The Bug Guy
April Fools’ Day in the West Valley: When the Pests Get the Last Laugh Living in the West Valley means coexisting with some of nature’s most determined party crashers: scorpions, cockroaches, and an ambitious variety of other unwelcome guests. But every April 1st, these little invaders seem to coordinate their own special celebration, turning our desert paradise into their personal comedy club. This year, local pest control companies reported a 300% increase in panicked calls about “giant mutant scorpions” that turned out to be regular scorpions placed next to pennies for scale in elaborate spouse- pranking schemes. One Buckeye resident admitted to gluing googly eyes on a bark scorpion before releasing it near his wife’s coffee maker. The divorce proceedings are still pending.
Meanwhile, a Goodyear family discovered that their teenage son had been collecting the docile desert millipedes that emerge during monsoon season, saving them in a shoebox labeled “NOT SNAKES.” On April Fools’ morning, he released all forty-seven of them in the hallway. His mother’s screams allegedly registered on nearby seismographs. The boy is now grounded until his own children are old enough to pull similar pranks. Perhaps the most elaborate prank involved a Litchfield Park homeowner who hired a pest control technician to perform a “routine inspection” while his roommate was home. The technician, who was in on the joke, emerged from the attic claiming he’d found a family of javelinas living in the insulation. The roommate believed it for approximately ninety seconds before remembering that javelinas cannot, in fact, climb ladders. But the pests themselves seem to have the best sense of humor. One Avondale woman swears that a scorpion climbed into her shower on April 1st, faced her directly, and appeared to wave one of its pincers before scurrying away. Local entomologists confirm this is scientifically impossible but emotionally accurate. The Goodyear Pest Control Association has issued a statement reminding residents that while April Fools’ Day is fun, releasing actual pests for pranks is both illegal and inadvisable, especially concerning Africanized bees, rattlesnakes, or anything described as “surprisingly chill for a scorpion.” Remember: in the Valley of the Sun, the real joke is thinking you’ll ever have a pest-free home. The scorpions moved here first, and they’re not laughing with you.
Submitted by Larry Cash, of Estrella Mountain Pest Control.
6 Estrella Publishing - Up The Hill magazine
April 2026
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