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By P.J. O"Rourke
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And Klaas brings up a good point: “[T]here’s a crucial dimension that isn’t getting enough attention. Conspiracy theories... are fun.” They certainly are. Everyone likes a fantasy. We all enjoy denying reality. And given what reality has been like lately, we’re enjoying ourselves more than ever. Real conspiracies do exist “(Watergate),” but they are limited “(Watergate)” and few (name another big story Woodward and Bernstein broke), usually don’t last long “(Watergate)” or don’t work “(Watergate)” or have a minor long-term effect on history (Jimmy Carter). Everyone likes a fantasy. We all enjoy denying reality. And given what reality has been like lately, we’re enjoying ourselves more than ever. But to work ourselves up into a fully conspiratorial frame of mind, we have to deny a reality so basic that it’s proverbial. “Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead.” And now that the sodium pentothal of social media has been injected into the entire populace and has set everybody to blabbering about everything, the proverb should be, “Two people can keep a secret if both of them are dead and nobody’s hacked the e-mails, text messages, and Snapchat postings they left behind on their smartphones.” To embrace a theory of a secret, huge, manifold conspiracy containing multitudes
rian Klaas, professor of global politics at University College London, wrote an excellent opinion piece about conspiracy
theories in the January 25 Washington Post . Of course – given the temper of the times in academia and indeed at the Post – the article was pointed at Right-wing preposterous conjectures and titled “Why is it so hard to deprogram Trumpian conspiracy theorists?” Fair enough. QAnonsense, Boogalooniness, Proud Boy brain boil, and the like gave us the most blatant and most recent example of how silly thinking can lead to serious malignity. They deserve their headline billing. Klaas does neglect to mention that virulent pustules of belief in imaginary schemes and cabals can erupt anywhere, Left or Right, on the body politic. Marxism, for instance, is nothing but a giant conspiracy theory blaming everything on the collusion of mysterious economic forces that only Marxists know about. But otherwise, Klaas does a good job of explaining the cognitive biases and circular reasoning that get conspiracy theories started and keep them going. Of course, the pizza delivery guy is going to deny he’s part of an international Satan- worshiping cannibalistic pedophile ring... because he’s part of an international Satan- worshiping cannibalistic pedophile ring. (My example, not Klaas’. He’s too serious- minded for that.)
American Consequences
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