The Christian Home By Rev. Paul Bayles P a s t o r , C e n tin e la I tib le C h u rc h H a w th o r n e , C a lifo r n ia
I N many American homes today, the traditional and Biblical concept of family life is in reverse. Too often the woman is the authoritative head of the home. Seldom is it the man. Chil dren look to her for guidance, not to the father. Often, he is no more than the financial provider and this, in a rather disinterested manner. Perhaps this reversal is partially caused by the monotonous routine that characterizes male employment. Men are given little sense of achievement in their work. This results in a rest lessness and dissatisfaction that carries frustration into the home. If a man is regimented day by day, he may feel incapable of taking the place of lead ership in the home. The woman “ takes over,” not be cause she wants to, but because she must. This often produces character istics of domination and aggressive ness that rob her of feminine dignity and cause her to compete with her husband. Unending conflicts result. Television series, cheap fiction, and endless cartoons comically portray fa ther as a big, playful ape. With the shift in domestic authority, children grow up without ever knowing the security of the father’s true role in the home. Disrespect for the “managing mother” and the “ futile father” can be anticipated from the children, since these are unnatural caricatures of both. When God’s laws are substituted for civil law, chaos is bound to follow. God instituted marriage. He instructed wives to obey their husbands, and for husbands to love their wives as tender ly and unselfishly as Christ loves His church. But civil law has allowed a 600% increase in divorce over the last century in America, and on grounds that make us the laughing stock of the world. Civil law has so misinter preted the words “ equal” and “ obey” as to imply that wifely obedience is a hangover from caveman days. With no center of authority in the home, men and women live out of character
and children rebel against such ill defined discipline. However, the domestic scene is not hopeless! The Christian husband must realize that he does not reach his real stature until he develops his mascu linity and becomes wisely authorita tive. This is not the petty domination of the emotionally immature, but the firm, quiet confidence that this is his Christian responsibility. The Christian wife must understand that her feminine dignity is enhanced through sincere deference to her hus band’s decision. She must be genuine ly convinced of the justification of male leadership in the home. Christian marriage should be based on the principle that the more under standing of God that partners have, the more beautiful the relationship will be. Therefore husbands and wives will freely communicate ideas and opinions with each. The wise husband will seek the opinions of his wife; two minds are better than one. Then the husband will make the decision, trust ing the Lord for guidance, and will be confident that he understands his family’s needs. Family discussions help in this. Planned ahead of time, with the agenda prepared by the parents, chil dren can c o n t r i b u t e i d e a s and thoughts that will build a solid fam ily. The father must always preside. Children will respect their parents, because parents have understood and respected them. Parents will be pleased at the willingness of their children to co-operate, if given the approval and recognition that they need from their father. The rightful place of the father in the home will be accepted. Other home relationships will often fall into their natural order. Fathers, accept the responsibility God designed for you. Accept the role that you have been fitted for. Your family is the perpetuation of your name and manhood. What picture will you leave for them to perpetuate?
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