I said, "Would you turn down your stereo?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Do you ever think about how much God loves you?"
He's a little kind of confused about why we're having this conversation. He said, "Well, I don't know if I think about it all the time, but I think about that sometimes."
"I mean, no. Do you ever think about how much God loves you, you as an individual?"
"You know, Dad, I guess I do, but I don't know what you're at."
I said, "Well, did you ever think about how much God's love and grace was operating in your life even this weekend?"
You know what he said? "Who told you?"
And I said, "Justin, I want you to hear me. You have made good choices. You have lived your life in the light and this weekend, you took a step toward the darkness. It's not about me. Oh, yes, you lie to me and that's something we need to talk about, but there's something bigger going on here. You can learn to lie. You can learn to create elaborate back stories. You can learn to manipulate and deceive. Or you can say, 'I don't want to be that kind of person. I want to live in the light.'" And I said, "That's all I want to say to you right now." I started out of the room and I heard his voice behind me. He said, "Dad Don't leave." I turned around and there are tears streaming down the face of this 16-year-old and he said to me, "Dad, I want to live in the light, but it's so hard." And this 16-year-old kid actually looked at me and said, "Won't you help me?" "Won't I help you? I'd love to help you." Now, my normal instinct would have been to get in his face and say, "Don't you dare ever tell me a lie. Do you know who I am? Do you know what I do for you? I do and do for you, and this is the thanks I get? You're grounded for six months," and walk out of the room. And you just nailed another apple. That child has no greater insight, no greater desire to change, no greater desire for your help. He's utterly unchanged. He's just unchanged and in prison, and we call that Christian parenting. Know what I'm saying, parents? That if you're ever going to get at the hearts of your children, you have to start with your own heart. You know, at 7:00 in the morning when you're getting ready to go and your children are fighting over something that's stupid, and you start screaming at them? You're not screaming at those children because they broke God's law. You're screaming at those children because they're breaking your law and in your law, there's no parenting needed early in the morning. You see, that's your heart stuff. I don't want to have to parent children who need parents. I don't want them to mess up. I don't want any disrespect. I don't want any fighting. I don't want any quandaries to solve. I want homework quickly done. I want self-parenting children. That's my heart stuff. Hear this, parents. If your eyes ever see and your ears ever hear the sin, weakness and failure of your children, it's never an accident. It's never an obstruction. It's never an interruption. It should never be viewed as a hassle. It's always the operation of God's grace. God loves that child. He's put him in a family of faith and He will reveal their need to you, so you can be his instrument of help and change. That's love. That's grace. Something's wrong with us when we look at that as being a bad thing, when we look at that as being a hassle, when we're uptight because our moment is being interrupted. That's our heart stuff. And let me give you these four things that will happen if you're not dealing with your heart and then we'll be done. Here's the first one. You will tend to turn moments of ministry into moments of anger. You will tend to turn moments of ministry into moments of anger. This is a moment of opportunity. God is revealing the need of your
Transcript: Session 4
GETTING TO THE HEART OF PARENTING
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