ACTUAL I TÉ • NEWS
Jailed at the library
Judge Dread-ful is the law in Clarence-Rockland, and he is more than happy to toss anyone and everyone behind bars for any infraction of the law, even if he has tomake one up.The judge had his hands full with various «miscreants» and «no-goods» during the Jailed at the Library fundraiser May 7.
A smiling Mr Big is just where Judge Dread-ful wants him, standing in the dock with a nice set of handcuffs around his wrists, all ready for sentencing. A helpful constable offers the judge some key «evidence» to help seal the case against one of Clarence- Rockland’s most wanted.
public library May 7 and there was a steady lineup of malefactors hauled in by the OPP to face the gibes and jests of Judge Dread- ful. EvenMayor Guy Desjardins himself was marched in, wrists cuffed, to explain to the judge why everyone seemed so happy nowa- days in Clarence-Rockland. «I’ve seen people walking around with smiles on their faces,» the judge told the mayor, «and I think it’s got something to do with you. I’ve got to send you to jail.» OPP escorted «The Boss», as Judge Dread-
ful referred to Desjardins, over to the newly- erected Rockland Penitentiary, a very small single-cell addition to the library foyer. Like everyone else the judge had tossed into «The Big House», Desjardins was allowed as many phone calls as he wanted to try to raise «bail money» to get himself out. The problem is that Judge Dread-ful lives by the motto «I never met a bribe I didn’t like» and was more than willing to accept offers of cash to keep the mayor in jail. It was all in good fun, explained Paul Da-
vies, a.k.a. Judge Dread-ful, as the latest fun- draising gimmick for the public library. He noted that, as of Tuesday, the total amount of money raised topped the $4,000 mark, including $1,000 that Coun. Yvon Simoneau raised during his time in the slammer. «That was the biggest single amount of pledges raised,» Davies said, grinning. «He made some good contacts around town and collected on some favours.» There is a good chance the judge will be back next year. So be good or be ready to pay.
GREGG CHAMBERLAIN email@example.com
Scofflaws beware when Judge Dread-ful is behind the bench with gavel in hand. For sure, someone will go to jail and the judge is more than happy to see that “jus- tice” is done when it helps provide some funding help for the Clarence-Rockland Public Library. It was Jailed at the Library day at the
The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay. Well, that may have how the Shadow viewed things back when that action-adventure hero of radio, movies, and pulp magazines battled crimelords in 1930s New York. Judge Dread-ful finds it easy to deal with anyone and everyone who shows up in his library court.
Oh, no! Even Sparky the Fire Dog has to pay when Judge Dread-ful rules against him in a court of law. Lucky for Sparky he has enough to cover his fine for being in the library with an expired dog licence. Next time he’ll know better unless he wants to give the judge burning mad at him.
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