The English Group
Yao Lin, China Study Group in Wuhan
On April 1st, a short, elderly woman moved into the apartment next door. 4 月一日,一个又矮又老的女人搬到了隔壁。隔壁的邻居女主人已经去世了,这 里已经有了一个新的女主人,听家人说她也是二婚。 我家乡的女人,早逝的女人,生病去世的女人,还有隔壁现在还在的女人。我突 然意识到,这些人都是在我童年时期很熟悉的人,秋华姐姐,婶婶,根谷子他妈 ,还有隔壁家的奶奶。小时候她们带我玩,爸妈不在家的时候带我睡,我就跟在 隔壁邻居奶奶,她烧饭,我在旁边跟着,她做粽子,我也在一旁看着。有过很多 美好的时光和记忆,但这些都已经随风而逝了。 再回到老家,我已经看不到她们的身影,他们就像凭空消失了一样。我也不记得 具体她们的事情,对她们的人生也不了解,但记忆中她们一直在那。因为老家的 房子,或那个村子,是很开放的,大家的门都是敞开的,大家都在门前活动,聊 天、串门都很稀疏平常的事情,随便就能走进邻居的家。晚上吃晚饭,都端个碗 ,这家跑那家,吃到几家的菜。 这是我童年的记忆,后来到了城市读书,到越来越大的城市,甚至出国到德国生 活,我再也没有这样的体验了。那段时光像是很远古,那种生活方式,人和人的 关系像是被封存了。现在哪怕是再回老家,有些感觉还在,但这种随便串门的、 敞开的生活也已经不在了。我意识到,随着一些人的离开,某种生活方式,某种 感觉也就离开了。 我很怀念这些邻居的女人们。她们走的悄无声息。我问过我妈,我说秋华姐姐去 世的时候,老家有举行仪式吗,很盛大吗?妈妈说她不记得了。细数一下,带给 我类似感觉的女人还有我外婆、小外婆,我姥姥 … On April 1st, a short, elderly woman moved into the apartment next door. The woman who used to live there had already passed away, and now there was a new hostess. My family told me she was also in her second marriage. Back in my hometown, I remember many women who passed away early, who died from illness, and also those who are still alive now, like the new hostess next door. These women were so familiar to me in my childhood—Sister Qiuhua, my aunt, Genguzi’s mother, and the neighbor’s grandma. When I was little, they often looked after me. If my parents weren’t home, I would stay with the neighbor’s grandma. She would cook while I followed her around, or make zongzi while I stood by watching. Those were beautiful times, full of warm memories, but now they have all faded away.
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