Grief and Traumas Show on Your Face
by Barbara Gillett Saunders, Grief Counsellor Thanatologist Over years of counselling many indi- viduals, I have noticed how people phy- sically hold the stress from loss and traumas in their bodies, including in their faces. I have always said grief is mental,
emotional, physical and spiritual. I cannot see the spiritual components on the outside of someone, but the other three aspects are revealed on their face. The experiences of mental agony, distressing feelings and increased physical pain or stress are often visible on a person’s face, sometimes for years. Often the first time I meet a person is when they are experiencing trauma and grief losses. Over time, I begin to see a smile and softness start to appear in their face. Of particular interest to me are a person’s eyes. I truly believe the saying, ‘the eyes are a window into the soul’. When stress and grief are present in an individual’s life their eyes seem to be dark and empty. There can be a faraway gaze that looks nowhere -- do you know what I mean? Comments such as, ‘I do not cry’; ‘I cannot remember the last time I smiled’; ‘I don’t feel anything anymore’ and, ‘I just don’t want to be here (in this life) and experience this pain and grief any longer -- I’m done!’ are expressed often with grief. Verbalizing these feelings is part of the releasing. The release of grief for whatever reason and in whatever manner, over time has a way of opening a door a little and letting the light
or brightness shine on an individual. Hmm: I wonder if the light has been there all along, buried in the sadness. The softening of the face starts with a smile and a soft remembering. This is when the eyes start to sparkle and shine. You know there is more inside that person than darkness and grief. The tense, furrowed lines become rounded curves where the colour in their cheeks becomes pink. The grey tint to their skin disappears. For one individual it might be the first time they looked at the pictures of their deceased child and saw the funny moments instead of the death. For another individual it might be opening the curtains and seeing daylight or feeling the warmth of the sun. I want to add that not everyone is able to release their grief in what society thinks has been ‘long enough’ and seems therefore, to be stuck in their grief. Some people need more time and help opening the door of their hearts and letting the softness return to their face; to smile and see the sparkle in their own eyes. HEATHER JACKSON for CITY COUNCILLOR ON OCTOBER 26 ELECT DEDICATED PROVEN LEADERSHIP
Hometown St. Thomas
All articles written by Geoff Rae unless otherwise noted. Copy Editor – Peter Bloch-Hansen Publisher – Barb Botten barb@villagerpublications.com Graphic Artist – Cathy Wood We look forward to hearing from you. Copyright @ 2015 Villager Publications. All rights reserved. This magazine or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the Publisher. Information presented has been compiled from sources believed to be accurate at the time of printing however the Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions. Geoffrey Rae Managing Editor / Sales Geoff@villagerpublications.com • 519-495-7177
Ready to bring my experience, compassion and commitment back to St. Thomas City Council. St. Thomas Mayor - 2010-2018 St. Thomas City Council - 2003 to 2010
CONNECT WITH ME 519-870-3079 heather_jackson76@outlook.com
Page 50 Hometown St. Thomas • October 2026
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