I said, "Yes, you can. I'm your dad. You can say anything to me. Nothing you could say would ever turn me away. I love you."
She said, "But it's hard."
I said, "I know it's hard, but you're my daughter. I love you. I'm your dad. There's nothing you can say to me that would turn me away."
She said, "I'm frustrated."
I said, "Okay, talk to me."
She says, "Well, I can't."
I said, "Yes, you can. I'm your dad. I love you. There's nothing you can say to me that would turn me away."
She said, "I'm frustrated at you and mom."
I said, "All right."
And then she said, tears streaming down her face, "I can't do what you're asking me to do. It's not enough that you make me share with my brothers, [one girl, three boys] but you tell me I'm supposed to find joy in it. I don't find joy in it. When you make me share, I'm mad at you and I'm mad at them. I can't do it." Parents, hear what I'm about to say. I was never happier as a father because she's got it. She can't do it. She needs the rescuing grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm afraid that we are all too skilled of raising children in Christian homes who feel no need for God's help, who don't feel like they need grace, who actually feel like they're okay. I think one of the big issues for our kids – parents, hear me say this – is not unrighteousness. It's self- righteousness. And that night, that 12-year-old girl prayed for God's help. When she said, "I can't do it," I said, "Baby doll, I can't either. The Bible says I should love your mommy like Christ loved the church, be willing to give my life up for her." I said, "You live with me. You know sometimes I'm irritated when mommy asks me to take out the trash." She smiled. But I said, "There's help for us. Not only does God forgive us, but He gives us His power in the person of the Lord Jesus." Now, look at me. Does your home produce that? Are you a learning community? I think that we have bought the world's values. We think success has to do with SAT scores. We think that success has to do with athletic prowess and musical ability. And we're so busy chasing all of that stuff, we have little time to be a learning community, we have little time to have any conversation whatsoever. In fact, most of you will recognize that you're often irritated that you have to talk to your child because you just don't have time to do it. What's happened to us? Now, I love music. I love athletics, but we must have our values in place because if you have a brilliant athlete and a brilliant musician and a brilliant student who does not love God and does not serve Him, what's the value of all of that? We're different. We believe in the center of this world is a God of grace and we believe that we were born into this world as broken people. And when a broken person admits his brokenness and moves toward that God of grace, wonderful things happen. That's the family. If I watched the video of your last six weeks, would that be what I saw? Would I say, "Yes, this is a learning community." Or would I see a family that goes to church on Sunday, but they're running after everybody else's dream just like everybody else is and they have little time for relationship, let alone meaningful, educational, God-oriented community? Let's pray.
Transcript: Session 2
GETTING TO THE HEART OF PARENTING
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