( contd) Who or what wi l l he lp you out ? What tool s do you use now? I would say in these moment s , di g deep , have conf idence that you have the tool s in your pocket and use them dai ly. Speak to your sober s i s ters , cal l on your group and have fai th that you have al ready overcome the poss ibl e causes of re lapse many t imes in the las t two years and i t didn’ t happen! You ’ ve got thi s x
#3
Dear Gee,
I lost my Dad in the last year and although I have kept sober (at times it was touch and go) I continue to feel that drinking is an option at some point in the future or when the day gets too much. We are coming to his first anniversary and it is only now I am feeling his loss and know if he had known how much I drank when he was alive he would have been very disappointed. I have disappointed my husband and my kids for twelve years drinking to excess and with this big grief moment coming up, I am terrified I will just cave.. Please help..... Dear lovely lady, I am so sorry for your loss and I feel for you. Grief is so difficult and you are so right it could be a trigger when you are looking for comfort. The answer is NOT down the neck of a bottle. Do something positive with those emotions, you can make yourself and your family proud. You’re doing it now, reaching out to people who can be by your side. My personal thought is nothing is harder than burying someone you love. A year on, you are remembering that pain and hurt. The reality is this is just another day, you have not had your dad for the last 365 days, and you have been sober, this is to be celebrated! Use this time to remember him with clarity of thought and honour his memory with sober strength. Remember how far you have come and how proud he will be that you are now sober. Drinking is NOT an option, NOT EVER. It will not help you, it won’t make you feel better, it won’t even drown your sorrow. It will make you more depressed, more disappointed and you’ll be back at square one. You’ve come too far to have this as a consideration. So, honour his memory. Protect yourself, reach out to your group of sober sisters, they are experts in grief and loss. Accept the feelings of grief and pain, it is real, seek counselling it can help, do whatever you need to do to get you through the day. Remember you have 365 days under your belt, tried and tested and you are here, sober! Your sadness is real and normal. Seek comfort in positive behaviours. Load your fridge with Nosecco and chocolate, have your friends on speed dial. You are not alone and you have people around you who can help. . Lot s of luck xxx
DON ' T WASTE A MOMENT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE
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