Communication Is Key
BRING UP THE HARD TOPICS Some things are really difficult to talk about and initiating those conversations can be emotionally draining. You and your loved one are facing decisions that include a broad array of choices. They may be practical, emotional, spiritual, legal, existential or medical in nature. For example, you may have a strong opinion that differs from the patient’s concerning a treatment approach. Or, perhaps your loved one is struggling with feelings of loss of independence and doesn’t want to burden you. It is important to keep in mind that we all express our emotions differently. With some practice, you can find ways to communicate with your loved one that work for both of you. Keep in mind: • Your loved one may not want to hear what you have to say. • Speak from your heart. • Be clear in your intentions. • Things will not likely be resolved after one conversation. • Sometimes just listening is the most valuable thing you can offer. Let your loved one process their thoughts and fears in their own time and in their own way. • It’s your loved one’s life, and it’s their cancer. As a caregiver, you must accept that you cannot fix everything, no matter how much you want to, and some decisions must be made by the patient.
BE OPEN ABOUT STRESS Sometimes just acknowledging the stress of the situation can be helpful.
LEARN ABOUT ADVANCE DIRECTIVES Advance directives are legal papers that let your loved one decide important issues relating to their treatment and care. These can include specifics such as how much treatment to receive, and who should make decisions if he or she cannot. Having an advance directive helps ensure that patients get the treatment that they want. It will also make it a lot easier for caregivers to make treatment decisions if they understand their loved one’s wishes. Advance directives include: Living will: This document outlines what kind of medical care patients want if they are unable to speak for themselves. Durable medical power of attorney: This document names a person to make medical decisions for a patient if he or she can no longer make decisions. This person, chosen by the patient, is called a “healthcare proxy.”
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