Imponderables
Things that make you go Hmm • Why is abbreviation such a long word? • Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? • If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? • Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouths closed? • Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? • Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? • If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages? • Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a ‘use by’ date? • If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat? • What do you put on a driver’s license for hair color if someone is bald? • Does the staff at Lipton Tea Company take a coffee break? • If you ask a bookstore salesperson, “Where’s the self-help section?” would that defeat your purpose? • What if there were no hypothetical questions?
• Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? • Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?” • What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? • If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? • Would a fly without wings be called a walk? • If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it homeless or naked? • Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? • Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? • If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? • Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? • How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? • Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny? • What was the best thing before sliced bread? • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? Submitted by Jim Surmanek, Litchfield Park resident
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Estrella Publishing - The Park magazine
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