A whole free day lay before her, and she had not yet decided how to spend it. She might browse the newspaper at leisure or return to her novel, which fascinated her so deeply. Your Absence Is Darkness —that was its title, and the Icelandic author’s voice touched her in ways she could not quite explain. She could just as well call her dearest friend in Berlin, watch a series on the sofa, bake a cake, paint her toenails, write a letter, or work on a puzzle. “I only know you as doing, never as being,” her friend Nicola had once told her. Nicola, who had so tragically taken her own life so many years ago. Yet even that thought could not sadden her today. She sent a silent greeting upward, filled with love. “No matter how hard life has been, I am a happy man and grateful for everything,” her brother had said to her recently. And she knew exactly what he meant. A deep sense of happiness and gratitude filled her, though she could not have named its source. Perhaps it was the people who bound themselves to her with such warmth, the ones she loved in return. “Happiness is love, nothing else. Whoever can love is happy,” a line from Hermann Hesse came to her mind. She yawned heartily, the wave of relaxation flowing through her all the way down to her toes. Filiz Dogan, German Psychoanalytical Association; Karl Abraham Institute Berlin The morning began with heavy rain showers. So it was clear that I couldn't ride my bike. It annoyed me that I had to rely on public transportation. And it annoyed me that it was raining in the summer. Many people said that it was good for the plants, which also annoyed me because they were right, of course. I thought of the kitten I had once seen in the rain in Istanbul. It was in a backyard we had stumbled upon, and the rain had already stopped, but we still had our umbrellas open. The kitten was crying for its mother, or maybe just for food. I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what, so I turned to my friend and asked what we should do. He shrugged and said we couldn't save all kittens. I immediately fell silent, something felt strange in my stomach. It was just one kitten, and maybe we didn't have to save it completely, but could just dry it off and get it some milk to drink. “You shouldn't give cats milk, that's just what people who don't know anything about nature think,” said my friend, and I fell silent. “The advertising industry came up with that and we're falling for it,” he continued, and I thought he didn't mean us, he meant me. The rain pelted against my windows...
133
Made with FlippingBook Annual report maker