I couldn't take any more Sunday afternoon programs, but it was indeed Sunday afternoon. I lay there, almost numb, on the living room sofa. The sun shone brightly into the room. There was too much light, and I was enveloped in darkness. I think I was in for a whole week of sofa, remote control, and loneliness. He left, selfishly, I thought. I stayed. Despite my loneliness, I knew he would return. But there were other things to deal with. Above all, I had to deal with my sadness, my emptiness. I stayed there, unbathed, with vague thoughts, endless hours. I think there was a book like that: Endless Hours. Or was it Damned Hours? Anyway, I never read it. There were many things I didn't do and now I really couldn't do. I just stayed there. When the sun got weaker, it was easier. I think I started to blend in with the environment. I didn't bother to turn on the light. I just stayed. Maybe I ate, I don't know. On the day I felt better, I was able to live little by little, a bit at a time, but I ended up feeling that I almost missed the sadness. Almost? I missed it. Sadness kept me company, and my fear was to be left with emptiness. I'm still learning to have something inside me. If it's nothing, let it be sadness. Christiane H. Schleidt, Akademie für Psychoanalyse und Psychotherapie Munich Everyone rushed over quickly. And yet everything happened in slow motion. They pushed each other. It was a scramble, elbows were used. Some fell down and got back up again in no time. Everything happened very slowly. All you could hear was the rustling of clothes and rapid breathing. They wore long silk robes that sparkled under the spotlight. When they reached the right side of the stage, they knelt down and began to hum. Then she noticed that the young woman next to her was crying silently. Now she was so distracted that she no longer paid any attention to what was happening on stage. She had noticed the fearful look in her eyes as soon as she entered. Something seemed familiar, even intimate. She felt the urge to hum herself and suddenly noticed that everyone in the auditorium had begun to hum. Bianca Isabella Christine Tiator, German Psychoanalytical Association; Mainz Psychoanalytical Institute EVERYONE RUSHED OVER. And the buzzing grew stronger and louder until it swelled into an incredible roar. It became deafeningly loud! Yes, it was ringing in my ears, it began to penetrate my very being, I felt the vibration in every part of my body, in every cell. It hurt, it was so loud. It hurt so much that I couldn't stand it anymore and covered my ears to protect myself from the pain. I also squeezed my eyes shut, even though – at
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