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THE MORE I TALK ABOUT IT, THE EASIER IT GETS
FRANCIS RACINE francis.racine@eap.on.ca
The Vision newspaper recently sat down with a survivor of sexual abuse. In order not to identify him, we have given him the fictitious name of Gary. “They put me on a path I didn’t want to be on.” Gary’s many tattoos cover his arms, which are visible as he eats a club sandwich at a local Rockland bar. He’s agreed to talk about his youth, something that he only started EPJOHBDPVQMFPGZFBSTBHP5IFNJEEMFBHFE man resided in Rockland for some time before moving throughout Canada. He finally settled in Ottawa. He came to Rockland as a young boy, XJUIIJTTJTUFSBOENPUIFS5IFZNPWFEJOUP an already crowded house, alongside family NFNCFST5IBUTXIFOUIFBCVTFCFHBO5IF pain is visible in Gary’s face, as he explained what happened. “It was some really disgusting things,” he remembered. He recalled how, on one Christmas Eve, he was introduced to alcohol. “I was about UXFMWFZFBSTPME uIFTBJEi5IFZHPUNF drunk on vodka and I passed out. When I woke up, I was in my underwear, in the bathroom, and they were taking pictures of me.” Such abuse scarred the now grown man. It led him to being what he calls a drunk and a frequent drug user. “I was always trying to push back what had happened,” he admitted. i5IFZUPPLBXBZNZDIJMEIPPEBOEEFTUSPZFE XIP*XBT5IFPOMZXBZ*DPVMEDPQFXBT by using drugs and alcohol. I didn’t choose to be a drug addict or a drunk.” 5IFNBOTUSFTTFTUIBUIFIBEOPTUBCJMJUZ whatsoever, jumping from relationship to relationship. “I lost everything, over and over again,” he admitted.
Le journal Vision s’est récemment entretenu avec une victime d’abus sexuel. Celui-ci dit avoir eu recours à l’alcool et à la drogue afin d’y faire face. Ce n’est que trois ans passés qu’il est devenu sobre. — archive
experienced youth trauma,” he estimated. i5IFZOFWFSEFBMUXJUIJUBOEUIBUTXIZTPNF of them have addiction problems.” In addition, the man discovered a talent he did not know he possessed: painting. “I can’t draw, but I sure can paint,” he admitted, laughing. “My paintings have the same theme: a beginning and an end.” His work has been showcased at an exhibition in Ottawa. When asked what advice he could give to anyone who has been through similar trauma, Gary ponders for a little while, before CMVSUJOHPVUi5BMLUPTPNFPOFZPVUSVTU Don’t be afraid. Don’t let fear control your life. Shine a light on it. Shame hates light.”
twelve steps to becoming sober and went back to school. Gary claims to have been given the courage to speak out about what happened to him because of Alcoholics Anonymous. “I got stronger, after seeing the struggle of someone else,” he explained. “It gave me courage.” Gary now holds a job with an Ottawa organization that helps the Capital’s ho meless population. “I’m the outreach guy,” he indicated proudly. “I go around helping the homeless, by giving them supplies and checking up on them.” Gary is also tasked with sometimes giving them lifts to various places, such as the hospital. “From what I can see, about 90 per cent of people that live on the streets
5IBOLGVMMZ (BSZTTFFNJOHMZVOFOEJOH downward spiral took a surprising and life saving twist in 2009, during a visit to a dentist. “I’m not afraid anymore” While on a dentist’s chair, Gary had a full fledge panic attack. “I have no idea why it happened,” he added. “I couldn’t stop crying and I couldn’t breathe.” He followed one of his friend’s advice and decided to visit a therapist. “I started remembering,” confided the man. “I only started coming to grips with what happened. *SFBMJ[FEUIBUJUXBTOPUNZGBVMU5IBUT what predators do, they make you think it’s your fault.” 5IF NBO TVDDFTTGVMMZ VOEFSUPPL UIF
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