If you have a child between 0 and 5, I'd like you to ask the question, what legacy are you building for that child right now? What seeds are you planting and what is the harvest going to look like? And those of you who are harvesting, why are you harvesting what you're harvesting right now? What do you need to do to remediate? Long life does not mean that if I disobey I will physically die. Rather, this is a promise of blessing, a long and prosperous life from the willing submission of myself to God and the authorities He has placed in my life. I love what it says in the Psalms. I love this. "All the ways of the Lord are right and true. All the ways of the Lord are right and true." When you live God's way, there's blessing. I don't mean a pain- and problem-free life, but blessing and you want to give that legacy to your children. Now, one of the things you need to understand is that your exercise of authority is actually a rescue mission. You're not disciplining your child just because they've made you mad and because they made you mad, you have a right to slug them. The whole purpose is to return your child back to God's circle of safety. Discipline is corrective. Discipline is restorative. Discipline is rescue. Now there are some things that you need to know. It’s rescue and restoration. You want to turn the heart of your child. That's the purpose of the discipline. It should not be an expression of your irritation, anger or impatience because then what the child does, he doesn't respect your authority. He becomes a master at reading your mood. And when you're having a bad day, he stays out of danger. And when you're having a good day, he's going to push you. You see, that doesn't have to do with submission to authority. It's that you have not made it an issue of authority, you've made it an issue of your mood. And when you do that, there'll be things that are wrong that don't tend to bother you that you won't go after. And there will be things that are wrong that particularly bother you that you will go after way too much because it's about your emotion, it's not about God's law and that is like walking on eggshells. The child is trying to scan you. They got the mom and dad GPS out, and they're trying to figure out "who is mom today". Sometimes you can even listen to siblings say, "Mom's having a bad day. Watch it. I wouldn't ask for that right now. You'll get it. We don't know what it is, but we don't want it." It's loving authority, act of discipline as an expression of God's authority. Now what's the primary tool that God has established? It's the rod. Now some of you are going to struggle with this because you have been enculturated by the surrounding society and I want you to open your hearts to what I'm going to say right now. Just like there are fashion fads in culture, there are philosophical fads. I can remember my dad went out and bought a Ford Fairlane 500. And it was two-tone, which was very cool in those days, pink and black. What a horrible looking car, but it was cool. Now, if you would look at that today, you wouldn't think that that car is cool-looking. You didn't make that choice. Somebody else defines for us what looks beautiful. You're wearing things – many of you, I mean some men, you're wearing the same thing you would have worn 50 years ago, but – that you wouldn't have thought were that attractive 20 years ago. In the same way, we are massively influenced by the philosophical fads of culture and so it's always important to go back to what the Bible has to say about particular issues. Hear these passages of Scripture. "He who spares the rod hates his son, but He who loves him is careful to discipline him. Discipline your son for in that there is hope. Do not be a willing party to his death. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Do not withhold discipline from a child. If you punish him with a rod, he will not die. [He'll sound like it.] Punish him with a rod and save his soul from death. The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. Discipline your son and he will give you peace. He will bring delight to your soul." So I want to go back to Proverbs 22:15. Before I look at this passage, I want you to hear me say this. Physical abuse of any sort is a horrendous, evil assault on the very identity of your child. It will crush, embitter, and distort
Transcript: Session 6
GETTING TO THE HEART OF PARENTING
60
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