Eu fiquei para ali, banho por tomar, pensamentos vagos, horas infinitas. Acho que havia um livro assim: Horas Infinitas. Ou seria Horas Malditas? Enfim, nunca o li. Houve muitas. coisas que não fiz e agora, não conseguia mesmo fazer. Só fiquei ali. Quando o Sol ficou mais fraco, foi mais fácil. Acho que passei a combinar mais com o ambiente. Não me dei ao trabalho de acender a luz. Só fiquei. Talvez tenha comido, não sei. No dia em que me senti melhor, pude ir vivendo aos poucos, um bocado de cada vez, mas acabei a sentir que tinha quase saudades da tristeza. Quase? Eu tinha saudades. A tristeza fez-me companhia e o meu medo era ficar só com o vazio. Ainda ando a aprender a ter alguma coisa cá dentro. Se não for nada, que seja tristeza.
The audience came running, froze in place and exchanged perplexed glances.
Alexandra Coimbra, Sociedade Portuguesa de Psicanálise The audience came running, froze in place and exchanged perplexed glances. I was also perplexed, looking at the stage, the curtains rising and on stage you could only see crates and broken things, it looked like a scrap yard, a war scene, but what could have caused the crash and the piercing scream that had made everyone rush into the room?! What was all that stuff doing on stage?!... Nothing seemed to fit with the show they had bought tickets for. They were going to see a play. Yes, the director was known for being irreverent, for making the audience question things, but what did that crash, that scream and now this scene mean?! Suddenly, a voice began to speak: ‘I'm going to tell you my story, don't doubt the truth of what I tell you.’ And, in a monotonous tone of voice, he recounted a life of violence, loss and horror. He continued: ‘You may think you can imagine what I've been through, but believe me, you can't even begin to imagine it.’ She ended by saying in a different tone of voice: ‘But I have nothing to complain about, I learned to go to a world inside me, where no one could hurt me. And now here I am. And I am whole. Look, I have ten little fingers!’ She waved her hands and showed her feet. ‘I am whole, I am here, I am alive, and I think I have nothing to complain about.’ And the spectators looked on in amazement at this imposing woman who seemed to feel what she was saying.
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