Vol 8. Edition 5
News from CannaTown
RespondersWorking Triple Shis inMoldy Jelly Donuts Case Emergency personnel are working around the clock aer it was determined that a local shipment of donuts--sold across town, in- cluding to emergency personnel--contained jelly-lled donuts with what appeared to be dark mold spots on their under-carriage. Closer examination suggested that three out of four were contaminated, and what’s more, there were no other jelly-donut distributors within city limits to quickly produce more. “We’re running out of options in a race against time,” said Lieutenant Brenda Morey, down at the precinct. “Terrible day for coee on an empty stomach.” ming” of the very bottom layer, using very sharp knives--but test participants were hurt with self-inicted injuries, all while forfeiting the very safety of the jelly inside. “e only good news we’ve heard, is that the lemon-lled variety are coming back 99% clear," Morey announced later, "but there's not enough to go around by any means.” e bakery responded to calls, saying that the spots were caused during the baking pro- cess, and that the donuts themselves were fresh-made. But not everyone is convinced. “ey’re tiny black spots--very suspect on a donut,” said shopper Tim Litscher, who purchased one such jelly donut before the grocery store recall. “But if there’s a bakery out there who says it’s okay, who am I to ques- tion,” he continued, mouth half-full of pastry. Volunteers called throughout the Can- natown metro, verifying that other donuts looked similar and asking for options. Ex- perts weighed in, recommending a “skim-
City rows Ground-Breaking Ceremony for New Museum Building o the popularity of the Great Cannatown Hole, the city council threw an ocial ground-breaking ceremony for the National Museum of Dirt, Sand and Mud . Set to open in August 2025, the insitution will house some of the most famous clods of soil found worldwide. Unlike other such "dirt" museums, NMDSM will only feature dirt, and not just "dirty items."
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