especially regarding the second and third: “What were you thinking and feeling as it was happening?” and “What did you do in response?” How will this “thought order” help prevent children from becoming apple-nailers for their own tree? 4. The final question, “What was the result?” helps children learn to think of their actions in terms of consequences, or “harvest.” Read aloud Galations 6:7-9 and Romans 6:20-23 , noting that both passages enlist the metaphor of harvesting fruit. How is it helpful to look ahead and see the fruit that will result from your actions? Can you build an easy-to-remember protocol to train your children to stop and think about their harvest before planting their seeds? 5. Once children see and confess their sin, they “will want to live in a different way.” Read aloud 1 Thessalonians 1:8-10 , focusing on the word “turned.” Is repentance merely a feeling of sorrow, or is it an action ? What are some practical ways to teach your children this critical distinction? 6. Faith completes the heart-turn that began with confession. Whereas repentance is a turning away from something (sin), faith is a turning toward —toward whom? Read aloud Hebrews 4:14-16 . Talk about how this sweet passage encourages you and your children in your respective turns of faith. 7. “If you are ever going to get at the hearts of your children, you have to start with your own heart.” Read aloud Luke 6:41-42 . (By the way, this is one of several instances in which our Lord used humor to make his point—capture a mental image of this situation.) In the parable, what do the splinter and log represent? And who has the bigger piece of wood stuck in his eye—the patient or the doctor? What will be the outcome of this surgery? The problem with “blind spots” is that we are blind to them—that’s why they’re called blind spots. What are your blind spots? (Hint: you don’t know.) In addition to God’s Word and prayer, other people can be very helpful here —because they clearly see faults that you are blind to! Are you humble enough to ask others to point out your sinful blind spots? How Did It Go Last Week? Share your successes and trials with the group. (10 minutes) Were you able to do some intentional heart-training with your children? Was the experience calmer than apple-nailing? How receptive were your children? What steps can you take to make this sort of intentional training an ongoing practice, with a flexible schedule but consistent effort? Lasting change, after all, is not an event but a process.
Session 4
GETTING TO THE HEART OF PARENTING
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