Transcript SESSION 1
Well, it’s good to be with you. I guess the question to ask here in the beginning is, “When you got married, what did you expect? What were the expectations that fueled your hopes and your dreams in your marriage?” Maybe the more dangerous question is this, “How close have you come to realizing your expectations?” I just saw a wife do this to her husband. That means--not close! I think there are thousands and thousands of couples that get married every year with unrealistic expectations. I’d be sitting with a future husband and a future wife, and the future wife would look at her husband with sort of glassy, romantic eyes and say something like this, “I don’t think I could ever be angry at him.” I’m angry just to hear it--because I know where that’s going to go! Maybe it all starts with the weirdness of Western culture dating. Can we talk? I don’t know why I’m asking permission, I’m going to. I think Western culture dating is just a step above used car sales because when you’re dating, the last thing you want is for that person to get to know you. So a man, who doesn’t like to shop, will shop. He’ll say, “Yes dear, I’d love to go to another twelve stores to look for those shoes that are in your head and probably haven’t ever been produced, because darling, when I’m with you, I’m ‘shopolistic.’” A woman who doesn’t like sports will watch sports. She’ll say, “Yes dear, I’d love to watch another game.” Now, somewhere in the middle of a game, she’ll give it away. She’ll say something like this, “My, aren’t their uniforms cute?” A man would never say that. If a man thought that, he’d be terrified. And then six months into marriage, this woman is crying, “This is not the man I married!” Check this out--this is the man you married; the man you dated was a fake. (It took you awhile.) Maybe the best way to frame what we’re going to do together, as we look at this significant human relationship in God’s plan, is to start with a little bit of my own story. I’ve been married now for forty-two years. I know you’re looking at me and thinking this man is way too young to be married that long. So if you’re trying to calculate my age, I was married at seven. And Luella and I have struggled with this issue throughout our marriage. It’s the issue of time—well, it’s really been my struggle. Luella was raised in Cuba, and she has sort of an island and a Latin view of time--she lives on a bit of a vibe. You know, you go to the islands because time s—l—o—w—s down. If we agree on an appointed hour for Luella, it’s a rough estimate. I was raised by a man who thought that the sole litmus test of the value of a human being was punctuality. You’re on time; you can live. Now it’s Easter morning in the Tripp family at the point of this story; and if you have multiple children, you know that Sunday morning’s not the most relaxed morning of the week. We’re stuffing children in vans and saying, “Shut up, we’re going to worship.” We call that preparing our hearts for worship. And our church, for reasons I don’t really understand, had decided the best way to celebrate the resurrection was to have a full breakfast before the service on Sunday morning. I don’t know what that has to do with the resurrection, but it was a tradition. Well, that meant we had to leave an hour and a half early. I woke up with feelings of futility. And about time for us to be ready to leave, I go into the bathroom where Luella is, and my then 9-year old son- -and I can tell by the way Luella is dressed that she’s not near being ready. And I start saying helpful things to her like informing her it’s not an Easter dinner; it’s Easter breakfast. She found that very helpful. (That’s a lie.) I tell her that a couple of our children are already in the car waiting as usual; reminding her that I’m an elder in the church, and my arrival before the ham and eggs is very important to my ministry. I’m cranking up the heat. About then, my nine-year-old son said, “Daddy, may I say something?” I should’ve said, “No.” He said, “Daddy, do you really think this is the way a Christian man should be talking to his wife?” I slapped him. . . no, no no. . . That’s a joke for you overly serious people in the room. I said, “What do you think?” trying to escape the conviction. And he looked at me very sincerely and said, “Daddy, it doesn’t make any difference what I think; what does God think?” I walked out of the bathroom being duly corrected, and I hear this little voice behind me as I get to the threshold of the door saying, “Daddy, may I
Transcript: Session 1
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
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