Now out of that passage, I want to dictate to you a definition of love. I’ll do this phrase by phrase, over and over again, so you can get it down, and then we’ll unpack it. Here we go. Love is willing self-sacrifice. Love is willing self-sacrifice. (There will be a quiz.) Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another. Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another. Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation. Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving. Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving. Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving. Now, let’s take this apart. Love is willing. Jesus said, “No one takes my life from me, I lay it down of my own accord.“ Love is willing. You could argue that the key character quality of real love is willingness. Love loves to love. If you have to be forced, or pushed, or nagged, or guilted, or threatened into loving, you have to have that happen to you precisely because you do not love, because love is willing. Love finds joy in loving. Now you know this is true. If I plop myself down on the couch next to Luella, (And you have to look at my posture here.) and I say this, “You know Luella, I’ve come to the realization that it’s my duty love to love you. So I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to do my duty because that’s what I have to do--whatever.” Would you ever walk away from that conversation saying, “He loves me; he loves me”? You’d be devastated. Love is willing. Husbands, if I watched that video I’ve been talking about, would I see a man who loves to love, would I? Who’s willing? Who finds joy in finding ways of expressing and demonstrating love to your wife? Are you willing? Love loves to love. It doesn’t see love as a hassle, doesn’t see it as an interruption, doesn’t see it as a burden, doesn’t see it as a hard thing. Love loves to love--it’s willing! Love is willing self-sacrifice. There’s no such thing as love that doesn’t require sacrifice. It’ll get you up early morning. It’ll make you stay up later at night. It’ll make you sacrifice things that you want to do or things that are important to you. It’ll mean investment of time, and energy, and money--are you making those investments? Are you willing to make sacrifices in order to love the other person? Or do you say things like, “Who was your servant last year? Get it yourself. I have a life too.” Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another. It means when I wake up in the morning, I’m not just motivated by what’s good for me; I’m motivated by what’s good for you. I’m a student of you. I think about where are you discouraged? Where are you overwhelmed? Where do you feel alone? Where do you fear? Where do you need a friend? Where do you need help? I’m a student of you because I love you, and I find joy in you experiencing the good things that God has planned for you. I’m out for your welfare; I’m out for your good; I’m not so busy taking care of myself that I have little time to take care of you--that’s not love. I’m a committed student of your existence. And I’m looking for places to deliver what’s good to you. Again, I don’t find that as a hassle; I find that as a joy because I really do love you. It’s a joy for me to do those things. Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not demand reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving. Husbands, think with me; you know already that you’re married to a less-than-perfect person. Your wife is going to have a bad day. There’ll be moments where she’s going to lose her way. She’ll say bad things; she’ll do bad things; she’ll think bad things; she’ll desire bad things, because she’s less than a perfect person. Husbands, if you suspend love at all of the moments where your wife doesn’t deserve it, you spend a whole lot of your marriage not loving your wife. Wives, you don’t need me to tell you this; you know it already. You’re married to a less-than-perfect man; he will l have a bad day; he’ll lose his way; he’ll say bad things; he’ll do bad things; he’ll think bad things; he’ll desire bad things. Listen, if you suspend love at all the points where this man doesn’t deserve it, you’re going to spend a whole lot of your marriage not loving this man. The stunning thing it says about Jesus is, “That He placed his love on us while we were yet his enemies.” Love proves itself to be love precisely when you don’t deserve it. Love rises to the challenge precisely when you don’t deserve it. Love does its best, deepest, most important work precisely when you don’t deserve it. What we’re talking about is no longer a culture of love where I judge you at every weak moment; I criticize you at every weak moment; I walk away from you at every
Transcript: Session 7
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
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