need motivation to press on? Where does he need forgiveness? Where does he need hope? Where does he need help? I want to love this man right where he is.” I think of my wife, and I say, “What is she going to struggle with today? Where is she going to be tempted today? Where will life seem hard for her today? Where could she possibly lose her way today? I want to enter into those experiences; I want to love this person.” It’s not waiting for love to happen. It’s love that’s an intentional Kingdom commitment. If this is what God wants for me, this is what I want for my marriage. Now, I am seeking God’s Kingdom in my marriage. I want to be a person of joy. Do you know what the DNA of joy is? Gratitude, thankfulness! Did you ever notice that complainers don’t have much joy? You don’t go to complainers for joy because they don’t have much. And so, you think, “I want to be a grateful person in my marriage. I can be so entitled. I can be so ungrateful, and so I want to look for ways to express gratitude.” If you’re married to a man who’s been a hard and faithful worker for many years, and that labor has been to the benefit of your family, why would you take that for granted? Wives, how about dropping a card in his lunch or his briefcase that says, “You don’t know how thankful I am for your day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year labor. I have such deep respect for you; you have benefited our family so much. I love you.” Think that will help? If you have a rather chauvinistic marriage where your wife does most of the despicable duties in the house, and she’s, for years, washed articles of clothing that you don’t want to touch once you’ve taken them off. You’ve kicked them across the floor because they’re despicable to you. Why would you take that for granted? Why wouldn’t you find a way? Send your wife some unexpected flowers with a card that says, “I am blown away by all the dirty and despicable things you’ve been willing to do to make my life easier. I have deep respect and affection for you. I’m glad you’re my wife. I love you--there’s more underwear to come!” What about peace? We can be so much better at making war than making peace. Wives, stop freaking out because your husband doesn’t hold the fork like you do. Quit telling him that it’s embarrassing to go out to eat with him because he holds the fork like a baboon. Why is it so important to you that you have to correct the way a person pronounces that word--does it really make any difference? Why do you have to interrupt a person every time they tell a story? Why do we make so much war? Why can’t we overlook minor offenses, minor weaknesses, minor failures--we all have them! And what that does is it makes a relationship hurtful, and prickly, and tense. Peace is a much better way! Peace is more important than all of those little things that we create as reasons for breaking peace. Peace is God’s way! How about making peace and not making war? How about patience? One of the sweetest gifts that you can give to a person is willingness to wait. You know why we don’t like to wait? Because waiting immediately announces to you that you’re not in charge, because if you’re in charge, you wouldn’t be waiting. You have never gotten angry because you had to wait for you. (It took you a while.) You see, these are the character qualities that make a relationship beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to live in a marriage ruled by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? This is the marriage of every person’s dreams. This is the marriage every person longs for. Do you know what Jesus is saying? “It’s yours by grace. This gorgeous Kingdom I freely give to you. You couldn’t have earned it. You couldn’t have deserved it; you couldn’t have achieved it! It’s my gift to you! Why would you want the other kingdom?” This is beautiful! And yet sadly, there are men in this room and women in this room having sat here for these hours, by Tuesday or Wednesday, you’ll be fully committed once again to your own little kingdom. And you’ll be irritable, and demanding, and impatient. How tragic is that? It makes me want to weep. When this thing of stunning beauty: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control--such a beautiful description of a gorgeous marriage is God’s gift to you--it’s His welcome. “You leave your kingdom. I welcome you to this Kingdom you could never have chosen and designed for yourself, and oh, by the way, I’ll give you
Transcript: Session 8
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
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