The doctor arrives and tells her a series of technical things that seem incomprehensible to her. She only hears the end: ‘It's a matter of time, you can stay with your mother. Say goodbye.’ Say goodbye! How do you do that? She felt she had done so, but she wasn't sure, how do we know if we've said goodbye properly?! And now, after the wake and the funeral, there she was, at her mother's house, where she was still so present. Present in her absence.
Alexandre Castro e Silva, Sociedade Portuguesa de Psicanálise Her attention was drawn to a piece of paper on the desk… Júlia opened the sheet and read:
I'm sorry, but I'm leaving. I didn't have the courage to tell you, but I no longer have a reason to live. Since I got sick, I can't bear to see the sadness in your eyes. I know my end is near, months, weeks... Our life was perfect, our love, our children! I was lucky, but I don't want to suffer anymore. I'm fading away, my body is half what it was, I'm fading, I'm fading away. But what hurts me most is seeing the joy leaving our front door. Teresa and Manuel walk around with their heads down, and your face..., your face, Júlia! It carries a ton of anguish! I'm going surfing, I'm going to Praia do Norte to catch that last wave. I won't leave there, when you want to visit me, come see me. Remember me with the smile on my face that I used to have after every surf session. Bound to the waves, to the sea, to you, my love! To our family! I went today because I might not have the strength tomorrow. I'm sorry, but it had to be this way, otherwise I know you'd stop me. I'll take you and our children to this last dance! With love, Miguel She put down the paper, tears falling uncontrollably. She calmed down, sitting on the sofa, until her children entered the office. - Where’s daddy? Teresa asked. With a sad smile, she replied - Daddy went back to sea…
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