anchor point in Atlanta. It’s believed this rule was enacted to prevent animal abuse, but it is unclear why lawmakers got so specific. GET MARRIED IN TEXAS BY PUBLICLY ANNOUNCING YOURSELVES AS HUSBAND AND WIFE 3 TIMES. Make it legal with three public announcements, even if only one spouse is present for the proclamation. The requirement states that both parties must be willing participants, over 18, and unrelated. ALL CATS IN NEW JERSEY MUST WEAR 3 BELLS TO ALERT BIRDS OF THEIR WHEREABOUTS. Outdoor cats are notoriously dangerous to the local wildlife populations, and Cresskill, New Jersey, decided they needed a law to protect feathery friends from their greatest foes. We’re not sure the cats are on board with this rule.
IF YOU’RE CAUGHT FLIRTING IN NEW YORK, YOU COULD PAY A $25 FINE. In the early 1900s, flirting was such an issue that cities held an annual Anti-Flirt Week. This law aimed to help women feel safer on the streets by diminishing catcalling from passing motorists. Reportedly, a second offense would require the offender to wear horse blinders in public! While these laws may seem silly, no one enforces them anymore — even though they’re still on the books. Instead of holding any weight, they offer a glimpse into the concerns of our forefathers. The next time you encounter a strange law in your town, take a moment to ponder the history; you never know what you might learn about the place you call home.
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