and demanding situation and therefore couldn't reply to the letters I continued to write to her. She was important to me. We were so close to each other from all our visits... like sisters... almost like twins. Without me knowing what it feels like to be a twin. But we had shared so much, confided so much of our teenage girl worries to each other, kept so many secrets together. It took a long time for the doubt to burrow its way from the depths to the surface of my consciousness. Was everything all right between us? Or had something happened? I desperately tried to remember our last encounter when I visited her in Caen on New Year's Eve two years ago... Had I said something wrong? Was she upset with me about something? Should I ask her about it in another letter? But... what if I was terribly mistaken? What if she wrote: ‘Hey, no! Everything's fine! Why are you thinking such nonsense? Don't you trust our friendship anymore?’ Shame. That was what I feared. Being ashamed, exposed with my paranoid thoughts that she might have turned away from me... might not like me anymore... might never want to see me again. What should I do? ALLE KAMEN RASCH HERBEIGEEILT . Und das Summen wurde immer stärker, immer lauter, bis es zu einem unglaublichen Getöse anschwoll. Es wurde ohrenbetäubend laut! Ja, es dröhnte in meinen Ohren, es begann mir durch Mark und Bein zu gehen, ich spürte die Vibration in allen meinen Körperteilen, in allen meinen Zellen. Es tat weh, so laut war es. Es tat so sehr weh, dass ich es nicht mehr aushalten konnte und mir zum Schutz vor diesem Schmerz die Ohren zuhielt. Auch kniff ich die Augen fest zu, obwohl mir das – zumindest auf zweitem Blick – irgendwie sinnlos erschien. Es kamen immer mehr, immer mehr… Alle summten und brummten durcheinander, jeder und jede wollte den oder die andere übertönen mit seinem oder ihrem Gebrumme und Gesumme. Ich öffnete meine Augen und verstand, dass es alles Bienen waren, die herbeigeeilt waren – ein heilloses Durcheinander! Was für ein Chaos! Ich wollte von all dem Gesumme und Gebrumme nichts mehr hören und versuchte verzweifelt, mir die Finger in die Ohren zu stopfen. Es funktionierte nicht! Warum funktionierte es nicht? Plötzlich bemerkte ich, dass ich gar keine Finger hatte!! Die Erkenntnis ergoss sich wie ein eiskalter Schauer über mich. Voller Entsetzen wusste ich es plötzlich: Ich war die Bienenkönigin. EVERYONE RUSHED OVER. And the buzzing grew stronger and louder until it swelled into an incredible roar. It became deafeningly loud! Yes, it was ringing in my ears, it began to penetrate my very being, I felt the vibration in every part of my body, in every cell. It hurt, it was so loud. It hurt so much that I couldn't stand it anymore and covered my ears to protect myself from the pain. I also squeezed my eyes shut, even though – at least at second glance – this seemed somehow pointless. More and more came, more and more... They all buzzed and hummed together, each one trying to drown out the others with their humming and buzzing. I opened my eyes and realised that they were all bees that had rushed over – what a terrible mess! What chaos! I didn't want to hear
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