Vol 9. Edition 5
News from CannaTown
Page 13
Opinion
All this popcorn is a Godsend and I'm stashing it in pillow cases A lot of
not gonna be enough insulation to go around my friends. And what's gonna happen then? Just think about it. All those people waking up every mornin’, needing their insulation, but then one day the insulation company’s just like, there is none, and then people riot . I know I would. I would burn the whole in- stitution down if they told me, no insulation for you sir . Wouldn't you? Aren't you boiling? Hot, cold. Hot, cold. Up, down. We’re al- ready there, yessiree . You’d be crazy not to follow my lead. ose leaf bags are three bucks down at Ernie’s. Go down, get yourself some bags, and then get out there and start packin’. I’m already up to een bags and I got big plans for em’. But for now I’m puttin’em all downstairs with my backup generators and other backup insula- tion. You know those little styrofoam pea- nuts? You better believe I keep that crap. If ya ask me, this corn palace was no disas- ter. It was a sign. We gotta preparing for the end. It all starts with insulation. In a decade we’re gonna look back, and those of us to took advantage are gonna remember this moment. End times, I tell you what, end times. BROOMS YOU'LL LOVE THE WAY THEY SWEEP POPCORN
people aren’t happy about the whole Corn Palace asco, and I don’t blame ‘em. Sure, it wrecked your house. Sure it backed up the sewer.
By Stumpy McGru
Sure, the smell of burning popcorn in the neighborhood is so thick and foul that I’ve shut my windows for good. But I’m no fool. I’m not burnin’ this stu in the garbage barrel out back, no sir. is here popcorn is a gul’durn Godsend . I’m stocking up on it, in stfulls in every pillow case and I’m going to tell you why: insulation. We’re obviously not far from the world end- ing and just like all those sh I started breed- ing in the basement and the bunker under my other bunker, I’m not taking any chances. I live in fear. And I’m G-D afraid that there’s
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